Fingers pressed on my neck, you caress my chest. Our euphoric duet consumes your soul.
He turns me on, then gently bangs me with his fingers, expertly pressing my buttons.
I hummed, purred, keeping you in shape.
I thought we bonded!
Now I dry laundry.
My face paled. Here he comes once again. Goddamn human. He's so full of shit.
Wiping the Mirror.
I say! Oh I do say! Isn't she ravishing this morning!... Wait, no. 'Twas condensation.
Please Find a Day Job
Writer my ass, I hope I run out of ink. I have been so misused.
I'm a plastic block stuffed with electrical circuits, how do I entertain you for hours?
Must she squeeze so hard? Oh… she’s crying. It’s alright, little one, squeeze Teddy tight.
For God’s Sake, Go Running Already...
Bitch, staring at me for hours scrunching your stomach ain't gonna make you any skinnier.
What is more beloved than I?
Nothing, I think.
Only I have your undivided attention.