There once was a lady named Pat
Whose hat was made from a cat?
The dogs in the area
Saw nothing as scarier
As Pat with her cat as a hat
If you want to get ahead, get a hat!
©Julian Race 11/07/2021
42 likes, 25 re posts and read 325 times and did not win the challenge! The winner had 8 likes!
The Unsung Sustentacular
There once was a limerick oracular
With passingly striking vernacular.
It tried to be swank
As a minted lamb shank,
But sadly fell short of spectacular.
A writer, let’s say his name’s Rick,
Tried to craft a new limerick.
He started off fine,
He understood rhyme,
But lost it at the end, not knowing how to end the poem and making it drag on too long, completely ruining the meter and the pace and possibly even ruining the entire challenge, the d!ck.
The poem above needs more care.
To submit it, how did I dare?
Truly ’twas awful,
I beg forgiveness, Uschibear.
My sentence hangs from the rafter;
There I’ll remain hereafter.
To me please be kind,
And may I remind:
The best medicine is laughter.
This feeling I get off of you
makes my brain a thunder cloud blue
perhaps we’d be better
to write you a letter
telling you with a flourish adieu.
The brick joke
there was a poor boy,his name’s Nick,
he was born with a terrible tick,
So a bridge he climbed up,
but not for to jump,
but to cast his bad luck with a brick
to be honest, i am all too ravenous,
my stomach is spacious and cavernous,
i eat to excess,
i make no pretence,
and so my shape’ is mostly gelatenous.
i have a young girl , she’s so cute,
she never holds still, she’ll soon scoot,
as already mentioned,
my weight and my penchant
so the running is not such a hoot.
some words, they fell into disuse,
like hoot and scoot and abacus,
but why should i mind,
the words left behind,
if my spelling is so outrageous.
my students, they can’t understand,
the words that i write, chalk in hand,
so instead , cards i make,
and let those brats take,
presentations with games to expand.
elevators hate me , they do,
i am not being paranoid, its true!
they avoid coming down ,
when they know i’m around,
it’s my weight , that they fear, i construe.
on the car hood there is a big dent,
it is sad and the car i lament,
if it wasn’t for Nick,
and his f**ing hard brick,
impacting the car in decent!
Incident in the Kitchen
There once was a kitchen rookie
Who took a microwave look-see
He put in some noodles
But was off by oodles
Smoke is a signal to boogie
A Limerick: Breakfast for Dinner
Hurray, Hurray, Hurray! Now Open 24/7, yay!
All you can eat buffet: Breakfast all day!
Everyone leaves a winner:
chicken waffle for dinner!
Oh to bloat the bad times merry away!
Mouthbreather anti-vaxer, Ike
Derided the pandemic spike;
Dispatched was his ass,
Eschewing the mask,
And his heart and two lungs alike.