Very Practical Ways to Cure Cabin Fever
1. Dampen a cloth with cool water and place it on your forehea… wait, wrong kind of fever.
1a. Dig a series of tunnels under your house. Maybe throw a bomb shelter in there while you’re at it. Why not? You have nothing else to do. All those underground tunnels will make it feel like you’re in another world without leaving the vicinity of your home. Maybe you’ll even find a secret society of dwarves.
2. You can go down, but you could also go up. Into the sky with tree-houses and catwalks and all kinds of phobia-inducing fun. If you’re scared sh*#less all the time, you won’t be bored!
3. Or if those things are too adventurous for you, you could just stay inside and shrink down to the size of an ant. Make sure to fill your bathtub before you do it, and install tiny ladders on all the stairs and counters before you shrink. Now you have your own obstacle course and giant swimming pool. Food will last forever and suddenly your house won’t feel so tiny and cramped.
4. Or if you prefer to keep your original size, you could harness that sci-fi power to travel to different dimensions. Maybe in some alternate world, your house is a mansion, or your backyard is filled with dinosaurs that never went extinct. There are endless possibilities. You won’t ever be bored, again!
5. Speaking of Dinosaurs, what about good old-fashioned time-travel? You can go back to the Cretaceous, Palaeolithic, Ice Age and more. Or jump forward and see what your house looks like in the future. Time will fly in every sense of the word!
Cabin fever hacks
suffering from the blues?
The world freezes over and you cant stand waiting a second more inside the house, only thst going out incolves getting pneumonia?
Here are 5 easy hacks to get over a cabin fever big time.
1) Dig a tunnel- its a good exercise, and possibly beneficial for the future. A well-dug tunnel keeps your mind occupied and your muscled well-toned. You will find new interest in ventilation, sourcing support beams from the furniture, and getting rid of all that pesky rubble.
2) Practice doing faces in front of the mirror- keep at it long enough, and the maniac you cunjour up will eventually take over, living you'trapped' inside a nice, warm mirror. Let that jerk go through the long winter instead of you.
3) write a novel without something crucial- no Ws? No adjectives? Everything abbreviated? Live the reader to wonder why?
4) get published! It's soooooo easy!!! Why, publishers are especially eager to find collections of short stories and poems. They just can't wait!!
5) catalogue every object in your house. Don't forget to add remarks on how it got there and by whom. For extra fun, and anticipating the collapse of civilization, intentionally write misleading comments to completely throw off future archeologists. That will teach them!!
So you’ve got cabin fever?
Here's five pro tips to help!
Are you stuck inside with your annoying family members or roomates? Are you really tired of them being the only faces around all day? Well have I got the solution for you: simply take any of that cruddy makeup you bought or received over the holidays, and a razor (electric would be best). All you have to do is wait till your roomate/family member is asleep, shave off the back of their hair, and use that makeup to make a brand new friend right on the back of your old one! Now whenever they're getting on your nerves you just walk behind them and talk to your new, better, friend.
If solution #1 isn't working for you, here's a great alternative: All you gotta do is take whoever has been bothering you, and tie 'em up - you could use duct tape, rope, whatever you got around the house! This way you can shut 'em up, and get them outta sight!
But maybe it's not the people bothering you so much as being stuck inside. Maybe you just don't like not being able to spend the day outside, sitting under a tree. Well here's a way you can spend the day outside without having to worry about the cold! Just buy hundres of space heaters, and set them up throughout your neighborhood, and anywhere else you want to go. Suddenly it's as hot outside as a summer day!
Or are you looking for a more permanent solution to these problems? I still got you covered! Here's all you have to do: get you and all your loved-ones a rocket ship, and build yourselves a brand new home on the surface of the sun. Your days will never be cold again!
That still doesn't work for you? You don't have access to a rocket ship? Well don't worry, I've got one more solution for you. It's simple really, all you have to do is wait for a nice perfect day come along, a day that you would want to last forever, and simply stop the rotation of the earth so that the day really does last forever. You'll never deal with being stuck inside again, you'll never have to deal with the cold again. Plus it doesn't require anything that costs money! All you need is the ability to control the movement and gravitational pull of all large objects in space - easy peasy!
"Cabin fever." There is a reason that Finder saw fit to put this ailment in quotes -- because it is an affliction that is in our mind. So the way to combat this "staying inside mania" is to think "outside." For example:
1. Go to the frosted window. Look outside. Say, "I wonder how the Detroit Tigers will do this summer." (Or fill in your town's baseball team.) Anybody cooped up with you can be part of your "hot stove" baseball league.
2. "Cabin fever trivia." Each person in cramped house has to come up with a different title or expression containing the word "cabin" or "fever." Examples: "Saturday Night Fever," "cabin pressure," "Uncle Tom's Cabin," "fever pitch")
3. Get out that deck of cards. Shuffle. Play solitaire while imagining you are on the picnic table on a summer evening. Have other "cabin fever" sufferers join you for double, triple or quadruple solitaire.
4. Swat imaginary mosquitoes. Do not care what others in the house say or do -- unless someone tries to commit you.
5. Belch and do not excuse yourself. Remember, you are thinking outdoors, the wide open outdoors.