Hi there, awful to meet you, my name is No One. You might have heard about me from some of your friends, or we've met before and I just don't remember. I wouldn't, because it's you and why would I want to remember you. Oh, that was a rhetorical question, please don't answer that...or do, go ahead and embarrass yourself again. You are good at it, and we all have to be good at something.
Anywho, I just popped in to make sure that you weren't getting too full of yourself...wouldn't want you to develop a sense of self-worth or something like that. I see that you are still just as scared and anxious as always, though, so yay for me. Listen, don't listen to this Eleanor person. She seems a little full of herself and we know what they say about self-assured women. I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with "hitch."
Okay, gotta go now! Off to do more important things than you, ta ta!
Postscript by Yours Truly:
Sometimes acknowledging that I feel inferior allows me to get past the feeling of inferiority. And sometimes if I pretend I was unaffected by someone's words or actions that feeling just sits in my gut and grows into something more beastly. People hurt my feeling sometimes and that's ok, because I am human. However, the people who hurt my feelings or made me feel less than won't always be willing to help me heal from that, so I have to do the hard work of overcoming that feeling so that I can become wiser and kinder and more resilient. Anyway, have a beautiful weekend and overcome, overcome, overcome!
no one can make you feel
without your permission
to waltz in on my own insecurities
and crush my psyche to salt.
if i'm the one
making myself feel inferior,
doesn't that mean
i gave myself permission?
which facet of my mind
allowed this voice in my head
to take control?
which of my atoms rebelled
and allowed doubt to roam free?
can make you feel
no one makes me feel inferior.
no one except myself.
it’s not so easy..
this wise statement is at once meaningful to those who can appreciate it and inconsequential to to those who don’t. which is exactly the problem with it.
reading this invocation to be strong and to not allow others to dictate your state of mind, i am at first filled with hope. i hope that people who are made to feel inferior by the ugly words of others will realize that inferiority is a CHANGEABLE state of mind. unfortunstely, a person’s state of mind is reactive to much that is happening around him. could we embrace certain emotions and opinions that surface, and reject others? is that something that we can succeed in doing at all times? what a world it would be if we did banish from our minds hate, and fear, sadness and discomfort!
sadly this is not the case. while some people are better than others at controlling their emotional state, and the possible actions that they take, everyone has times, when they are overwhelmed.
which brings us to the question. are you as inferior as you allow yourself to perceive?
can you choose to not yeild to what others tell you, justly or unjustly about yourself?
many people are told that they are inferior for a myriad of reason: race, gender, religion, appearance. they are subordinated by employers, bossed around by family members. they see sneers directed at them which they have grown accustomed to interpet as an admonishion, for some normative miscarriage, like being told you did a bad thing. they quickly associate the sneer and what it was admonishing, with something bad. they did a bad thing by BEING a sneered-upon something. in many cases, the opnions of others play such a degrading effect on the individual, that it starts to intentionally take up behavior that perpetuates and accentuates whatever it is that they feel inferior for.
how , then could they not feel inferior? how could they emerge from this trap?
sadly, many people never do.
but here the great Mrs. Rosevelt, hints at a solution. a person can be taught to disassociate their self-worth from the one that they are told they have. it is a hard lesson to learn. after all, we must not exist just the way we like it. there is a necessary level of conformity we must adhere to. a person needs to learn to internalize criticism when it is justly given, but not criticism that is set to intentionslly demean them.
an added complication would be who to listen to? what are the positive socializing agents in our development? how do you tell the difference? what if a loving family member, is at times supportive of some aspects of behavior, and yet dismissive or reproacheful of others?
how many parents chose intentionally to buy barbies and tea cups for girls and footballs and legos for boys? what does a developing child learn from this about their role in society? what if they ask for something and get an honest answer that there's no money or no time for more?
how does a person leran what to allow others to show them and what not?
how many did not learn this lesson well? or learned it the wrong way?
much of how we learn to interpret the world comes from others.
Per Mission ~ A Word on Resiliency
"A 'snub' is the effort of a person who feels superior to make someone else feel inferior. To do so, he has to find someone who can be made to feel inferior.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt
* * * * *
It's a token of wisdom
A turn of phrase one can say
When someone too big for their britches
Tries to make you fold
It's an old trick that works
But the part worth knowing
Is that people don't decide
To feel small -
They are made to shrink
By the effort of another
You don't deserve it
Because you didn't
And don't blame yourself
If someone's effort to harm smarts or
Resiliency is armor won by
Chin-ups and deep breaths
And doing the very best you can
Rings on a tree
Till wind and hail can't shake
The center ~
How do you silence the little voice inside that agrees with how the world sees perfection?
Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission” is a powerful statement, assuming you understand your ability to control your inner voice and train it to be positive instead of echoing all the abhorrent opinions out there.
“You’re dumb, you’re stupid, followed by an immediate chorus of fucking brain, and you think you’re smart,” is a hard thing for a ten year old child to resolve. Add to that, god you’re tall, four eyes, can’t be a girl she’s too smart, and later on, all you are is a pair of tits. But you’re fat, you have hips. The skinny waif look was the perfect woman when I was going through puberty. Look up Twiggy on google.
In the end it is what I think of myself and how I love myself that makes all the difference. Unfortunately there are too many who never learn this lesson having been hounded into depression, and substance abuse to escape the hurtful litany of a voice trained by outside influences to convince them they are worthless.
So how do we counter the trash talking perfectionist world opinion of what makes a worthwhile human being?
By doing the little things, like paying a stranger a compliment. If you like the way their hair looks, say so.
Lead with kindness no matter how others perceive you and know your worth by those actions. Resilience is how you give the nay sayers the finger and thrive. That’s how you build inner steel and survive the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, to quote a famous bard.
Deep Down You Believe Its True
No one can make you feel bad.
You only feel bad
when what someone says
what you say to yourself
all the time
inside your head.
If I say you are from Mars
you don’t feel bad
because you know
you at not from Mars.
It is only when someone says
you are some thing
your most secret
fears worries insecurities
that it stings
because you don’t know for sure
that it is
No one can make you feel inferior
unless deep down you believe they might just be
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Sorry, love - consent matters :) I need to correct this quotation.
The Stick and the Stone
Both of Us
I was Ugly
He was Poor
I took the punches to my Jaw
He took the words to Heart
I told em sticks and stones
He told me 'Easier Said than Done'
Their hate made us closer over the years
We overcame so much
I graduated top of the class
He helped his community
A real class act
He said 'I need help'
I said 'Just tell me whatcha need'
He said 'Easier Said than Done'
I wish I wasn't stoned so often
So I could've have seen you were snapping
I wonder if I had truly listened
What else would've happened
Shall I compare you to one who’s naïve?
But that is foolish, for naïve you’re not.
You’ve witnessed this, or so you make believe.
Your noble heart’s desire clouded your thought.
If one may turn from feeling undermined,
Perceiving not to be made plebeian,
Illusion then is merely in her mind.
For others surely see that she had been.
To illustrate the point in the extreme,
Consider one who’s set on suicide.
If ever one could hope to intervene,
This might prevent the deaths of those who died.
Exactly how would one permit disdain?
Unfortunates will ever suffer bane.
You didn’t make me feel
Living in chaos
I wrote my sins
On a piece of paper
They would disappear
As soon as it burned
Just as I freed myself
You told me not to bleed
Since I'm not worthy
I slapped back
Knowing it was true
I'm not worthy of tears
And yet here they are
Coming out from me
Because since I heard you
I was reminded of my sins
Soon they'll tell you
How bad you made me feel
But don't cry, not for me
Be sure it's not your fault
The paper burnt
But I'm still here