I want
I want to hear so much noise my head pounds
but I also want blissful silence
I want crowds and crowds of people
but I also want solitude
I want buildings that soar and make me dream
but I also want rolling green as far as I can see
I want every color imaginable
but I also want plain, muted peace
I want everything at once
but I also want nothing at all
The Colosseum
I walk down these hallways as a silent observer. I watch as angled haircuts make out with other angled haircuts. Hoping that if no one sees their face this life won’t be real. I see invisible football pads on 80% of the population, with terrifying face masks camouflaged by real clothes. Too afraid to see how naked they would feel if the jerseys were forced off their bodies. I watch a crying blonde as she imagines her tears illuminated by a spotlight. Her woes projected on every passerby. I see a boy with dark clothes and druggie bags under his eyes. His shirt is a picture of beer. His mind is a dying, fearful animal caged by his skull. I see boots covered in dust from the barns. Supposed to be a role model but hiding the alcohol on his breath. I see a sky high ponytail. Clutching her stomach and throat with guilt and shame. I see a pair of glasses reflecting every book that it’s read. But also reflecting every time he was paid to do the valedictorian’s homework. I see bright faces covered by bruises. Insisting they were purely accidental but wincing every time they have to see their dad. I see high heads with imaginary crowns. All it takes is one paper airplane to knock it over but no one would dare throw it. I see every single eye looking at someone else. Every single person’s head on a swivel for other’s approval. A starvation resting on their shoulders. Holding down their backpacks with ghost arms. Draining every soul that steps into the red and white colosseum.