Casuarina
sitting here, under this specimen,
i take a moment to breath,
there i go.
see? i can still breath.
some people can't.
run in the rain, they said,
it's not like we're made of salt.
it's not solubility i was worried about,
it's getting wet and damp.
but those that sent me,
dont think of these issues.
they know details of importance,
i guess,
how many...
what rate of..
the per unit cost...
they see topography as curvey lines,
that hug each other.
i see it as twisted ankles,
bruises,
hidden emplacments.
nothing ever changes.
the great hordes , barbarous,
the ones we got now.
they torture either way.
drink some water.
i spiced it up with tang,
but it was mango.
that is the reality of war:
mango flavored chlorinated water.
a far cry from the fruit,
a far cry from water,
a cry.
Cows walked here recently,
their dung fell in cakes,
that mysteriously look like,
a swirling galaxy.
how is it that this happens?
ketchup swirls as well,
when it is slathered.
of course human excrement,
or blood do not form swirls.
they just splatter.
underbthe Casuarina,
i think such thoughts.
disregarding the noises,
outside and in my ears.
having a picnic of sorts,
no one around ,
all gone or hiding like me.
well, i'm not really hiding.
hiding means i have hope,
to be concealed.
this sucks.
Simulation
Sitting on a cliff’s edge while staring at the sunset, a young woman thought to herself “How long has it been? 50 lifetimes? 60?” She stretched, stood up, grabbed her sword and the severed head next to her then jumped. “Look out below!” She screamed as she fell towards a camp of enemy soldiers.
As she descended towards the earth below her, she began to remember the events leading up to entering this hellish, never ending war. The time before her life with rivers of blood, fields of bodies and a severed head. Long before hatred filled her heart.
After being diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, Nerak looked for a way to extend her life, even if only by a few days. However, in the simulation program she found, she can live multiple lifetimes despite her illness. She agreed because she thought anything was better than wasting away to cancer. This was not what she really wanted though because upon being placed in the simulation the subject is essentially dead in their real life.
Truth is that she will probably never leave. The procedure to get into the simulation hardwires the system directly to the subject’s brain. Once this is completed it is nearly impossible to remove the wires without killing them. So anybody in the simulation is there voluntarily, knowing that they will never make it out alive. It usually doesn’t matter to the subject though because they must have a terminal illness or injury to join the program.
Knowing that she would’ve died anyway does not remove the hatred she has developed for this never ending war. After over 50 lifetimes, she just wants it to end.