First, find the summer heat. This can be accomplished by going outside, a task that is admittedly very hard and foreign to most people.
Second, determine whether or not it is the summer heat. If it feels uncomfortably hot all over when you step outside, that is probably the summer heat, though it could just be your yard on fire. Make sure you can determine the difference.
Third, go find a long stick. These are normally found by rivers or in your garage.
Fourth, pick up the stick. This requires determination, dedication, deliberation, and dexterity. Make sure you have all four before you attempt to pick it up or it could end rather badly for you.
Fifth, hit the summer heat with the stick. This will accomplish nothing, and will probably look stupid.
This has been 5 tips on how to beat the summer heat.
5 clever hacks to beat the summer heat
tired of the AC? ice cream doesnt do it for you? well, here are some suggestions that can take the edge of any heatwave..
1) live underground-
mole people have been breezing through the worst of summers, by just living their lives underground. conversly, you can go the other way and spend your time in the stratosphere, where the ambiant temperature is always below freezing. how can this be accomplished, may be debatable, but it is sure worth it.
2) install radiator vaines on your skin.
that's right folks, a simple oparation is all it takes, you'll be feeling the refreshing coolness as heat is tranferred out. speaking of refreshing yourself, if you are really in need of a good colling, the best thing is a well-chilled IV drip. oh you will savor the moments as coolness courses through your blood.
3) overturn a major foundation of human civilization.
it's not for naught that most wars break out in the summer. the moment of knowing you ruined the lives of millions sends a wonderful coolness down your spine.
4) dedicate yourself to the study and performance of elevator music.
nothing feels better than soft, derivative music. you hear its slow tempo, and enjoy its predictable harmony and melody. it all goes back to Home.. you'll struggling to restrain yourself from responding to the ringing voice in your head, saying "waiter, i'm sorry, but could you please bring me more bread sticks? my lady friend hadn't come yet.." expect no tips, just lije then. but the place was air conditioned to perfection.
5) watch certain movies bwckward and in slow motion.
films like 'Frozen' , 'Moana' , 'Lethal weapon II', and Ken Burns' 'Baseball' contain a cunning, little known bonus. sure, some of the films were downright upsetting, badly written, annoying, or could have covered more, but they may have this redeeming aspect. all you need to do is back, put on one of these filns in. just let it slowly play out from end to beginning. the chill comes as the rewinding starts unintelligably. it is not unknown why only these films produce such a reaction, but it has not been observed in any other film..
So, you've enrolled in a four week study abroad program taking classes you're excited for in a country you've always wanted to visit...Sounds like a dream come true, right? That's what you might think! But what happens when you arrive at your dream destination only to find that it's way hotter than you anticipated, and you've only brought pants because you don't like the way your shins look in shorts? Well, let me tell you the five simple tricks I employed when I found myself in this same situation:
1) Get COVID!
Now, there are a couple drawbacks to this strategy. For one, you'll have COVID. And two, you'll miss out on the academic, social, and basically every other component of the trip that involves leaving your room, on account of having to isolate for a week. BUT...staying inside for a week means beating the heat for a week. And it gives you an awful lot of time to catch up on Stranger Things.
4) Okay I'm bored now, this sucks. I'm ready to be hot again.
5) Pour a cooler of water over your head like they do to the coach at football games.
Pro Tips For Staying Cool This Summer From Roses311Sublime
1. Put on a chicken costume and sneak into a sit down restaurant. Head to the big freezer area and stay cool in your disguise. If someone becomes suspicious, start clucking and doing the chicken dance. That should throw them off your scent.
2. Get a human sized aquarium, fill it with water and stay in it. Put it on top of a wagon and have a trusted ally cart you around if you need to run errands. There are jobs where you can work from home, so it should be possible to find a job where you can work from your aquarium.
3. Go old school and play freeze tag with your friends. When you get caught, request not to be unfrozen. This should cool you down, eh?
4. Do lots of writing and develop a fan base. Find a few hardcore fans that are willing to surround you and fan you whenever you get hot. Whole new meaning to fans, right?
5. Dress cool. Like a leather jacket, black jeans and sunglasses. If you look cool, you'll feel cool, yes?
Five Cool Tips for Summer
It can be difficult to stay cool in the Summer, so today we at the Acme Chemical Company bring you these five helpful tips, let's go!
Number one, keep hydrated. Liquid hydration can take many forms such as water, iced tea, beer or even mixed drinks in moderation. And don't fall for the trap of only drinking overpriced bottled water when city fire hydrants provide all you can drink for free. So carry a fire hydrant wrench in the summer months so you will be ready when thirst strikes.
Number two, get naked. Yes, this may get you banned from the zoo or the public library, your comfort is more critical than any so-called rules, laws, or restraining orders. We are all born naked and anyone who tries to take away your right to be naked will hear from your lawyer; and since he will show up naked in all court appearances and proceedings, those in attendance will be convinced in the benefits of nudism in terms of keeping cool.
Number three, fans and airflow. Fans are everywhere if you use your imagination. Every car has two high speed electric fans that are just ripe for the taking and let's not forget that many airplanes are equipped with large efficient fans. So if you're hot, all it takes is a quick hop over a fence at the airport to catch the breeze from an Airbus or Boeing that's sitting at idle making a truly refreshing breeze.
Number four, that refreshing coolness you can find underground. People forget that the soil temperature thirty feet underground is always around fifty degrees, rain or shine. So with a shovel, backhoe or simple boring machine, the path to coolness is literally right under your feet.
And lastly, your friends at Acme Chemical are working on some amazing new products to keep you cool this summer. Acme has developed a new line of lotions and cremes packed with special ingredients to keep you cool. These new UltraCool line of products contain a patented mixture of barium hydroxide and ammonium chloride; big words you say, but these products lower your body temperature by as much as one hundred degrees on a hot day. See the product links below to get a special discount code to try a sample of UltraCool today.
Just remember, there's no need to lose your cool when trying to keep cool, it just takes your imagination with a little help from Acme Chemical.
5 Tips to Beat Summer Heat...
1. Make sure your thermostat is set to a cool comfortable number ... well until the bill arrives then adjust your thermostat to a number that makes you ask the question, "Is it cooler in here or out there?" I just received my electric bill for June and I broke out in a sweat just looking at the amount!
2. Living in Texas is wonderful - ask any Texan - we will so tell you, even if you don't ask odds are we will still tell you. Mild mild wonderful winters where you can wear shorts...but our summers are not for the faint of heart. So, I would say dress accordingly to the heat...but use caution because not wearing clothes is frowned upon and considered indecent exposure.
3. When you step out to get the mail...make sure no neighbors are out because if they are then you need to take a water bottle with you because you don't want to pass out while "visiting".
4. Keep your freezer stocked...Blue Bell...for those that know - no explanation is necessary.
5. Pray for Fall...or if in Texas pray for winter since summer basically lasts six months.
What's hotter than the sun?... Nothing!! So when you're in it, you gotta wear protection, er, um, I mean, use protec..., um, not that either... you gotta try not to overheat or get sunburned, yeah. With these summer fun tips, you can be sure you are not falling victim to the suns harsh rays!
Rule #1-Fruits and Veggies-while this may seem like a no-brainer to always EAT your fruits and veggies, there is more to do with this little vitamin packs. Gather watermelon and cucumber, slice them really thin, then lay down, naked of course, and grab a friend or trusted (or in the very least, super hot and sexy) individual and have them cover your entire body in a single layer. Nature can be very refreshing. Be sure to avoid lemons, oranges, limes or anything super acidic- those can be hard on the skin
Tip#2-Sweatsuit (the workout kind that is plastic that you wear to make you sweat).
Sure, this doesn't seem to make much sense but keep reading. Okay, so put on the sweat suit, duck tape the bottoms of the legs and arms near the hands and feet. Zip it almost all the way up, leaving a small gap around your neck. Go into your kitchen, fill a pitcher with ice, then water. Pour the contents into the sweat suit until it goes up to your shoulders. Then zip all the way up. (Duck tape neck if it starts to leak,
Option3: Backpack Recharger- Have you seen those backpacks that have a usb recharger built in them? Well buy one of those. Then go buy one of those mini USB fans. Put on the back pack, plug in the fan, and WALLAH! ***Make sure if you have long hair, you wear it up when using this idea- can you imagine the mess you would have if your hair made its way into the fan. Oh, no.
Four--Air Conditioner- DUH! buy an AC. if you can't afford one, steal one off your neighbor's roof- just don't fall off. And you have to do it at night because they would notice it during the day if it suddenly turned off, in that case you better be pretty fast or have Superman come help you
Fifth; Move. That's right, they say if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. So if you are too lame to handle the heat, get your ass to Alaska or something. The last thing we need is to hear you complaining that its "too hot". Whining little baby.
Five (and a half) Tips, but Who’s Counting? It’s Hot!
When you're at home
if you're alone,
don't put stuff on;
Don't be a rube.
Tie an ice cube
under each arm.
What could it harm?
Plant one or two
into each shoe.
Freeze your nethers!
Or better yet,
don't break a sweat!
(Was there a doubt?)
Eat something chill.
might do the trick.
will cool you off.
Or try a bisque.
What could you risk?
You really ought
to think cool thoughts.
Just settle down.
Hot flashes drown ...
with an iced tea ...
Raise up a flask ...
(Do you need ask?)
of ale or wine.
Fill up that stein!
Cool from within.
Vodka (or gin?)
Then plunge your feet
in cool grape skins.
When you're at home
if you're alone,
don't put stuff on ...