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Poetry & Free Verse
Challenge Ended
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Ended July 16, 2021 • 10 Entries • Created by Uschibear
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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Cover image for post Meowwwww, by JulianRace
Profile avatar image for JulianRace
JulianRace in Poetry & Free Verse
• 368 reads

Meowwwww

There once was a lady named Pat

Whose hat was made from a cat?

The dogs in the area

Saw nothing as scarier

As Pat with her cat as a hat

If you want to get ahead, get a hat!

©Julian Race 11/07/2021

42 likes, 25 re posts and read 325 times and did not win the challenge! The winner had 8 likes!

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Profile avatar image for EstherFlowers1
EstherFlowers1 in Poetry & Free Verse
• 45 reads

The Unsung Sustentacular

There once was a limerick oracular

With passingly striking vernacular.

It tried to be swank

As a minted lamb shank,

But sadly fell short of spectacular.

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Profile avatar image for Rob_Lee
Rob_Lee in Poetry & Free Verse
• 38 reads

Tri-gedy

A writer, let’s say his name’s Rick,

Tried to craft a new limerick.

He started off fine,

He understood rhyme,

But lost it at the end, not knowing how to end the poem and making it drag on too long, completely ruining the meter and the pace and possibly even ruining the entire challenge, the d!ck.

The poem above needs more care.

To submit it, how did I dare?

Truly ’twas awful,

Maybe unlawful,

I beg forgiveness, Uschibear.

My sentence hangs from the rafter;

There I’ll remain hereafter.

To me please be kind,

And may I remind:

The best medicine is laughter.

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Profile avatar image for Finder
Finder in Poetry & Free Verse
• 44 reads

Dear John

This feeling I get off of you

makes my brain a thunder cloud blue

perhaps we’d be better

to write you a letter

telling you with a flourish adieu.

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
scripts and scraps
Chapter 59 of 85
batmaninwuhan

The brick joke

there was a poor boy,his name’s Nick,

he was born with a terrible tick,

So a bridge he climbed up,

but not for to jump,

but to cast his bad luck with a brick

to be honest, i am all too ravenous,

my stomach is spacious and cavernous,

i eat to excess,

i make no pretence,

and so my shape’ is mostly gelatenous.

i have a young girl , she’s so cute,

she never holds still, she’ll soon scoot,

as already mentioned,

my weight and my penchant

so the running is not such a hoot.

some words, they fell into disuse,

like hoot and scoot and abacus,

but why should i mind,

the words left behind,

if my spelling is so outrageous.

my students, they can’t understand,

the words that i write, chalk in hand,

so instead , cards i make,

and let those brats take,

presentations with games to expand.

elevators hate me , they do,

i am not being paranoid, its true!

they avoid coming down ,

when they know i’m around,

it’s my weight , that they fear, i construe.

on the car hood there is a big dent,

it is sad and the car i lament,

if it wasn’t for Nick,

and his f**ing hard brick,

impacting the car in decent!

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Profile avatar image for Mac1
Mac1 in Poetry & Free Verse
• 50 reads

Incident in the Kitchen

There once was a kitchen rookie

Who took a microwave look-see

He put in some noodles

But was off by oodles

Smoke is a signal to boogie

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Profile avatar image for Notebook
Notebook in Poetry & Free Verse
• 49 reads

A Limerick: Breakfast for Dinner

Hurray, Hurray, Hurray! Now Open 24/7, yay!

All you can eat buffet: Breakfast all day!

Everyone leaves a winner:

chicken waffle for dinner!

Oh to bloat the bad times merry away!

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Challenge
Limericks
In this case, I hope everyone knows what a Limerick is. The more humorous the better. The more awful the better. If you have more than one, better still. I hope we can make each other laugh. As always, I'll read them all and then decide on the winner.
Profile avatar image for DrSemicolon
DrSemicolon in Poetry & Free Verse
• 14 reads

Covidiot

Mouthbreather anti-vaxer, Ike

Derided the pandemic spike;

Dispatched was his ass,

Eschewing the mask,

And his heart and two lungs alike.

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