after the ashes rise,

ill fall to pits of my despair.

what we once felt,

is no longer there.

we are toxic, unresponsive

way beyond repair

drift your thoughts back to before:

it was freezing, winter season,

i knew you, you say, voice rough and hoarse.

we were at peace, let life take it's course.

but it lead us here: to depths so deep.

i am tired, i have tried by i cannot sleep.

i am haunted by what we used to be.

Before I touched your body,

Before I saw your soul,

When I was behaving oddly,

To try and get to know,

The you before the time I met you,

What was going through your mind,

If you thought your dreams would come true,

Get your story to unwind.

I had thought I saw our after,

In the corner of your eye,

Thought I knew where we were going

Until you caught me by surprise,

After you had time to think

Your after's turning then on me

After I became an afterthought

After you thought to set me free.

I've been longing for an after

Looking at each of our befores,

Every moment filled with laughter

Now is broken evermore.

Before has no answers for me

And I know I must move on

But before I go I must see

There's an after with you gone.