Wishes (The Grown-Up Version//cliff notes remix) feat. “Us”
To know you
Get to that place
Where no one else can go.
To visit you there
Hold your feelings
Side by side
Fight for our lives.
Be a little less
Empty inside.
Can't cure our broken bits
Will still come up short
As we tally our hits
Wronged by the miss.
But in an instant
Hope finds an instance
Meet your eyes
No words
As our Souls reflect.
My wish
That solid Truth
You have me
And I have you.
Around us
The Universe swarms
Vast is the darkness
Cold and unknown.
But never again
Will we be unfound
And alone.
The places you will go, when you’re left all alone
My heart performs a tune so few may hear,
A quiet violin whispering passionately in the ear.
The trees sing along but even they are distant,
Myself, alone, the only thing that’s consistent.
The piano keys quicken, giving way to the night,
As the stars lay dying, falling from light,
and darkness beckons me forward in fright.
The harp strikes harshly showing all that’s infected,
Harmonizing a tune of what’s self-neglected,
Myself, the cause for what self-abandoning affected.
As the silence falls, encapsulating my soul,
I collapse under the weight of my own black hole.
I try to see the shadows that make me whole,
But with each thump of the bass, my demons rush forward.
Left all alone, panicked, and cornered,
Myself, exposing how I feel tortured.
Deeper I dig into an eternal abyss,
Listening for the lessons of all that‘s amiss.
The symphony mellows, the thundering dismissed.
Myself, the conductor, of all I remiss.
With each epiphany that I unearth,
Alone is the place I learn my worth,
Accept myself, and with it rebirth.
ALONE
There was no breast from which to suckle
There was no hand to pat my back
There was no counting during hide-and-seek
Of playdates and parties I did not speak
There was no aisle to walk down
No hand for me to hold
At breakfast and at super
My heart grew hard and cold
In daylight and in darkness
My own breath sounds filled my ears
At twilight and at sunset
At the solitude I cursed
And when the end of life drew near
Reflection my only goal
I looked in the rearview mirror
Dark and Empty met my eyes
Relationships I had not known
I had wasted all my time
When at the pearly gates I stood
I knocked but no one answered
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Were nowhere to be found
Through eternity I would venture
Unescorted in the clouds
Who are you waiting for?
Who are you waiting for?
O my heart, and why?
Silence is forever,
Loneliness is nigh.
Nobody cares for you...
Or for me
Then why do we cry?
Why do you dream of nights past?
Why do I make the memories last?
Be it a bed of roses...
Or of thorns
Our fate is to yield and sleep.
Let go of ties that bind us
And leave the liaisons behind us.
Your happiness, my heart,
Has always been
A cause for me to weep.
Who can you call your own truly?
To Who can I relate dearly?
There's no one to share this agony.
So, who are you waiting for?
O my heart, and why?
Silence is forever
Loneliness is nigh.
By myself
Why do I feel most alone
In the company of other people?
In a crowded room
Or bustling hall
Or on the couch with my lover
Now that no-one is around
It's different, it is merely the absence of people
Their noise and their smells
Their clothes and words
Their warmth and their coldness
But with them I feel
the void yawn before me
Inky, cold darkness
Filled with spiky things
And jagged feelings
I feel how I am different
Like my brain is strangely wired
Like all the words are beating at the door
Growling to be set forth
To do their wicked work
People make me unquiet
And yet I crave them
The mess, the warmth
The conversation, the drama
The many different smells
I crave them and yet
The sweetest moment is when
I leave, or they do
And serenity returns
To my private garden
Then I am alone
With the tangle of my thoughts
Which are sometimes wild
And violent
Maybe they kick and bite
But they are mine
No someone else's
My pain, my doubt
My own loathing
All my own
To be alone can be torture
Or it can be blissful peace
The absence of ripples
On the pond of my psyche
Perhaps, some days - even solitude
Alone
is deceptive
as that (by-my-self)
is inaccurate
the 'we,' dispossessed
and self, associative
at best ...
my mind's
so far gone
I cannot begin
to say how long
or how come,
save the distance
between my
and self
has become
protracted,
and when it
happened
well
I'd
also like to know
and that thought
will not leave me
(alone)
06.27.2024
Alone challenge @dctezcan
Alone
Alone,
that's all I feel.
An empty pit of loneliness
stretched out before a meal.
Yet,
I cannot eat.
I stare and stare at the delicious feast
but I know it is not for me.
It is for others,
those that have never starved.
Those that live their lives
in the glamour of a bar.
It's not for me,
I tell myself its ok.
It's ok that I can't tell anyone
what I want to say.
Its ok
that my first language doesn't feel like my own,
Its ok
that those who want to hurt me
call me home
Its ok
I can't communicate
without shaking my hands.
Its ok
that I relate to the villain
and never really have a plan.
I hope its ok to be different,
to be lost in a crowd,
to know you're alone
no matter how many people are around.
I hope its ok
to feel what I feel
because I have finally convinced myself
that every single part of it
is real.
The alone nights, seeing things beyond the stars.
The days when I don't want to think about it anymore!
Those times where I don't want anything but to go to bed,
but I sit there
and stare
at a screen
instead......
Those days where I wake up and everything is pain, when I stay silent and just wait for the end of the day. I don't tell a soul, what happens in my mind. All the shattered glass and figments inside. Everything is breaking in the eclipse of time. Moment to moment reality unwinds. Everything dwindles into decline. I sit alone now, as I have many times before. Slowly going insane from the inventions of war.
A|one
Not only,
but Also
We are
all In,
at this
Poker Table.
And point
Blank,
it's all
the Same
Alone
A/one
We are
all assured
the House
will win!
Whoever deals
or what Card
is played,
what extra Ace
is slipped, or
Mortal bet
is placed:
We're all in
till the End
and it's All
the same
One Table
turning, crackling
and All is one
all One and
the same,
a Conjunction
We throw
hands up
or we throw
Our hand in
It's all the Same
It's all and None
Much like
"apart"
but with
earned Scar,
a Slash for where
we Fought,
for a Way
Out from,
Draw back.
A Silent Voice
A silent voice falls on inattentive ears:
Pleas for recognition of her persisting pain.
No one hears her cries,
Though she stands directly before them.
No one notices the crystal tears
Bleeding incessantly out her eyes,
As though a veil has chosen
To eternally enshroud her from existence.
A silent voice calls out to the wind,
Echoing a soundless symphony
Of sharply woven tears.
But only the reflections of her own misery
Echo back to counter her tune,
The winds failing to respond in kind.
A silent voice murmurs a muted prayer
And waits without expectation
For the noiseless abyss to take her in.
But even the insatiable vacuum
Ceases to open its maw in comforting hunger.
And so she withdraws herself into her cocoon
And gently closes her lips:
Perhaps she is inexorably fated
To suffer alone in ceaseless silence.