People don't know this about me, and they would argue against it

but I have had years of practice in hiding this thing about me

This flaw of mine, I became aware of it when I was in grade school

My social inept-ness...I was never like the kids in school

always by myself - weird as I had friends, one or two very close but that was it

I was a bit socially awkward. And here is the deepest part of this,

I take people for their word. I expect it as I hold myself to my word when I say it

so it has made me a bit wierd to be around. When someone says "let's do lunch"

I'm there with my calendar and ready to plan. I can't help it

I am sure I put people at ill ease when I start making plans when they were merely

just trying to be nice.

So this social in-eptness has made me question those around me

I no longer get upset when someone doesn't show after making plans

I no longer get upset when they don't call when they say they will

I just let it go as they are not like me...

When I call you friend, I mean it and you will be entitled to all that that means

When I say I love you, it will be from the flame that is burning so bright and so deep

that you will feel the warmth just standing next to me...

So, I have learned to mask this flaw of mine. So I can fit in, with those different from me

So I can socialize outside of the voices in my head.

With those, living and breathing...

Not like me...

Mine, mine, mine.

Why should I share?

Why should I care?

Curse of the oldest child,

selfish and wild. . .

don't get me riled.

I don't like to go out. I will go out but don't like to. I would rather stay home, nestled in my cocoon.

I would rather order food and bring it home. Its easier then having to get dressed up and going out.

I am a workaholic and when I have a day off, I would rather be home and not be around strangers.

I am a loner, I have friends but don't really go out with them.

I am a couch potato, I love to DVR shows and watch them, one after another, until there are no more.

I am a worrywart, I worry about matters that are beyond my control. I don't let it consume me but I can lose sleep over it.

I'm sure there are many more flaws about me but I am me and will not ever change for you, love me (or hate me) for what I am!

I say I value honesty,

But can it really be?

If all I seem to do in life is shirk the quality...

What right have I to ask of you

To value virtue (being true),

When I myself have yet to chew

The real result of change?

We didn't have a church where I came from. Our sins were never forgiven behind lush velvet curtains, on crimson cushions, or in hushed satin voices. Our sins were found in the fields we churned for wheat, in the bellies of the cows we bred for milk, and in the song of the wolves that came to hunt. As children, mama made us roam the fields when we were bad. We were made to scrounge for three stones that would save our mortal souls from sin; one for the wrong doing, one for the pain we caused others, and one for ourselves. We would heave those stones into the well, praying for forgiveness, but I always forgot to pray... I would stare down into the infinite black liquid to watch the rocks fall, and wonder which stone weighed the heaviest.

I, I, I

My, my, my

Me, me, me

"That's cool, I-"

Everyone wants to talk about themselves,

and I will admit that I do, too

Sometimes, though

it's necessary to stop and listen

stop chattering about your life

and hear the bees buzzing about theirs

To start at the beginning,

if there were anything,

I have many a flaw,

but none I can now recall.

Give it time,

and before the end of this rhyme,

I will think of one,

of which this will be done.

You ask a quality,

I say in all frivolity;

does that matter, and if so,

I will tell you at the end as I go.

And here we are, flaws and all,

and now the flaw I recall;

I write to much,

physically say to little,

and for this part,

that is my little diddy.

A quality you seek,

so within my memory I peek,

searching for a moment true,

and it would have to be,

helping my friends,

thus, it was never about me.

I end this now on a note so high,

as I watch and stare from my window on high,

at the passerby's going this way and that,

wondering who owns a dog or cat.

Of which this was nothing to do

with this challenge so cool,

just sharing a moment,

to reader's and you.

I love too much. My emotions do not understand the word "heel." My heart...can be cleaved into many parts, burrowing itself into different soils at my feet or fifty miles away. There is no middle ground, only extremes and to me, it's my protection against indifference and the comatose state of my hyperactive, awaiting mind. I love too much so I do not understand logic the way I should according to my family, I am the walking embodiment of unconditional trust. I begin to cherish people when I meet them, see their wold through lenses painted a pastel blue, wish to share their burdens, wish to raise them above skyscrapes, and because I love people too much, I never ask them to stay.