Boys Will Be Boys
boys will be boys
performing perverted acts
and girls will be girls
forever living in fear.
boys will be boys,
stigmatized for the acts of others.
girls will be girls
jumping on the opportunity
boys are in the wrong.
girls are in the wrong.
girls living in fear for what they wear
and boys being disbelieved
when they report their share
of sexual harrassment.
is it any wonder
that i don't want any part
of this binary clusterfuck?
better to slide in between
the pink and blue
a purple middle ground
so that i don't have to deal
with perverted boys
and judging girls.
everyone has their flaws
indeed i do too
and it's not fair to generalize
based on the acts of a few.
i don't want to be a boy
and i don't want to be a girl
because no matter which gender i
choose to identify with,
you can't win.
boys will be boys,
girls will be girls,
and i will be me,
far away from
all of it.
“love you to the moon and back”
Unless you’re in love with a lunar astronaut, I’m pretty sure you’re just being a pretentious twit. Anyone can love someone to the moon and back. Outer space is romantic from the get-go. How about “love you to hell and back” eh? Still pretentious, but less disgusting. No wait, I’ve got it, “love you to the latrines and back.” That aughta weed out the snob-noses.
No Offense, But
One: Invariably preceding something offensive, this phrase disguises
cruelty as freindly advice.
Two: Don't call me But!
Just work hard
Me: Damn, I’m so stressed out about my upcoming finals
Some ‘adult’ I was really banking on for motivational talk: Just word hard, that’s it.
Like come on dude, you mean I’m not already working hard enough? Like I’m not already busting my head, going sleepless for this shit? What is hard work anyway? Does it have some kind of quality or even better, quantity? Is it a hundred sleepless nights? Gallons of strong coffee amidst a painful process of turning into a zombie? Gigantic all-inclusive textbooks? Death by book? Come on you’ve got to give me more than that or better still,
don’t say that piece of crap to me.
Or best still, smile and nod your head sympathetically so I know you got nothing. work hard? dude don't piss me off.
If you don’t mind me saying.....
I am going to say what the hell I like, regardless of you liking it or not.
“There are no such things as absolute truths.”
“Are you absolutely sure about that?”
“Yes” ( How ironic.)
“Then why should anyone bother listening to you?”
Catch A Bubble
As a teacher in a preschool setting, "catch a bubble" is a common way to ask students to be quiet. Maybe it is because the phrase is overused, or that it doesn't really seem to work, but I absolutely hate it with a passion. I will only ask students to catch a bubble if bubble wands are being used outside, otherwise I refuse....
Think Outside The Box
This is perhaps not a conceited phrase but, like going forward, it’s one that gets my goat.
In my mind, all thoughts are free flowing. Ideas worth having run wild with abandon, forging their own path along the way.
Now, I heard it said that if someone says, ‘Don’t think of an elephant,’ one cannot help but imagine a pachyderm. I don’t know how true that is; you tell me. Is Nelly dancing through your mind right now?
But on the off-chance that it is true – and let’s face it, the human brain is contrary enough that is most likely is – why would one mention a box when encouraging free thinking? Simply using the word brings to mind the image of a container and thus restricts the thought process.
I believe it would be better to replace the prison of a box with words charged with positivity and inspiration:
Once, while watching an individual gaze at herself in the mirror, I heard her say (to her reflection), ”You beautiful thing, you, don’t you never die!”
Conceit, mixed proverbially with an improper use of grammar, makes for a person of extraordinarily unattractive proportions!
Just do Your Best
I used to think that I liked this phrase, but now thinking about it, I absolutely hate it. When someone says this, what is the best they are looking for? You could work and work to your breaking point and they would continue to say "Do your best." You could be doing the best from your point of view and they would continue to say "Just do your best." Where does it end? When you break down and fall apart, or will they just say "Get up, do your best to get back to normal." When you die, or will they say "Well she can continue to do her best in heaven." Or is it when someone who thinks the very lowest of you, grumbles "She did her best."
I think it is when the world falls apart and everyone gets their way. When everyone is happy and they all think they are the best. When you compete with a friend and they win, and then they say you did your best. To make you feel better.
To some people "Do your best." Is an actual good phrase, when they are supporting you or trying to help you get over the misery of your horse shying from jumps and you fall off.
"Do your best," just doesn't have an end.