We are trapped in a room with Susi_Trash, who wields a blood-dripping, 12” dagger in either hand while spinning, twirling and slashing them ninja-like. ”One more comment with a freakin’ <3 heart and I’ll kill the stupid man!!!”

As I look around me, I swallow hard; Mariah, dctezcan, Mnezz, and MeeJong.

I am in real trouble here!

aka Blair Witch Project III (the lost film)

The blood red moon foretold great evil in the woods that night. With fire in their hearts they set up camp. More specifically, Lady Prose set-up camp to the soundtrack of the Flame Lord's clickety clacking on the keyboard. Click clack. Click clack. Clickety clack. Click clack. The slightly off-beat rhythm of a white man. Figures he would type like he dances.

She shook the smile from her lips but couldn't keep the shine out of her eyes. "Flame Lord, I summon you to the fire pit!" Click clack. Click clack. Clickety clack. Crackety crack. Although he was shrouded in darkness, that last crackety crack betrayed his approach. "Yes milady?"

"Start the fire, won't you?"

"It won't keep the beast away, you know."

"I'm not scared of any beast. I have some poetry I would like to burn. Also, I have some marshmallows."

"How big do you want it?"

"As big as you can get it." The Flame Lord swallowed his "that's what she said" and proceeded to build the fire. Lady Prose wandered over to the typewriter and let her fingers dance over the keys. Before she knew it, she had a new poem to burn.

Suddenly, the woods became eerily silent. The fire crackled and the night air picked up and began to howl around her, though nary a leaf rustled. A purple bucket was placed at her feet. TheWolfeDen. Of course. Lady Prose caught the glint of the guillotine blade in the firelight and immediately knew she was not going to be invited to brunch next.

The wind shifted and revealed the presence of putski, thePearl and Shells ready to witness the execution. "Any final words?" TheWolfeDen intoned in strangely sultry timbre.

"Let me just change into something more comfortable."

aka the Party Mix

Lady Prose stepped into the tent as the Flame Lord continued his typing with the Clickety Clack. Clickety Clack. Clickety Clack. His eyes took on a mad gleam and his white teeth shone in an insanely evil grin.

”What’s he typing?” The Wolf Den asked.

putski looked over his shoulder to see the bizarre phrase repeated ad nauseam. “All work and no play makes the Flame Lord want to burn things. All work and no play makes the Flame Lord want to burn things.”

The tent flap lifted and MeeJong stepped out, but her body was covered with green scales, her eyes had become golden, her teeth sharp, and two massive wings extended from her back. She’d become a dragon.

The Wolf Den and her companions took several steps back as the Flame Lord stood beside MeeJong. His skin had also become scaly green and he also had huge dragon wings. Flames shot out of his eyes and mouth as he and MeeJong said in unison. “Come play with us. Come play with us. Forever and ever and ever…”

”Oh shit” Shells muttered.

The Wolf Den started to convulse. Long gray hair grew out of every inch of her body as her snout extended and sharp teeth grew. She howled at the moon as putski, the Pearl, and Shells also became werewolves. They showed their claws and prepared to pounce. “Oh we’d love to play with you” the Wolf Den said.

”Wait” MeeJong said. “I don’t think you understand what I meant when I said come play with us.” She produced two bottles of bourbon with a grin as the Flame Lord pulled out a huge joint and a lighter.

The Wolf Den smiled. “Now we’re talkin’”

And a black snake slithered towards them and in a puff of smoke, took the form of a beautiful woman. “Am I late to the party?” Mamba asked.

And the seven of them sat around the camp fire, drank and smoked, and talked about women with three nipples, midget clown porn, creative ways to commit suicide, and which arch villains they wanted to fuck. And the only things that were killed were six bottles of bourbon and an ounce of weed.

The End

Or is it?

In shadows deep, a girl is trapped,

Within the realm of darkness, she's enraptured.

A horror movies cruel embrace,

Her life entwined in a chilling chase.

Through haunted halls, she tiptoes light,

Her heart, a drum, beats with fright.

Eyes wide, she scans the twisted scenes,

In search of clues to break the fiendish schemes.

The clock ticks on, relentless time,

Each moment echoes a mournful chime.

To escape this nightmarish plane,

She must uncover the killer's name.

Within the maze of secrets masked,

She must unravel the web, unasked.

A tapestry woven in shadows and lies,

Where truth and illusion intertwine and arise.

The night's fog thickens,

obscures her way,

Yet she persists,

with the courage to stay.

Through blood-stained trails and corridors dim,

She inches closer to exposing the grim.

Each victim's plea is etched in her mind,

Their silenced cries, she's now aligned.

Their spirits guide her on this perilous quest,

To unveil the killer's true, wicked crest.

In dusty tomes and forgotten lore,

She seeks the truth, that's hidden at its core.

Ancestral whispers guide her through,

Unveiling secrets old and true.

With trembling hands and a racing heart,

She pieces together a sinister chart.

Each clue, a brushstroke in her desperate fight,

To solve the puzzle and emerge into light.

But danger lurks, ever near,

The killer senses her growing fear.

A cat-and-mouse game through the night,

As she battles shadows, with all her might.

As dawn approaches, a glimmer of hope,

She uncovers the truth, the killer's scope.

A revelation that pierces the veil,

The face beneath is a chilling detail.

The girl faces her foe with might,

A final battle in the fading night.

Through sheer will, she conquers her dread,

Unmasking the killer with strength she's bred.

The horror movie's grip now released,

The girl emerges, her heart at peace.

For in the darkness, she found her light,

In the depths of fear, she claimed her might.

A survivor, strong and brave,

She walks away from the killer's grave.

A story etched in tales untold,

Of a girl who defied, and broke the mold.

So let her tale be heard and known,

A symbol of resilience that's grown.

In every horror, strength resides,

And the power within, it never hides

It’s 6:55 on March 21st and I am hiding in the back of a Tesla car dealership. Five minutes until the Purge starts and all crimes become legal. Anticipation is dripping out of me; I am going to the Purge right. The government started the Purge because of high crime rates and unemployment. They wanted the citizens of America to get their animalistic side all in one night, in hopes that it would lower crime rates for the rest of the year. This year I am going to be participating in the annual Purge, but instead of letting out my animalistic side. I am going to steal everything and by the end of the night I’m going to be rich. The clock struck 7 and the emergency broadcast started playing. I zoned out for most of it but became more alter when it said the closing stamen “May God be with you all.”

I hopped into one of the Tesla’s and started going around the streets. It made me feel alive experiencing driving a car I otherwise couldn’t have afforded if it wasn’t for the purge. That was one I started going to one of the richest neighborhoods in town. They thought they were untouchable, so they didn’t even have a proper security system. It was easy to rob them they never saw it coming, they were defenseless and when I asked for jewelry, money, a code to their safes, they didn’t even argue. Once that was done, I felt so much lighter. I was rich and no longer did the higher elites have all the power. I drove and kept on driving no longer wanting to be in the United States when the Purge was over.

The Purge causes destruction and death but for me it gave me a new life. A fresh start. It made the playing field even. No longer was it only the rich that could get away with crime but, everyone. I was glade I finally got the last laugh.