She doesn’t know quite yet

Who she wants to be.

She doesn’t know quite yet

How all her pieces fit together.

But she knows she’s getting there.

She knows she isn’t standing still anymore.

She knows she can’t let anything or anyone

Stop her from living

The life she’s always wanted.

Behind her blue eyes

And her forced smile,

She has a dream.

And finally,

She’s done giving up her dreams

For people who don’t really want

What’s best for her.

For the first time in her life,

She has a plan

That she won’t change for anyone.

For the first time in her life,

She won’t be standing on the sidelines

Watching everyone else

Find their happy endings.

For the first time in her life,

She knows it’s all going to work out.

I am a daisy in the center of a field of daisies.

The one no one can get to

That no one can see

That no one even knows is there.

I’m just waiting for the right person

To come and see

That I am no less than everyone else

Just because I am hidden.

I’m just as beautiful

As all the other daisies.

You just need to look a little harder.

I’m just waiting for the right person

To take me away

To a place where I’m the only daisy.

To a place where I stand out

As the unique and special person I am.

Why did we have to leave each other?

All I have left

Of the person I loved most

Is a bunch of useless facts

That will never do anything

But haunt me.

I know you’re an amazing artist

But you never feel happy drawing

Unless you know you're only drawing

Because you want to.

But now, I don’t even know

If you still draw.

I know your yard is exactly 2 acres.

But now, I don’t even know

If you’ve moved away

From the childhood home

You said was so beautiful

And peaceful.

I know you love your sister

More than anything

But you would never let her know.

But now, I don’t even know

What your relationship with her

Has turned into.

I know your mom is a poet.

I know you used to get

Most of your inspiration

From her beautiful poems.

But now, I don’t even know

If she still writes.

I know you don’t like most people

And prefer to keep to yourself.

Maybe that’s why we got along.

I don’t like people very much either.

But now, I don’t even know

If you have any friends.

Did I leave you with nothing?

I know you have a journal

And you have never once

Missed a day of writing in it.

I wonder if you ever wrote

Anything about me.

But now, I don’t even know

If you’ve missed a day yet.

I know so much about you.

So many small,

Wonderful details.

But there’s still so much

I never got to learn.

I missed out

On the bigger details.

When’s your birthday?

What do you want to do

With the rest of your life?

I don’t even know anything

About your own father.

You never mentioned him.

Not once.

But I’ll never get the answers

To any more questions.

Because when we left each other,

We promised that was it.

Neither of us deserves

To suffer through that pain

Once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

What

Can I say

To make you

Stay

~~~~~~~~~~~

(this comes to a total of 28 characters)

In a split second of absolute nothingness, I feel everything. In a second I probably won’t remember the next day, my world comes crashing down. Staring out the window of your car with my music blasting, I feel more, think more, experience more than one would think possible in a thousand lifetimes. My head rocks back and forth slowly to the beat. I can’t hear anything else. It consumes me. My music is the soundtrack of my world. A bird flies in front of your car. I envy how it never seems afraid of being hit. It knows where it wants to be and nothing, not even an object hurtling toward it at 50 miles per hour will get in its way. A single tree waves to the beat of my world. It seems to be saying hello. Or maybe it’s goodbye. You never know with trees. And as quickly as it came, it’s gone. No more birds, no more trees, even my music seems to have moved on without me, leaving me to miss that one beautiful, peaceful, happy moment. But it doesn’t matter to me for long. Soon, I have rejoined the world and that moment has joined many more, doomed to forever be forgotten. Even still, for a second at least, it meant something to me. Everything in my life so far had lead up to that moment. It was amazing. But not amazing enough to fit into the short list of moments which get to stay in my memory permanently. That one moment may have meant nothing, but for a second, it was everything.

I visited you for the first time today.

I couldn’t bring myself to do it before.

It’s been three years

Since I saw you last.

I know it’s been too long.

I just couldn’t do it before.

I had to say goodbye.

I don’t know if I’ll ever go back.

It’s strange to know you’re there.

We talked for hours.

There was so much to say.

So much to catch you up on.

I’m not the same person I was.

I want to know what you'd think

Of who I’ve become.

I wish you could meet my boyfriend

And my friends.

I wish you could see the people

Who have become such big parts

Of my new life.

But I just have to deal

With the way things are.

I visited you for the first time today.

I’m glad you couldn’t see my tears.

I’m glad there was no one

To tell me it’s fine.

Nothing is fine

Because you’re gone.

And all that’s left of you

Is a stupid stone in the ground.

You’re gone

And today,

I finally convinced myself

You aren’t coming back.

I finally said goodbye.

Don’t expect me to go back.

Don’t expect me to get over it.

You’re gone

And for the first time ever,

I can’t do anything

To make it all better.

Listening is important.

When you listen, you learn.

When you listen, you get to know people.

When you learn to listen,

You learn to live.

Love is amazing and horrible at the same time.

Love can make you happier than anything else,

But it can also tear you down

Until you’re nothing at all.

But no matter what,

We will never stop wanting love.

Sadness is just a reminder

You’re still living and breathing.

It shows us that

Even when we don’t want to,

We can fall in love.

It shows us that there are people in our lives

Who mean more to us than anything.

Some people value different things.

Some want to make others happy.

Some care about power.

Some just want to make it through life.

No matter what others may believe,

We have to be peaceful

And never give up on what we know is right.

Would you be proud

If you knew me now?

Would you still love me

If you could see

All that the world

Has done to me?