It started with vodka and your aroma of fresh bread,

frozen stones of dirty streets melted in open pools.

I wanted, yes yearned, to pitch tents with you

in the blaze of midnight sun and the scent of rain.

I wanted you as my igniting spark with ember words.

I felt drawn and impassioned to give myself to you -

a drunken state with liquor bottles reflected on night stands,

breathing and moving together in well rehearsed symphony

as I waited for you to be close enough to stroke my hair,

a touch to reaffirm my existence and worth as a human being.

I felt sheltered in my naked skin as I let you come in

alone, together, promising only to be one night friends.

I begged you to be my shadow soul mate singing tipsy love songs.

The next morning, minus you, I remembered the drunken sex,

sweaty lust and wet passion engraved on shards of my mind -

the pieces left behind while I returned to my own bed alone,

awakening to begin my search, once again, for a heartbeat.

There are times

In the early morning hours

When all I hear

Is the beat of the train

Rolling on the train tracks

I let my guard down

And think of you

I think about what could have been

And think about what was

And wonder

How real was it?

I put my guard back up

Roll over

And put my arms around

What is

I lay upon this bed now

Mascara stains my eyes

Seduction lies next to me

And waits for me to rise

Wine stains in the glasses

Like cuts from the night before

When my thoughts were crystal clear

And I opened every door

She turns to face me now

With that sexy black cherry grin

Eyes like emerald fires

Laced with the purist of the sins

The clouds burn a bright, bright red

But the sky burns a deeper hue

On this carnal stage

Where the performer is only you

Everything here is a misunderstanding

And compassion creates a liar

As the night draws ever closer

White lines then the fire

Her figure silhouettes before me

Smouldering in the shadows

A body serpentine on mine

While the lust within me grows

Just one fix of dark femininity

My amphetamine girl unfolds

Ingesting lines from beguiled skin

Her body ready to explode

The crescendo of this night

Envelops us as we push into one

Projecting everything we are

Until we come undone…

© Richard Withey. All rights reserved.

You don't ask my name because names don't matter in a juke-joint where smoke's thicker than sense. Beer drips off the tap in heady froth that begs to be suckled. You lick your lips and I lick mine and I know we're going to get along just fine. 

You don't ask my age. In here everyone is any age you want. In the corner booth where shadows darken your eyes into those of a hungry carnivore, I'm fresh prey, naive and sweet. But on the dance floor, in the liquid lights of red and orange and pink, while the juke-pop whines, I'm wise to the world, and my body promises delights yours begs to taste. 

We drink cheap tequila. I lick salt from your hand, tasting your skin, and I'm left wanting. You rub lime on my lips, reducing me to a shivering creature whose mouth needs yours. The warmth in my belly is no longer from the alcohol alone. Your hands pull my hips to yours. Who is who in this tangled mass of limbs? Does it matter? Do we care? We are drunk on a stronger stuff than this bar sells.

Tumbling into the alley, I press you against the wall, taking from your body every ounce of comfort and lust and desire I can. Sparks spring between our hips, send fire down our legs so our knees shake, and we cling to keep from falling. Fingers tangle in each other's hair, and I cannot have enough of you, nor you of me. 

Your apartment is here, you say. Just a bit farther. The air never smelled so sweet as with your scent, made sharper by the night air, on my shirt. Trust is already forgotten or forged--same difference--and I come with you. 

Bourbon, you ask. Whiskey, I say. Both, we laugh. Our skin is electric. The floorboards tip and sway. You hold the bottles. I hold your belt loops. The bed is a life-boat into which we tumble. Our safety from life's storms will be found in one another, we promise. 

The water is not safe. Drink, we cry together. The storm swells higher, and we cling tighter than two lovers ever clung. There is no food left. Drink, we say. We shall survive it all.

The bottles empty. With our own juices, we write love letters on the sheets. Once written, we put our letters in bottles and toss them out to sea. Broken glass smashes, christening the walls. 

We are lost, you cry. 

No, I say, we are found.

Rations gone, we fall on one another. Our hunger is bigger than either of us. We cannibalize one another--tongues lick, mouths taste, eat, eat, eat...until la petite morts cums, drags us drowning to the bottom of the sea...

...morning light blinds my salt-gritted eyes. My dry lips crack when I try to speak, to say, I am lost. Lost-lost. Truly this time.

You were not you. And I was not me. 

My head pounds. I cannot bear for you to see my nakedness. You twine in a stained sheet, tight as a shroud. My belongings are scattered on the floor, studded with broken glass. 

I start to say something awkward and awful, but you shake your head. 

I turn and go. 

an ominous haze

muted music, the thumping of the beat

in rhythm with my

racing heart

and ribbons of red and black dresses swim

in my vision

but somehow through the fog of alcoholic mistakes,

She stands out.

a fire of confidence and beauty, I stumble over

and touch without thinking

and to my surprise

a gentle hand grasps mine

pulls me further away

but I know I am somehow getting closer to-

to what? I don't know, can't tell, my head-

I decide to stop thinking.

and her hand is still with mine

and I can barely tell that that hand is my own.

but She is all that I want, all that I need, so I

proceed.

to take off my clothes, to take off my mask

to give away what I've already lost

and I'm lost

in her eyes

in her thighs

in her

sweet smell of beauty and passion and

it's the morning

and

I'm alone. 

Flashing neons mirror pain in street puddles. 

Viper-like eyes flash and smile to prey.

Alcohol can be a sight aid and a bad advisor.

Silk and leather have true connotations.

It's easy to undo something meant to be undone.

A single bed can hold up to two people.

Simple discoveries are easy to make

In the middle of a night.

I much rather remember my drunken gazelles. Yes, that's how I like them. And believe me, it's how they'd prefer to be when with me too.

Here's one now. I know what she wants. Coming into the bar wearing practically nothing. T n'A on display.

Under my breath I say to myself, "Fuck yeah, I'll keep buying you drinks, Whore. Cheaper than getting a call girl tonight".

We had bought these tickets six months ago, when we saw the tour dates in our area there was no other option but to drop the money right then and there; before the show had a chance to sell out. For five months we would get excited when we thought of seeing the heavy metal band together. We would buy a case of beer to avoid the outrageous prices of liquor inside, we would buy our tour shirts and spend the night in a sweaty open seating venue moshing.

But that was until I caught her getting sweaty with my best friend. The tickets were bought on my account and needed to be scanned from my phone to get in; so out of spite I went alone and gave my ticket up to a stranger outside who came in hopes of buying a ticket.

She bought a case of beer as payment and we drank the entire one hundred and eight ounces a piece before heading on into the concert. The opening act was alright and to continue her gratification she bought shots. I always expected to see my girl in the pit with me, joining in on the near violent fun; pushing her damp hair from her face and kissing her drunk. But this girl wasn't as into moshing as she was me.

Her black hair and piercings were the opposite of Callie; her tattoos that showed when her outfit left little to the imagination; or so I thought. As the next band played and the lights dimmed again she danced on me; the band not heavy enough to properly mosh too.

Another shot in and we crammed ourselves back into the growing crowd.

The lights were a blur and I could get a contact high from the amount of smoking going on in this building. When I wrapped my arms around her stomach she pressed her ass back against me and rocked her hips. I slid my hands up her bare stomach and onto her breasts. She didn't stop me. The music blared around us as I pinched her nipples through her flimsy bra and she leaned back against me.

This was crazy; there were hundreds of people around us, but then she reached back and grabbed my dick; my erection straining against my shorts. Her shorts were tiny and tight, but that didn't matter as soon as I got them unbuttoned. There never seemed to be an advantage for my less than impressive height. She grabbed harder and rubbed me through my shorts, the pleasure went straight to my head.

The pulsing base and lights made this moment unreal. Her zipper went down and I her moans were completely drown out by the metal blaring from the speakers. Her pussy was dripping wet; I had the perfect angle to rub her clit and get the tips of my fingers inside her. She fumbled with my zipper next.

Instead of her hand going down my pants she pulled my cock out. The rush of getting caught pounded in my chest. I was a self proclaimed nerd and introvert with a love of dark lyrics and heavy metal. When I met Callie; all American sweetheart, I was shocked to hear her playlists. Callie was my first and we had a lot of sex; but she would never allow anything like this.

This tattooed, pierced and sexy woman was making my dreams come true. She worked my cock and the crowd didn't matter; I put my hand up her quarter of a shirt, under her bra and gave her hard nipples the love I gave her pussy. She tossed her head back and I could see it in her eyes every time the lights flashed me a glimpse of them.

Callie didn't drink very often and I sure as hell have never gotten to take her in such a state. No one was paying us any attention. Her lips parted as I felt her drench her panties and my fingers. What happened next got some attention. She dropped down, squatting rather than kneeling and sucked my cock dry.

Only a couple heads turned, most were too focused on the music.

When she was done she stood, zipped my shorts and sucked her orgams off my fingers. It didn't bother me in the slightest that I had her tongue against mine after she swallowed my load. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the bar; shooting back two more shots.

My head was already spinning and her dirty grin told me we weren't finished. She was demanding as she pushed me back against the wall and scratched her nails against my flesh. Callie never did that and the longer I kissed Gina or maybe it was the more I drank; I realized that Callie not being in my life anymore was a fucking blessing.

She could fuck my best friend and do shit to him but she couldn't be faithful and explore this shit with me? She was a dumb whore anyway.

"Come on." We fought through the crowd and went to the bathroom; she pranced right into the mens bathroom and slid my phone out of her pocket.

"What are you doing?" She gave me that wickedly sexy smirk and pulled my shirt over my head. The men were looking at her and she posed in a very compromising position with me, snapped a photo and sent the attachment to 'heartless bitch' in my phone; the thread with pleading text messages apologizing for what she did. The thread that had no replies from me the last week as she begged me to forgive her.

She loved me apparently.

In the photo you could tell we were in a men's bathroom. I should care, but I didn't.

"Are you going to let me bring you into one of these stalls?" It was quieter in here, the bathroom blocking a lot out.

"What kind of girl do you think I am? The trashy one that lets a guy fuck her at a concert in a bathroom?" She asked angry and I had no fucking clue what I did that was out of line.

"I think you're a sexually adventurous girl who has done just that in the past. A sexy seductress that could pick any man and who has given me this opportunity." This wasn't her first time doing this; that was obvious. My mine wasn't filtering right and I was sure she would take that as me calling her a slut; but she didn't.

"Fair point, and are you still feeling lucky?" I got my shirt back and the guys were still watching us as they came and went. This was stupidi, insane, reckless and out of line; but I've never felt this excitement before.

"Only if you think I am." Her wink said enough. We left the restroom; man staring lustfully at her and watched the show. But just because we were watching didn't mean she wasn't teasing the hell out of me.

"I think you're lucky tonight; are you really drunk? Because you sure as hell aren't touching me like you are." She turned so she could yell in my ear. Honestly, I have never been so intoxicated in my life and I don't know how I'm standing. The weed was making me a little paranoid too.

"Don't you like how I'm touching you?" Her tight ass felt nice under my palm.

"Yes."

"To clarify; I don't think you're a slut or anything and I'm not saying that just to get laid; nothing wrong with liking sex." I loved sex; and I wanted to know how good it would be with another woman. Fuck that whore who threw away three years of our life together. Thank god we haven't signed that lease on the apartment.

"Don't worry; you don't need to flatter me; you're already going to get fucked tonight."

"You're a demanding little thing aren't you?" She was a woman who knew what she wanted and she would get it.

"You're going to be the one begging for my cock by the end of the night." The band was changing; it was almost time for the head act to go on.

"Baby I'm already begging." She would kill me and I sure fucking hoped that I remembered this tomorrow night.

"Where are you staying tonight?" At this rate I was crashing in my car for the night.

"Depends; I don't invite men back to my apartment." Well at least she had boundaries.

"I'm crashing in my car." Got her touches were driving me insane; I wanted to take her to a fucking ally for all I cared and fuck her against a wall; hell I'll lay my shirt down and be a gentleman if she's down.

"Believe it or not; I've never had sex in the backseat of a car." She nibbled on my lip, pulling away when I tried to kiss her. Time and time again I couldn't catch that pierced lip.

"Well I have a nice backseat and tinted windows."

"Baby I don't care if they're tinted; I only care if it's big enough for the both of us." Her hair was soft between my fingers; this time she didn't get a chance to pull away and I yanked her towards me as the band went on. This was the only thing that could get her to push her body from mine; I was in fucking love as we went into the mosh pit and she held her own in there.

She was tough as nails and sexy as sin.

We were drenched in sweat from being in the center of the pit, and she brought me out of there and towards the side. She yanked at my zipper and button and I stood there like an idiot.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she pushed her damn shorts right down taking a condom from the purse clung over her shoulder.

"Bend me over or pick me up." She pulled my cock free and slid the condom on.

"What? I thought we were going to the car." She shook her head and pulled me to her.

"Fuck me now," My first choice would be to pick her up but I realized just how drunk I was when I nearly dropped her. "Now Wes." She wanted now, she wanted demanding; the man I usually wasn't. Instead fo panicking like I thought I would, I turned her, pushed her body into the wall and spread her legs.

People were all around us, but their mostly intoxicated or high eyes were on the band playing. I plunged my cock inside her wet pussy and pulled her ass back so I could penetrate her deeper. This was more difficult than I anticipated; I wanted to lose my load as soon as I got inside her but I knew that wasn't fucking acceptable. I played with her clit; trying to get her off before I could no longer hold back.

She screamed and I could hardly hear her. I pounded her pussy from the back and this was the most alive I've ever fucking felt. This stranger taking my dick made me feel like I could do anything. Her soft flesh and nice ass bounded back against me. As I took her I bent and sucked on her neck. There would no doubt be a mark but that didn't matter.

She drove me higher; she brought me somewhere I've never been before. The way she creamed around my dick was incredible. She wanted my dick more than anything right now, she wanted me to take her, she needed me to please and pleasure her; her desire was mine for tonight.

Even if I only had her a night, it was a night I would like to never forget; if only I could remember tomorrow." She worked my balls until I came too; pulsating inside her, losing my load into the boundary between us.

I could see her panting and I was sweaty in ways I never thought I would be tonight. God this woman was a fucking goddess on earth; an evil temptress.

I pulled out and she pulled up her panties and shorts. She came with me when I went to the bathroom to take the condom off and clean my dick off.

"Don't think I'm done with you yet; you owe me a romp in a car." After that we actually went and simply enjoyed the music. I held her hand if we were moshing and we sang along as we headbanged. After I thought she would just disappear; but sure as shit she came back to the car with me. She obviously loved the thrill of getting caught and I was understanding why.

She bend over the middle of the seat and I ate her pussy out. My front windows weren't tinted; anyone passing could see her face and hear her screams. I expected for someone to call the cops but as she turned around and took a hard ride on my dick; no one came. People stared at the shaking car but no one did or said anything.

My car wasn't big enough to lay her down but it was tall enough for her to bounce up and down. Sex with her wasn't just amazing; it was fun. She smacked her head against the top and I almost died laughing.

She smacked my chest and threatened to leave if I didn't stop; but then she started laughing too. Her ass took up two handfuls and it was one glorious ass. When i said her outfit left little to the imagination; that was until I got that bra off and got to see and get my tongue on those nipple piercings. Her tattoos covered most her body and I wish I had the space to properly discover all of them.

It sucked knowing this was all I could get of her, but I was honored to have that. Instead of drowning myself in liquor and feeling self pity, wondering what I did to deserve to be cheated on; I was drowning myself in her and wondering why I ever settled for the monotonous relationship I had with Callie.

Gina's given me a taste of freedom and excitement; I was never going back after her.

She scratched the hell out of me and I bruised her neck as I sucked and bit her; her voice begging me to do it again. Her ass was covered in scratches as I tried to get her to stay with my cock all the way inside her; to feel her walls pulse and grasp me.

"Move damn it." She tried but I was stronger. With a lot of difficulty I got her bent over again, this time in a way that I could get my dick in her again from behind. Her stomach was pressed probably uncomfortably into the center console; Every thrust probably killed her but she pushed back for me to keep going.

This was the most difficult sex I've ever had in my life and will probably ever have; but worth it.

When we were done she climbed up front into the passenger seat and I took the driver. She didn't bother to put clothes on so neither did I.

"How did we manage that?" She asked out of breath; no fucking clue. The alcohol was fading and that was likely the only reason we could get into those positions in a fucking car. There was a blanket in the trunk, I was nothing if not prepared. There was that chance i would be too drunk so I shared it with her.

She slept in the car with me and I ran my fingers over her flesh as I crashed. At about four in the morning I woke up to her climbing in my lap for one last go at it because when I woke up to my alarm at eight; she was gone.

There were about a dozen missed texts and calls; one of them from Gina telling me thank you for the night and to call her if I ever made my way to the city again. The others were from Callie. I glanced through them and felt nothing. No pain, no longing; she made her bed and she chose to sleep in it with my best friend. She wasn't needed in my life anymore. I deleted the thread; the thousands of texts we shared and deleted her from my life.

I got dressed, googled a good breakfast place and headed off to eat, drink five gallons of water and something to kill the headache. Next time I went to a concert in he city I would have to buy two tickets again, text a certain woman and make her pay me back with another case of beer.

Sip the whiskey to remember

Knock it back to forget

One warm night in early September

Surrounded by him, liquor, and cigarettes.

Living a life of denial

He stripped my mask with such grace

And sent me on this downward spiral.

I sip the whiskey to remember his face.

Chiseled jaw and crystal eyes

Danced behind those black rimmed lids.

He picked apart my careful disguise,

Dispatched those dames and made his bid.

Two whiskeys down and another round 

Muddled my mind with his words and liquor

Accompanied him across this sleeping town

With the promise of more emboldening elixir.

A glass for us both and cigarette in hand

I got lost in the tattoos enveloping his arms

His charms pulled me down, like all encompassing quicksand

I was caught in his eyes and completely disarmed.

A brush of  skin, a casual touch 

"I'm not gay" I mumbled desperately into his embrace  

No prying eyes here to condemn or judge

Just my own inner inhibitions to face.   

His lips on my ear, "That's okay," he whispered.

"Tonight you can seek whatever you desire.

Emboldened and brazen, we'll blame the liquor

For these defiant actions and this raging fire."

I fell into him and we quenched those flames 

Whiskey riddled desire taken to new heights.

Yet woke alone in a bed of spilled whiskey and shame  

With this note, "Thanks for the amazing night."

Now I sip the whiskey to remember     

And realize the liquor was never to blame

For that fiery night in early September

When that tattooed man set my heart aflame.