my heart was too whole
my heart was too whole
so we tore, you and I
your memory, my mind
your hair brushed back
young laugh young eyes
and I remember
leaf boat love letter
what i adore you like rivers
oceans lakes and all those other
waters, movement easy and
constant, even in
stillness dances someway; dear,
i long to fall against
your body softly
wild as rain again and,again that i;
think of you,
sunlight so effortlessly and
and motions naturally
maybe roughness much and,more,
more,more of you
bite the curb and sleep well
i wanna shoot girls like hogs. (you wanna do what now?)
cry them to sleep & kiss
their scars where new skin tapers,
off forearm precipices (hurts,
petering out into icebergs (hurts,
fingers calving against
the ocean and crying out (in how much pain?)
blue agave ballerinas in
public pools (fucking hogs,
meaning )) pupils dilated ,red
from chlorine ,red
not from nails vs. skin but
tequila vs. tearducts. (liar.) he didn’t
know her last name. (really?) shots
of gin (bonnie!) gunshots,
littering the pool with bodies
in a one piece he bought/ for you
(th)rough gun against head or
gin against girls. shot like
shot like hogs, (hogs?)
still waiting for the sound
of bullets exiting your mouth.
god (clyde?) or godlike ( ). 13|72 grand
allegro; sleep well; (ok then, sleep well.)
Sharon slipped through the door, trying her best not to attract too much attention. If it weren't for her sister, she wouldn't even be here today. She just knew that everybody's eyes would be on here; the gossipers probably didn't wait to infest the whole town with the latest piece of juicy news.
Avoiding the center of the room, she stuck to the walls. Finally, Sarah noticed Sharon and quickly excused herself from the company closing in around her. She skillfully made her way across the room, and reached her sister, even though every eye had turned in their direction now.
"Sharon! You came!" She threw her arms around Sharon, and hugged her tightly.
"Hi, little sister. Congratulations with the engagement." They let go of each other, Sharon holding her sister at arms' length. "I hope you and Timothy will have a blessed future together." They hugged each other again.
"Thanks, sis. And thank you for coming."
"Anything for you." She smiled at her sister, and then urged her to leave again. "You have guests to tend to."
The minutes sped by, and she listened to every sour tale and word circling about her and...him. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and she fled outside. She listened to the crickets and the solitary owl. The world behind her disappeared, until she heard it. Their song...Her and Hobart's song...
The tears started trickling down her cheeks. All their moments together flooded her mind and memory. They were incredible together. The perfect couple. They fit like a glove to a hand. Like ice cream to summer. Like rain to a rainforest.
Mistrust...It is strong enough to kill any relationship...She slipped her head into her hands, feeling all those doubts and fears flooding through her body. She remembered him...His green eyes...So bewitching...His black, curly hair, that always fell over his forehead...The way he laughed...The way he treated her like...like a queen. His queen. And when he sang the song to her...His deep voice believing in every word:
We even counted us out
We weren't sure we'd make it
But we've learned
No matter what they dish out
It's nothing, we can take it.
"You know, this used to be our song..." She swung around, but it wasn't just another mirage. It really was him this time. Looking like he was hit by a train, haven't slept in days, and was hiding from some secret intelligence agency. Well, probably not the first and third descriptions. Only like he haven't slept in days. He looked downright awful.
"I remember..." She murmured, her voice hitching as he stepped closer. He came to stop in front of her, dropping to one knee. He grabbed a hold of her two hands, and looked up at her.
"Sharon...I can't live like this...I know you have had reason to doubt me. But, I love you. And when I love somebody, this...incredible thing happens. I don't lie to them. I tell them only the truth, and nothing but it. You haven't believed me, but I never lied to you. And I never will. Please, give me another chance? Believe me, please...I just want one more chance..."
"Yes..." She whispered, before sinking down to her knees as well. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and murmured into his ear, "We'll go down in history...They'll describe our love...As incredible..." She paused for a bit. "I've always loved that part the most..."
"Me too..." He pulled away a little, and then sealed their reunion with a kiss.
Wish I couldn’t feel
"How did I become so numb?"
Oh God, I wish I was numb.
Wish I didn't have to feel,
Wish that nothing was real
But honey I feel everything.
Every curse, every tear, ever fail.
I feel it all and I feel too much.
Oh Lord, how I wish I was numb.
About feeling so so dead
But I wish I felt dead,
Hell, I wish I was dead,
Because feelings always fuck me up.
If I was numb I'd have no regrets,
No unrequited love
No voices in my head calling me dumb.
Sure, I'd never feel joy,
But it's not like I feel it much anyway.
Melt me down into plastic,
Make me a fucking toy.
Everyone complains about being numb
But I'd love my feelings to
Love isn't the same thing as fucking
When you fuck over someone you say you lovin
That’s the main problem
Then the lack of understanding
Sucks to realize that love can’t solve any of them
Love can be prison
Love can make you feel like you at different ends of a prism
If it feels like that, then that isn't even love at all
Don’t even call that love, Love
Cupid's gonna laugh at y’all
When it’s called
But not right as soon as you fall
You won’t feel the pain at all
Till when, you begin, building deep within
The impossible tall