Do not poke with sharp sticks

My stick is sharper.

Do not be fooled by my armor

I am easily broken.

Do not disregard me

I have hidden value.

Do not damage me

I have long memory capacity.

Do not fear me

I was created to serve.

The fabled curiosity-killed cat dwells here now in her ninth life, pampered frequently by succulent offerings. She purrs as you approach and read the warning:

Trespassers shall be sniffed, licked, cosseted, and subjected to intrusive mind-fondling.

Warning: Will eat chocolate and there may be stains in places you didn’t think would be possible. True story: chocolate found it’s way behind her ear.

Warning: has an unpredictable laugh- it can start as a low bass thudding out a low “haha” to then sound like a piccolo, then possibly a wheezing windpipe and finally she might end in a snort… nobody knows (least of all her).

Warning: sings harmony to every goddamn song that comes on the radio even if she doesn’t know the words… she will find a way to sing.

Warning: is fiercely loyal. She may seem sweet, but she will protect her own. I will leave that up to your interpretation…

Warning: sometimes she feels so sad she doesn’t know why or where it comes from. Let her cry, she’ll release the excess and be okay :)

If you pull my leg

I will kick

The other one is bionic

If you want a hug

just ask

I give warmth and love

If you think you can slip by

Ponder this

I am not blind

If you inflict gleeful pain

I am strong

You will pay for it

If you are my friend

I am loyal to the end

If I am writing

Interrupting is deadly

If I am reading

I am deaf to all

Even a siren's call

And when I go out

and walk about

That crutch you see

is a weapon free

Experiment if you dare

love is my weakness

when given with care

Take me as I am

For I have finished

fixing me!

WARNING This Person Radiates a Magnetic Field shown to Effect Cognitive Dissonance in others.

DO NOT APPROACH or INTERACT without Testing at Genius Level Intelligence Quotient.

NEVER ASK What They Think; about You, your Friends and Family, or your religious or political delusions.

WAIT UNOBTRUSIVELY for them to Notice You, and Remain Calm.

DO NOT INTERRUPT them under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Rapid and Irreversible Destruction of Self Concept may occur.

This person has a lot of emotional baggage.

This person suffered.

In middle school they had one toxic friend.

Who nearly ripped apart their friendships apart...

twice.

In high school

They had a director who only found issues.

They had a friend who nearly died.

They had a different toxic friend.

Now this broken soul has

a hard time trusting people,

Perfectionism,

and Anxiety.

This is a warning,

This person is breakable.

BEWARE! The following are risk for approaching this little lump of cotton:

Bilingual eXpResSiOnS: you might be bombarded with culturally different reference and words, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED (directly translated).

Thoughts are most of the time, OCCUPIED: Just a sec, I keep getting distracted, forgot what I'm supposed to say. (Edited 47+ times)

Pessimism to its finest with a little douse of sunshine: you might be one day talking to a positive pessimist.

Still a little lump of cotton (was told I'm a sadist(?))—soft and fluffy: CAREFUL, you might inhale something. It won't be good for your health in a long run.

Didn't see some walls? Me neither: Why're you there though? Come closer?

You'll become an emotional trash dump—also randomly ruins your day during the time when this cotton's in a rainy mood: Don't be close enough, stay there.

Living contradiction: ...not really!

YOU MAY NOW PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Maybe I should have come with a manual.

A book of instructions explaining how to handle me.

a guide to understand every tone and the meaning behind every different smile.

A warning label that stated " enter her heart by your own risk"

I am not the usual, typical girl...

I overthink...

always weigh the bad above the good.

always waiting for disappointment.

I get cranky, and have days I just want to exist and not live.

Sleep is my favorite luxury.

I have numerous flaws and sometimes insecurities controls my day.

I am not made for everyone. I need to be reminded of your love atleast 100 tims a day.

I mean

I‘m all for

political correctness

maybe even

Elon Musk

taking back

his Twitter deal

my only

stipulation

is you don’t

bother me

before coffee

climbing the

corporate ladder

like a monkey

seeking bananas

emails with false

sincerity

like Lil Nas X said

can’t nobody tell

me nothing