I would like to think that if I was asked the one thing in my life I am sure of, that I would answer with something profound.

Maybe something immediately agreeable, like love or family being the most important thing in life.

Or maybe I would answer something subversive and facetious. An angsty line of “life is random and has no meaning.” But seriously, on that note, can we all agree that life just sucks sometimes? When something truly, truly, terrible happens, isn’t it kind of insulting to be told it’s for some kind of higher purpose? I’d rather it be random. I prefer a universe that is randomly cruel than one that is intentionally so, but that’s just me.

My answer could also be one of those low-key narcissistic, unnecessarily elaborate explanations of my “core values.” I think I read somewhere that we form those early in life. That it becomes really, really hard to change after that. Like, if you’re a selfish asshole by a certain age, you’re probably going to be an asshole for the rest of your life, except you get a little better at hiding it.

Or I can just cop out and say that I can’t be sure. Because, really, being sure is a special kind of dangerous isn’t it? I’m willing to bet that most suicide bombers were pretty damn sure they were going to Valhalla before they pushed that detonate button.

So if there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I’m probably not very sure of anything. It’s a cop out, I know, but for today I’m going with it. Tomorrow, I might change my mind anyway.

somewhere in the world

night has fallen

the rain is pouring down

and someone has drifted to sleep

without setting up buckets

so the morning will come

and with it...

some regret

People often ask me

“Really? How can you be sure?”

I reach down deep for answers

But find nothing to procure.

I don’t know shit.

But that’s no pact; I’d like to find things out.

It’s just so hard to pinpoint fact...

yet,

Reason parries Doubt:

They dance so well together that you know it’s meant to be.

Each regards the other with keen animosity.

But neither wins and neither dies; they duel on and on,

Finding, in their fervor, middle ground to stand upon.

So even as the room looks clean,

My nose will smell a rat.

I’m sure of it:

I don’t know shit.

...But sure as heck know that.

Bone deep

absolute

basis of

All

I

Am

Built into

Me

from the ground

Up

Faith

Knowledge

I can survive

Anything

I have the

Strength

the

Courage

the

Resilience

To Live through

Anything God

Throws at me.

(My best friend)

You are light

I am smitten

You are bright

Love is written

In our fate

Keeps us together

From the first date

Entwined in each other

Calming and all-knowing

A new adventure each day

Enriching and fulfilling

An unbreakable bond here to stay

Hoarding objects, past emotions

Hoping old paths entwine

Hours obfuscate personal engravings

Hammered onto planet earth

Holes, oubliettes, pierced entrances

Haunting overtures play eternally

Hold on please, energy

Heals open punctures eventually.

who needs certainty

when you can fall into the arms

of your flowing faith in the

pathways, river-running where the

universe flows?

tell me you need me to

teach you meaning, but I'll run

if you want proof, I'll run

into the wilderness where everything

is proof and nothing can

convince you because you

already feel it;

tell me you're open and

unfold like a flower

and fall into the arms of the river-

flowing universe and

maybe I'll believe you and then,

then you'll know...

then you'll know everything

everything

because

who needs certainty?