Dust in the Wind
2022 passed away mercifully once the death was called and the machines that had provided its heart and soul since its sickly birth were unplugged. Born out of an oppressive eternity of lingering pandemic fears, a thin and weak 2022 suffered each day from the weariness of universal distrust, separation anxiety and an inability to thrive.
Left alone with just a zoom nanny still masked up, it learned nothing and found the new normal an exercise in the cancerous malignancy of depressive nothingness. 2022 was rumored to be one of humanity’s last, choked, flooded, burned, plagued with wars, hatred, division, divisiveness, left teetering of the edge of eroded embankment the angry ocean waiting for high tide to come and sweep it away…yet the year hung on to it sad forgettable costly end adding nothing, taking much, leaving us all worst for it having existed.
2022 leaves no direct decedents futile finger swipes and lonely midnight tappings incapable of procreation. No memorial is planned, thought and prayers need not be said. 2022 having never risen from dust will simply blow away into nothingness of its own accord. Memorials can be sent to 2023. Cash donations only, no crypto.
Farewell to Yesterday
2022 will be laid to rest at 11:59pm on December 31st.
It will be revised by his relative 2023, 12 months, and 365 days.
In loving memory of 2022, a million beautiful babies were born. And a million beautiful children are gone. The average working man, made more money, while the average politician doubled the prices. It was a year of confusion and stability was a dream. The average family home was budging at the seams. People are scared to buy cars because gas is so high. Covid was controlled down to one house per neighborhood. 2022 and our ex president brought violence to a whole new high. And trafficking is ignored by the eye in the sky. Wal-Mart became the place to release all of your pain. No not shopping, just for going insain. 2022 will be missed by a million families that lost their love ones while the year was departing. May God bless everyone that struggled through this year, and all of our Angel's that fell victim to 2022 demise.
Earth, Milky Way. It is with deep sorrow that we mourn the passing of 2022, CE.
2022 arrived full of hope and anticipation, excited to see what people would accomplish with the gift she provided: a new beginning. Every day for 365 days, she offered the chance to be. To become. To do. To do more. To do better.
Some grasped opportunity with both hands to improve, to march steadily if slowly towards a goal, a dream, a life well-lived. Perhaps, to ease another's pain and suffering. To foster, cultivate another's development towards their best self.
A few sought to fullfull a fleeting sense of power, celebrity, dominance, rather than seek to do good for themselves or others. Frequently, their actions spawned evil, harm.
Others were passive observers of their own lives due to fear, laziness, or a mere lack of motivation or ambition.
By the end, 2022's expectations had withered on the vine of hope.
2022 CE leaves behind a population of over 7.8 billion along with innumerable species, some proliferating, others sliding towards extinction. She is survived by her newborn sibling, 2023 CE, to whom she wished godspeed as she joined all those who preceded her into oblivion.
In lovin' memory...
Here is the link to the online google (documented) Obituary:
It is with a joyful heart that we celebrate the year of 2022. We rejoice in the passing of this year because of what it gave us. A baby was born. She was the child of a mother in Africa. He was the son of a farmer in Guatemala. The elderly grandparents in New York were granted their wish.
We ask that everyone who experienced joy in knowing 2022, share a moment of silence to give thanks for the gifts we were given.
Thoughts and prayers preferred in lieu of flowers.
Born: January 1st, 2022
Died: December 31st, 2022
It was an adventuresome soul. A risk taker, it banned choice for women all over America, forcing them to consider a different path.
It spawned new epidemics, although unable to force the world into lockdown with these RSV threats to children, and the elderly. It didn't particularly care about marginalized men when it threw Monkey Pox into the mix. Influenza was proud to help his old friend.
A torturous war is the culmination of its great accomplishments. Nations look over their shoulders, as it honors its forebearer, 1945 by bringing the cold war back into focus once more.
Its single surviving child, December is left with the task of clearing 2022's name. It blames mankind for all its woes and requests donations to help.
Please find the correct Go Fund Me to apply your funds most appropriately.
Funeral will be held in the United Nations Building, on January 6th, 2023. Please be prepared to speak a few kind words about its great legacy.
Twenty twenty-two 1. Jan. 2022 - 31. Dec. 2022
In Memory of Twenty twenty-two who was born on January 1st 2022 and sadly passed on 31st December 2022. The beloved child of single parent Twenty twenty-one, she was welcomed into this world to great fanfare. The first breath she took filled with hope and optimism, not a cloud in the winter sky, dreams dreamt, promises made, cheers echoed in the air.
During her short turbulent life, Twenty twenty-two touched billions around the world. She witnessed the end and resurgence of a pandemic, the economic downturn that ensued, the beginning of a war on European soil (once again), the bursting of crypto bubbles, climate change once-in-a-century now once-in-a-decade events, the continuous rise in inequality. Despite the challenges, she fought with all her might to bring us joy and planted the seeds to a better future for us all. May we continue to support the brave souls fighting injustice, the caretakers of our society and of our planet, and the ones less fortunate. And may we grow in love and tolerance for each other… always.
Twenty twenty-two is survived by her only son Twenty twenty-three who will carry on her legacy.
Hasta la Vista, Imbalanced Water Tiger
With profound happiness, we inform you of the death of Year Two Thousand and Twenty-two (a topsy-turvy turtle, a good year to make the pandemic endemic or so some people say, Year of the Water Tiger where most tragedy in my country came from the water) on December 31, 2022, 11:59 pm.
May this awfully imbalanced year take a peaceful rest with all the evil, sad and boring things it brought to my life. It never went easy but I hope it will not be here again for the next few years to come. I am the happiest person to end this atrociously distressing terrible year. May the next year, be a lot lighter
and make my life easier. (But that would not possibly come true since our government at this time is not a good one.)
Year of regrets and despair,
You repeatedly mock and taunt.
I vehemently beg you to depart
Flee, nevermore return to torture us.
You swooped in with a raging vengeance
And took all that your anger desired,
Leaving much destruction in your wake.
May you move forward, leaving us
In humble solitude and reflection.
And may the ensuing year be filled
Only with those things contrary to your pain
And may we grow so that we heal and prosper,
Allowing us to forget the depths of your sadness.
It'd be a lie if we said how saddened we are by the loss we will be dealing with in a matter of weeks. Surely we can't be that hypocritical!
The year 2022 should be laid to rest, and it will rest (or rot) for eternity, never to see the light again.
It can't go through reincarnation, thankfully. Such a relief.
The funeral is, as one might imagine, an unpleasant yet necessary state of affairs. How else are we going to be sure that the evil spawn is dead?
The will was going to be read after the funeral, but we saw what it left behind, didn't we? That's more than enough to last us a lifetime.
Rot in eternal hell, 2022. Let's hope 2023 won't disgrace your family any further.