Deep inside everyone lives a monster.

But not every mo

Is there one inside me?

Uh, yes honey.

Where?

It’s inside you, in your belly.

I don’t feel it.

Because it’s hiding.

Oh.

Anyway…

But not every monster looks the same.

Some monsters are tall, some monsters are hairy.

Some monsters are cute, some monsters are scary.

RAAAAWR! My monster is scary.

Oh my, very scary!

Some monsters are picky and only eat berries.

But every monster

What are berries?

What? You love berries. Like STRAWberries?

Oh, those are good.

That’s my daughter.

I’m thirsty.

No you’re not. We’re finishing the book and then you’re going to sleep.

But I really am!

No.

Some monsters are picky and only eat berries.

But every monster has a secret to tell.

A secret that all monsters keep very well.

The secret they keep

What’s the secret?

I’m about to read it.

Oh yeah, I forgot.

But this is your favorite book.

Yeah, heehee.

You goof.

The secret they keep until their face turns blue.

Is that the monster inside is you.

I’m the monster! RAAAAWR!

Yes, yes you are. But even monsters have bedtimes.

Aww, do I gotta?

Yes, honey. It’s late.

But you never go to bed now.

That’s because my monster gets hungry at night.

Daddy, that’s cheating.

Don’t tell mom.

Jared took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. He stroked his chin, & stood for a little while staring at his reflection. A voice called out his name: ‘‘Jared.’’ It was almost a whisper, he thought it was just in his head.

(*gasps* Oh no. Who/what could be calling him?)

He turned around and scratched his head. But his reflection had not changed, and it was looking at his back side.

(Whoa! What in the world is coming after him? Jared, I think you either need to find a place to hide, or face whatever is after you~ eish. This is really bad. I wonder how this is going to end.)

Jared walked away from the mirror and left his bathroom. He rushed to check if there was someone at the front door.

(Hmm, where is this going now?)

The second he shut the door, something knocked him out and he landed on the ground. Jared felt his body being dragged and tossed onto a couch.

(Okay. Who’s after him~ is it his reflection, or something else?!)

When he opened his eyes, he met two wide eyes staring at him. Jared sat right up and shook his head. This didn’t make any sense.

(Eh. What’s going on? Oh, tell me who/what it is? Come on. I need more details. *sighs*)

Jared fell to his knees and could not stop the tears from flowing. ‘‘How are you here? I thought you were...gone..’’

(Er, who? Did someone die, or get killed?)

The moment he tried to touch her face, his hands phased through her body. This made him even feel much worse. His beloved was back, sadly, she wasn’t human anymore.

(I see. *nods* Poor guy, but what is she doing coming after him & scaring him like this. Uh.)

Jared noticed how her skin had changed. It was not the same as before. Her eyes were lost, wandering about. Even her face was not looking bright. She looked grey, and seemed to be missing something.

(Interesting details. Still, what does she want from him? Omg, no. I think I know where this is going. *gulps*)

She blinked and then she started to change. Jared backed away from her in panic. Her hands reached out to him like a flood of black feathers. He waved his hands, trying to fight for his life. It was all in vain!

(Ah, well, I guess it’s over.)

Jared concentrated and focused his mind. He mumbled some words & a portal opened. A blinding light broke through the portal and wrapped itself around Jared’s guest.

(Wha- o~ Jared has powers? Why did he wait this long to use them? *laughs*)

The light trap pulled her away, and she was sent back to the netherworld. Jared screamed. He would have to find a way to get her back. She had saved him from ending up in that place. He had to find a way to save his beloved, before it was too late.

(I think I’m going to need some time to recover from the ending. Tough decision right there. How is he going to save her?

Hey, where’s the rest of the story. Mm, I’ll have to wait for the next episode/part. Fine.)

The End—

(No way! It can’t be.)

-For now.

(Lol, that’s better. The story better be continued soon. My boy, Jared, needs to be reunited with his beloved. Anyway, not a bad story/beginning.)

#MonBien-aimé ©

dimanche, 6 octobre, 2019.

My daddy has a lot of people come over. They don't stay very long. They sit next to the coffee table.

So far this little girl's punctuation is good.

Daddy and the people always call each other "mann."Daddy brings them little rocks to the coffee table.

Oh shit.

Sometimes they talk too fast and I can't understand them. Sometimes they get real exited. Most of them have bad teeth. They should go to the dentist, but they give Daddy their money!

Oh shit!

Ah. I see this is going to be one of those novels, the ones where the author couldn't come up with a title so they just name it after the main character. Yikes.

A shining moon turned Jenna’s bedroom into a constellation, the holes in her curtains creating stars on the floor.

Please tell me this isn’t going to be some shitty fluff novel. The poor girl rising up, some cliche plot like that...

The stars told the story of her anger, the violent outbursts that led to ripped cloth and bruises.

Well, I guess this isn’t about poor people. Maybe it is. Still could be a fluff novel, though. Man, I hate those...

The bruises decorated her thighs. The rips furnished everything else. Her clothes, her sheets, her curtains.

The bruises turned her into an oil painting, a canvas of anger.

Her father had made those. In retaliation, she had made his house look abandoned, ripping everything.

Her jeans were torn in several different places, and in others, sewn hastily back together. Her life was a quilt, and she was the seamstress. Or maybe Dad was. No way to tell.

Abusive parent. Yay. This is totally going to be a fluff novel.

I hate this already. But Maggie told me to read it, and I have to give her a plot summary tomorrow.

She’s worse than my english teacher.

The window fogged up. The mist crept along the edges at first, before churning across the whole thing. Soon the curtains no longer made murals on her floor. It was all just... dark.

"JENNA!!"

Ah yes. The confrontation. The one we've all been waiting for.

Jenna's steps trace a well-worn path down the rotting wood steps. Her pockmarked feet are grubby and scraped. Not because she doesn't have socks, but because he bought them. Why would she support his hate? Like paying for your least favorite candidate in an election.

(UNFINISHED)

I try,

- Everyone does that...

I try to be better everyday

And everyday...

-Boring! Doing the same job everyday?

And everyday, I hope to be

Better again.

-Wow! Sounds like a fifth grade prayer..

I try,

I try to make a conversation

And everytime,..

-You make an enemy!

And everytime, I run short

Of words.

-Oh dear! You aren't talkative?

I try,

-Again??

I try so hard, to be that girl

Which the society wants so much.

- Wait! It's me!!

...I tried so hard.

-Yeah, I did..

And yet I try once again.

With renewed efforts,

-Really?

With rejuvenated spirits..

-Maybe I should try again?

I try,

I try to mask the devil in me,

With a docile exterior.

-I do that all the time..

I try to blend amongst everybody,

Ignoring my fear.

-It should have been "my tear".

I try to be a happy child,

When all I have is tears.

-Here.. It comes..

I try to be the good girl.

And I fail every year.

-Cheers.. Bad girl!

And yet again I try,

I try to be better everyday

And everyday I hope,

To be better again...

-You'll be worse.. You made me cry bad girl.. It's my story. So much my story..

(This poem was written by me.. Weeks back.. Just conjured up the reader!)

I conceive my work alone.

Giving birth in utter solitude!

To understand the feeling behind my own creation?

Impossible!

To read it better than I could?

Unfathomable!

My editor told me to write two versions and depersonalize one.

A difficult process for me.

I felt like I was leaving my baby in the hands of a stranger!

"I am the only one it knows!"

Finally I realized, it can never grow, until I let it...

By: Benz

©10-1-19

Luna downloads A Relationship (Or Something Like It) to her Kindle. Suzanne said that she needed to read this because Alyssa, her old college roommate, based a character on her. Suzanne had warned, "I don't think you're going to like this, especially with the way you feel about Alyssa."

It doesn’t hurt that Leigh is very pretty, slender, with blonde hair, and big blue eyes, and a dancer’s strong, athletic grace.

Hmm, she thinks I'm pretty. What is so bad about this?

Leigh, like me, is still a virgin, but she has had a few long term boyfriends. She has had a very rough life, growing up with a single alcoholic mother who was constantly falling off the wagon. As a result, she took care of her two younger brothers and had developed a very protective instinct and a high dose of skepticism towards those she cared about. On the other hand, she has made some poor personal choices with regards to love. She had recently broken up with her long-term high school boyfriend Brad who had been in and out of prison due to drug dealing, possession, and shoplifting. They broke up when she caught him trying to sneak stolen goods into her purse.

That b*tch, what right does she have, analysing personal details of "my" life? Believe me, the woman has plenty of issues of her own. What right does she have to bash me like this? Why am I so upset, the writing isn't even that good?

I do not really want to tell Leigh and Diana about Kyle because I know they disapprove of the specifics I mention earlier in the summer. I decide to lie a little bit and say that I met someone through one of my ads, but he lives in a different state. I mention that he promised to write and call and that I have not heard from him in over a month. Leigh especially can tell I am not telling the full truth and goes into her protective mode, asking me probing leading questions. She also spouts a lot of rhetoric about it always being the best policy to tell the truth no matter what. Diana, though she suspects the same thing, is kinder figuring I’ll tell the full story when I’m ready.

***

“Who was that?” Leigh asks, hearing the tail end of my conversation as she comes home from her class. I know that I should fully disclose the truth about everything, but I feel I’m already caught too deep in the lie that I told. Even though I know things will drive Leigh away even further, I tell her that it was the guy my age from the ad calling me. Leigh just gives me a dirty look.

When my parents call that night, before I can answer the phone, Leigh picks it up and informs them that I got a special phone call that I can’t wait to tell them about. Leigh looks at me and says,

“It’s always best to tell the truth.”

But I was her friend! If she considered me a friend, she wouldn't have lied to begin with. I would have tried to be supportive whether I agreed with her or not. I'm hurt that she didn't give me the chance. The lying was what ruined my friendship with Alyssa. If only she were honest with me from the start. And it wasn't only about "Kyle," she hid other things from me, too. She didn't tell the truth that her parents paid for all of her college tuition. Alyssa justified this as she did not want to come off as spoiled. I thought she was lucky to have this support, if a little jealous. I'm pretty sure she lied about other things, too.

I know that my friend is just showing her concern for me with the same fierce passion that she has when protecting her brothers from the worst of their mother’s alcoholism, but this is entirely different. I am a grown woman who wants to make her own choices about love and I think that I am a good judge of character. I need to find a way to reassure Leigh that as much as I appreciate the way she cares so much, in this case, she needs to back off.

What right does she have to analyze me? I was and still am, mad at her because she's a liar.

I have a feeling deep down that even though things appear to be all right again between Leigh and me, it will take a lot of work and repair to get our friendship back to the way it was. She feels that a level of trust has been broken by my not disclosing everything. I wonder, though I would never say anything to her, if she rushed into her relationship with Aidan just so she wouldn’t have to face being alone and if she has been holding out some details of her own. Sometimes during his visits and phone conversations, I hear arguments between them and don’t think things are as perfect as she wants them to be.

She's damn right about that. I stopped trusting Alyssa, when she proved she couldn't trust me enough to be completely honest with me. She felt that in finally telling me the truth about "Kyle," she could erase all the bad feelings between us. It would have taken a lot more than that. This book shows that I was definitely right not to forgive.

After returning from the lobby mailbox, I see Leigh sitting on the couch in tears. Diana is comforting her.

“He was such a great guy,” she keeps saying over and over.

“What’s wrong?”

Leigh tells how Aidan just called her and told her that they needed to break up. They had had a fight the weekend before. Then today, he tells her that he thought it over and that he realized he still had feelings for an ex-girlfriend. I always thought she latched on to her relationship with him so she wouldn’t have to deal with what she went through with Brad.

Brad is a burnout and has no plans to go to college. He had both used and sold drugs and was constantly in trouble with the law. For as long as Leigh had known him, he had been in and out of rehab centers and juvenile detention homes. Similar to her background, he grew up with parents who were both alcoholics and recreational drug users. Unlike her, however, he showed no desire to work hard and break the pattern. After Leigh was detained for Brad’s shoplifting and trying to frame her, she realized that what she had with him was unhealthy and broke it off. Then she went up to school to make up her missed classes due to mono, took the waitressing job, met Aidan, and they almost immediately became an established couple before she had time to evaluate her relationship with Brad.

Diana and I comfort Leigh while she cries, and we just listen.

“This is the first time in years I am alone. I don’t think I have ever been alone before,” she cries. “There has always been someone.”

This is getting worse and worse. How could she bash my love life like that? This is a vicous attack on me. I don't know if I can stand it anymore. Maybe I should stop reading. But I need to know what else she has said. What a betrayal!

In the week before Valentine’s Day I check the mailbox every day, and there is nothing. He does not call me on the day itself. That night, I lay on my bed sobbing, and Diana and Leigh come in wondering what is bothering me. I tell them how I was really hoping for a card or a call from Kyle even though we are taking things slowly

What a pathetic loser. And she has the gall to judge me about my love life!

I tell my dad about my latest job offer. Then I take a deep breath.

“Dad, I need to tell you something. I have been hurting for a long time, and I just need to tell somebody, especially now.”

He listens.

“I am very excited about The Miami Beat, it’s the best offer I have had, but I don’t know if I can handle Florida emotionally. I didn’t tell you everything about Kyle because I was too embarrassed. The truth is, after the first night when he acted so glad to see me, he told me he had met someone else. I didn’t want anyone to know because I felt so foolish,”

I started to cry. I could hear a deep breath over the phone as if dad is trying to control his anger.

“Abigail, you are a beautiful smart woman, and mom and I are proud of who you have become. We let things go as far as they did with Kyle even though we knew things were not going to be what you wanted. You had to grow and experience meeting different kinds of people.”

I try to stop crying.

“But do you think going to Florida and living so close by is a good decision?”

Dad thinks a moment then advises, “This is the best job opportunity you have received. I think it’s worth a try. You can always change jobs if you feel it is not working out for you. Let me tell you something,” he continues. “You will go on many dates in your lifetime. A few years down the road when you are an established, award winning writer, you will meet that someone special.”

Ah ha! Proof that Alyssa is a liar and a loser and just moved to chase a love that she never had a chance at to begin with. I thought it was rather suspicious that out of the blue she got a teaching assistanship in the same state where "Kyle" just happened to live. I've read enough about her dead end love life, unexiting existance, her jealous, viscious railings directed at me, her family, and her other so called "friends." I'm not only giving this book a one star but I'm going to do a little bashing myself. I want everybody to know who Alyssa really is.

Here lies the thoughts of my readers as they journey through my works from Beginning to End.

How it begins:

"Oh wow, this is pretty cool. Whoooaa that's a badass fight scene. Where's she going with this? Who's that person? What's that? This is interesting. I think I will naively continue reading."

Middle:

"I'm so invested, I hate this. That's such an insane scene! Why did she do this to me? Why do I care about these characters so much? OH. MAI. GODZILLA. DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!? WHAT. THE. FLUFF! THIS WHOLE TIME? AAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" *potential whimpering*

End:

[enter here the sounds of a nervous breakdown] "This evil eeeevil author! Agh! what do I do with these emotions? Who will take responsibility for this? Ack! How dare- How could- agh! What do I fill my life with now? .......I wonder if she wrote any other books?"

~ ~ ~

Essentially, these are more or less the thoughts I'm constantly trying to evoke out of my readers, not necessarily out of the need to harass people, but mainly because I like the thought of producing the type of content that gives readers something to obsess over. Kind of like what the Marvel Universe did to me.

My end goal is to be able to distract people from the sucky side of life, as well as inspire the creation of different styles of art, ie. drawings, paintings, other stories, music, dances, sculptures, recipes, or litterally anything artistic that might distract and inspire someone else as well. It just so happens that I get to be evil on this journey - kind of like Marvel (+___+)

We like to say everything we do is with the awareness that others are feeling too.

But we’re rearranging everything

For our own best feelings to come out

We’re scared shitless of feelings that aren’t the best

What do I really care what you’re feeling?

Other than in hopes that your feelings

Are something positive about me

Are engulfed in all of me that I have