it has been awhile now since I've gotten over recent events.

new ones arise and i stress over them.

you just have to live.

i try to be as genuine to myself everyday, I have been pretty successful lately.

have i hurt others? possibly.

can i make everyone happy? no.

so i shall do my best to make myself happy before anyone.

if you were a descent person at all you would have some emotion for others. but you are so oblivious to others feelings and my wellbeing is not doing well at all. i hate myself and i worry about future me constantly. i am not doing ok but would you take the time of day to ask me about my problems or try to help me? no you wouldn't because all you care about is yourself. but i guess it is alright because everyone only cares for them self so it seems, except me all i do i help everyone else and do everything i can for everyone else and don't get anything in return. i've loved you and cared for you with everything i have and you give me this? well I'm sorry for talking, existing, and coming into your life. if it were up to me i wouldn't talk, exist, or have come into anyones life. it probably would everyones life easier.

i once mentioned tattoos, you said you didn't mind them.

however you did not take into consideration the permanency of tattoos. you said you would never get one however you gave them. they are not visible but you gave them to me. they are noticeable not visibly but in my emotions, mindset, and actions.

you have changed me and change is usually good, not in this case. i just wish i could remove the tattoo you have left on me. its a reminder of you and i cant seem to shake the thought of you.

Why are people so selfish? I do everything i can for a person and what i get in return is abandonment. I try my hardest to please someone and once they get what i worked for they leave. People leave when they no longer need you and come back when they are dissatisfied with their life or have a problem. I don't think that is alright.

Everything was great, perfect if you will, but your cold hand griped my forearm and pulled me from the crowd. Not even a minute later everything had ended. You had told me it was over. I was shattered and silent. You left with a sense of cockneys. I was alone. The one who had shown me what love was, had just left me to crumble. Here I am still broken and alone. Time has passed, my love has not. I am still here waiting for you to come back but you never do. I am still here thinking of why you had to leave. Was I not good enough or was I clingy, annoying, or possibly boring? For whatever reason you had to leave is unknown to me. But the effect of the unknown reasoning is my brokenness. The effect is my lack of trust for anyone. The feelings were "mutual" and one day they weren't? I guess just don't know how you can stop loving someone so suddenly. Or was your love a fraud? I was robbed of my dignity, pride, and my love? If you never loved my the why did you say you did? Why did you waste time on me just to break me? Love isn't something to mess with. I am so fragile. I am so lonely. I stay up to early hours in the morning thinking about you, thinking about what I did wrong and what I could've done to make you love me. But I can't make you love me. I can't change what has happened. So here I am solitary. Here I am sad. Here I am in love with someone who broke me and stole everything I had and destroyed it. So here I am with a case of solitary sadness.

here I am alone, silent, and pondering if your situation is similar.

maybe you are thinking of me, probably not but I can convince myself you are.

here I am alone, silent, and pondering why is it four am and why am I missing your voice and your touch.

maybe you are happy now, that's what I want for you is to be happy.

I thought I made you happy but I guess that wasn't the case.

I have never felt like this for anyone.

you were so great to me, in the short time you gave me.

I miss you.

I really do.

I would do anything for you to comeback. -Ken

the one I miss the most

they were near to my heart

I talked about them with boast and fell in love from the start

it was easy to fall but there love had hit the ground and shattered I thought I mattered but to you my voice was just a sound and my love was a feeling disregarded… -Ken

I assume you found better

that's fine.

I'm sorry I wasn't what you were looking for

I'm also sorry for giving you everything I had and wasting your time, even though you wasted mine.

there was no apology no genuine one.

there were words to represent the apology however the emotions weren't genuine, the cold "I'm sorry" meant nothing.

I still see you and my heart warms and I hear songs that remind me of you. you are so ordinary to everyone and to me you are everything.

I have no reason to want you. you broke me.

why do we love the ones who hurt us. all the time and emotions and everything was given to you.

and that's my fault for spilling everything out to you.

you didn't earn my love and that may be why you had to leave. -Ken