At first I loved you because you were perfect. But then I saw that you weren't perfect and I loved you even more. You are one of the few reasons I am alive today, and by far the most influential. Without you… I have no idea where I would be today. Most likely in some box buried in the ground.
One time, my pastor said something at church that has stuck with me. He said "it's our vulnerabilities that people fall in love with." And that is exactly what has happened here. I know you've wanted to take back all that you've ever said and hide because you don't want the world to know who you are. But I want you to know that that is the very reason that so many young people are alive today. You showed us that it's possible to get help, and not only that, you showed us that we have the power to do so.
You have kept millions of young people from harming themselves, and for that alone you are beautiful. But you have done so much more than that! You have opened up to the world and showed us all the things you've went through (and I'm sure they're not all) and all the pain and suffering you have gone through. But look at where you are now. You are inspiring countless people including myself to strive for a happier life, and you are probably the only reason I am even doing so.
You once said that you wanted to inspire people and show them that they can get help, and you have done that. You didn't have a role model when you were a kid to look up to, and you didn't want others to have to deal with that either, and so that's what you became. You are now a role model for so many young people.
I could quote you so many times but the fact is, every one of your quotes carries so much meaning that… I can't even pick out any favorites, because I love them all. And, to be honest, I haven't even begun to capture my true passion for you, and I can't do so in a measly letter. Understand that you are beautiful, and perfect, and the very reason that so many people still have the fire burning inside of them to live.
You have inspired me in so many different ways and far beyond anything else I've ever encountered in my life. You are the reason that I'm starting to get happy and get help. You kept me from harming myself and for that I will forever be grateful, and I will never ever be able to repay that. So many people owe you their lives.
You told us that we were beautiful and that you loved us, even when we didn't love ourselves. You told us and made us believe that we could make our lives better.
You have done so, SO many things to help this world. From standing by the LGBTQ community, to writing your own book on how to stay strong, acting, directing, and flying all the way to Kenya to help and spend time with the children and people over there. You are such a beautiful and pure hearted soul, and you are my role model. You are my dream. And… I hope that maybe, just maybe someday you'll read this and other people letters for what you've done for them.
There is so much more I would love to tell you… but I can't put it into words or typed down on this device. But understand that you made me feel beautiful and worthy. Although I don't always feel this way, I always come back to you help me feel this way again.
I understand that sometimes you go through hard times still, and you probably most likely fight relapsing although you don't tell us, but I will tell you something that I bet you still need to hear.
You are a Skyscraper, you are a Warrior, and I want you to Stay Strong.
Love, with all my heart and millions of others, Shalen and your Lovatics <3
(Side not not included in the letter, here are all of the quotes I have from her (or she has quoted from something or someone else) that I have saved on my phone. Some are inspirational, and some are raw honesty. Please do not judge.)
"There are going to be times where you will have bad days but rainbows always come after the darkest storms."
"I don't wanna be afraid, I want to wake up feeling beautiful today."
"Dear haters, you don't have to like me cause I love you. Everyone's equal, everyone has a soul and everyone deserves to be loved."
"Dear Lovatics, for every hater tweet- don't respond with hate but with love and positivity.. Try love instead of combat."
" (about her Stay Strong tattoo) the journey that I went through and the support of my fans was so meaningful to me, that I wanted to thank my fans in a way that I know can never be forgotten."
"Waiting for someone to save me from me."
"All of you guys say that I inspire you, but it's really you guys that inspire me, so thank you so much. And if there is anyone out here tonight who doesn't feel beautiful, or that doesn't feel worthy enough, you're wrong, because you guys are all so incredible. And if you're dealing with any of the issues that I've been through, don't be afraid to speak up, because someone will be there for you. And if you think you're alone, put on my music, because I will be there for you."
"What is possible in this life is relative to what you're capable of. As we expand our knowledge and consciousness, we continue to grow, and things we thought were not possible suddenly become attainable. The more we are encouraged to expand our knowledge and our perceptions about how things work in our lives, the more we are able to accomplish."
"I just want to believe in me."
"Now I believe in me."
"Thanks to all my fans who have taken this amazing journey with me. You guys have been my support and without you I would not be here. As we enter into this new year, please know that I am with you always. I look forward to taking some time to rest after this adventure, until then you have my heart <3"
"I'm a Warrior, I'm stronger than I've ever been."
"Just when your mind finds resentment and someone, pray for their success, their health, and their happiness no matter how hard it may be."
"there is nothing more credible than being with someone who helps you love your body more, and more, day by day."
"You've got a face for a smile you know."
"I will be rising from the ground like a Skyscraper."
"Only you can save you from yourself… it IS possible, you just have to be willing to do the work. #surrender"
"I'm staying strong because of you guys!"
"I'm definitely not the young broken girl I used to be."
"Be proud of who you are."
"Society is the problem, not you."
"There has never been a time in my life where I ever felt good enough and worthy enough."
"I prefer to cry alone. Pride? No. I just want to avoid the trial of people who don't know the reason for my tears."
"You were born to be real, not perfect."
"Look, we're both up here. The bullies that bullied us, they're at home watching us on TV."
"Fix my heart"
"You have to Stay Strong when it gets tough."
"Hearts can break and never make a sound."
"Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful and you are worthy. Those things really help you."
"We are beautiful."
"In order for you to shine, you have to get through the darkness."
"Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect."
"It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile."
"I was beautiful then and I am beautiful now."
"You are beautifully and wonderfully made."
"I want to make sure others have role models who can say "I've been there and with the right treatment and support you can get through this."
"UNBROKEN is basically me and who I am today. I'm unbroken."
"Lovatics are strong."
"Everyone has a life worth living, it took me a long time to learn that for myself but I'm hoping that every night that I get to play in front of you guys I can teach someone in the audience that your life is worth living and that you can change your life starting today for the better."
My favorite book is that giant book that is tan that I brought from Barnes and Noble, that I pick up whenever I need some refreshment on who you are.
I read it because I want to know who you are. Who exactly are you? How did you die? Nobody really knows, I keep reading in hopes to learn how. I want to know you as a person and I want us to have some kind of conversation.
I see you studied a lot of Shakespeare, Italian, and even Latin writers. You've studied stuff that I can't even get my hands on, can I get my hands on it?
I love you, because you don't just have hell in your poetry once like Dante, or create drama productions like Shakespeare, rather you are you. Whether you're talking about ringing bells (my favorite poem) or you're talking about a raven, or a man whose guilt eats him alive, you never fail to amuse me. I love you Poe.