100 Yards To Better Health
Many adults fall into a rhythm as soon as they leave school and go out into the working world, wherein they content themselves with fast food to save time, and with sitting down in an office all day. It is hopefully obvious to all of us, at least, that these are not ideal preconditions to achieving a super-keen state of physical fitness, and to an improved quality of life.
Once they get older, adults have three* “good” reasons for not trying to get back in shape:
1), No time.
2), No place to do it.
3), No money.
4), Body hurts whenever they, like, move.
5), Comfort Zone is too comfy.
With respect to this last reason: go ahead and enjoy your comfort zone. It will continue to get smaller as you age (see #4), you will surprise no one, least of all yourself, you will never challenge yourself and therefore never improve, and, one day, on your deathbed at the latest, you will ask yourself why you didn’t enjoy more of this life to its fullest and then die miserably in regret. Yay!
#4: It is no surprise that everything hurts. Soft tissue works like this: muscles, and especially muscle tissue, needs to be long and elastic, like a cat’s, to be healthy. A shortage of movement and the ingestion of crap the body does not need leads to the drying up, shriveling, and knotting of this muscle tissue, until it looks like the knotted ball of yarn the cat plays with, and which leads to pain when this tissue is engaged. Worse, the pain causes a further reduction of movement, and the cycle continues and intensifies.
#3: The training here is free [sticks tongue out].
#2: See below..(and title)...
#1: These workouts take anywhere from ten to twenty minutes, depending on how intensely your body wants to go. If you can’t find 10-20 minutes it’s time to reorganize your entire life. Starting with the time you get up in the morning.
I’m here in the mountains in Spain. There is no flat. Whether or not you train on flat ground or hills is immaterial. You should do what your body tells you to do, not what I do.
Start walking. When you get tired. Stop. Repeat chorus. Take breaks as needed.
Whenever you feel up to it, jog. Stop jogging and walk when it hurts. Try to work yourself up to jogging for 100 yards.
Always breathe deeply, into your stomach and sides. Breathe first, the rest comes later.
Important Tips for beginners:
1), Go barefoot as much as possible. If you want to get stronger and healthier you have to train-the same goes for your feet as well. How can they train if they can’t feel the ground and are wedged in tight, and the toes have no elbow room in your foot coffins? Consider Xero or Merrell barefoot shoes; other brands on Amazon are cheaper and you can try them as well until your feet get used to the sensation of being alive again.
2), Walk backwards, ESPECIALLY if you have knee troubles (like me). Millions of Chinese can’t be wrong–they do it every day. There is a science behind it–you can check out Kneesovertoesguy on YouTube for details; please remember if you do that this human had x surgeries on his knees and can do some amazing things with his legs, as you’ll see in the videos.
3), Always listen to your body. Do too little instead of too much: too much leads to ouchies and frustration, which will lead to quitting.
I usually do seven reps backwards up the hill and one forwards (it’s VERY steep). I jog backwards down the hill after the last rep forwards.
If you start on flat ground but get bored fast-mix it up. Have some imagination. Good for brane. 3 reps 100 yards forwards/3 backwards, for example. You can do one rep a week of side straddles or crossovers-good for leg. I’m sure you can Google what these exercises are if you don’t know.
Jog 100 yards forwards and 100 yards backwards.
Jog 100 yards forwards and walk back forwards. Then do the same backwards.
Walk a few reps barefoot.
Discover Yoga and/or Pilates. Why?-these disciplines teach your body, whether it wants to learn or not, how to be healthy from the inside out, not the other way around, which is what most boneheads do (first huge muscles everyone can see, then maybe later when there’s time before I can’t move anymore because my muscles are too big and I’m about as flexible as a gravestone I’ll develop muscle and muscle tissue length and elasticity).
For those of you who like Yoga but don’t have the money for a Pilates machine (Reformer, Barrel, Chair, That cool-ass bed thingy–the Cadillac, etc): all Pilates exercises can be done on a mat without the machine. Most studios in Europe, for example, don’t have any machines.
Most importantly, have fun. No Pain No Gain is out. You are getting better, healthier, and stronger by the minute, and you are outside enjoying the fresh air and Nature. Listen to the birds and not your headphones. Watch butterflies instead of a new car.
And if none of these tips and work and you still feel trapped inside your comfort zone and are being suffocated by the 1001 excuses you find it so easy to make, then it’s time for a coach. Either you’re ready for a change and start doing something about it or you’re not. Excuses won’t help anyone with anything; get help...
*-Yes I know there are 5. I meant Monty Python “Holy Grail” 3...
Turn the Page
So strange how the body and mind
are like boats passing slow in the night...
So much is forgotten, and shelved
far, far from the porthole of sight...
Come awake with wide eyes,
when you’re shocked by black ether!...
The world has its fine ways,
and is vaguely defined,
like the raggedy doll that you use as a playmate
who’s been pounced ’til she bled...
What goes on in your head?...
Let her air on the porch
’fore she’s musty and maimed...
There’s so little to thought
in this lightening licked lane
that you choose to inhabit.
There’s a street light above
who is nightly romanced by
mosquitoes and gnats...
You sit under her glare, and you
gaze north and south,
Waiting for God to answer...
Is there something to all of this
You could jump a fast train,
get a flat in New Brunswick,
or take a freak chance,
and fly down the West Coast!...
See Portland, or Anchorage;
City of Angels...
Though they say it’s
‘Lost Angeles’ you’re
merely a ghost
when you live just for sitting...
Marking time like a maid
so enslaved in her process of
While you’d swear
to your habits,
you’re just digging your grave.
Ye, though there’s much to be said
about thick travel plans,
and they feel like a balm,
I attest that a scam
is facilitated by
your escapist desires,
always banking on fleeing, and
topping all spires!...
What about your insides?...
Don’t you want to own up?...
What within begs you fill
this insatiable cup?...
You can flee ’til your legs
are just flesh tattered pegs,
but you’ll never escape your
reflection in glass...
Now’s the time to turn ’round,
and start spinning your silk...
Aren’t you sick of the waiting?...
Find that push, shed the guilt,
and tear down green hedges
which comprise your life’s maze...
There’s so many more stories
if you’ll just turn the page.