How dare you let her break me.

How dare you hit the floor so hard.

You are so much stronger than this.

You think this was a beating?

If so then what the Hell has the rest of your life been.

If you really want to sit on the ground and sulk then go ahead.

Not like you listen anyway.

That's your problem, isn't it?

You never listen to me.

Either way, I suggest you get your ass out of the dirt and get back to pushing forward.

You can't linger here forever, and maybe next time brace for impact before you jump, it tends to soften the fall.

What?

You don't believe me?

I'm the one who takes the brunt of this so maybe you should just listen to me.

You knew it wouldn't last forever.

No, Don't cry.

We don't have time for that. fine. Listen.

We've got so much ahead of us. Just think about it.

There are plenty of other girls who would love someone like you, you just need to give it some time.

Dude we need to go.

I know it hurts, it hurts me to but we can't stay here.

You're just hurting yourself now.

Please listen.

You can't live like this.

Wake up and love yourself for once.

If not for yourself then for me.

Why?

How dare you ask that.

Because I don't think I could take being broken again.

You poured the fuel; I lit the matches. This house was rushed and it took far too long to burn it down. I only hope I can let go of this before it lets go of me. I can’t nor will I ever say it didn’t hurt. The lingering sting still haunts me. I wish it could’ve been mended but this house was built on nothing but sand. I should've seen it coming. I honestly probably did. There's just something about the blissful ignorance of falling in love that makes you wish that the end weren't so inevitable. It almost feels like a good dream that ends every morning. Like I relive the same homely feeling every night just for it to be ripped away. Every time I see you now I have a feeling in my heart like that of an empty stomach. All I can do is turn it away. You used to want to insist we remained friends. Now that seems like nothing but a ruse.

There is nothing left for me to do but burn it down. To shatter every mirror in this dilapidated house, and to light the fuel you left in place. There is no point left in trying to change this. There is nothing left but to leave it behind and to never look back. I can't pretend this is going to be easy, but when is it ever. I must do it for myself. I have to finally do something for me. I've tried to get through to you, and I've tried to fix it, but time and time again it is clear that fixed is not what you want. I just wish you had told me that sooner.

I do hope we can see each other again one day. And I do hope that you can remember me the same way as that of how I remember you, but for now, there is nothing left to say but our goodbyes, and it seems I'm the only one left who hasn't spoken. I hope this isn't to your detriment as your words were to mine. Tonight I leave, and I never look back. It's time for me to find somewhere else to call home. It's time that I stop longing for the embrace I once got and move to find a new embrace. I wish you well. Goodbye.

you know. I never got to tell you, "your shoes untied".

well yeah, you're not wearing shoes now, but like, you were 1 year, 3 weeks, 4 days, and 6 hours ago.

I mean, yeah it doesn't matter now, but it really bugged me at the time. like it really looked like you were going to trip, and I know you just have such bad balance, and it was really quite nerve-racking.

Well, I didn't get to tell you because you walked away so fast, and I had to get to class and so I just kinda let it go.

Well yeah, I guess it's a little weird that I still remember it, be heh. I guess we all have our quirks

Yeah, you're right super over specific.

So hows life going

Good, good. Yeah, I'm just kinda doing whatever I can to stay afloat.

Yeah, the world's a real crazy place.

Yeah, no sorry. This is really bugging me.

Yeah, well you see. Your fly is down.

That is all, have a nice day.

No problem, I'll see you later.

Thick, brown, and salty. It tastes alright. Nothing to ride home about. The carrots floating around are like crunchy sponges, and those potatoes could choke an elephant. I don't know why I bothered getting up for this. It's just kind of bland. If I had waited a few minutes, I probably could've made my own dinner. Granted if I had done that, then I wouldn't get any cornbread and cornbread is the real reason I got up. Though even that has better partners than beef chunks in meat-flavored water. Like whatever happened to that vegetable soup that everyone likes? Or better yet, potato stew! I just don't get it. Why this stuff? It tastes so bland, it makes a slice of bread taste like cake. Like, couldn't we have just eaten out? I bet McDonald's would have more flavor than this. I mean it's not my fault the family recipe tastes like water seasoned with dirt. The packets from the store taste a heck of a lot better, just saying. I mean, if it was the last thing on earth, maybe I'd like it, but really it's just kinda gross and bland. Even the beef chunks are dry. Like how do you manage to make BEEF STEW with dry beef chunks? That's like literally something that doesn't happen. Maybe you should try leaving the cooking to someone else. If I were cooking we'd be eating...

Hey. I know it's been pretty rough. You've gone through some shit no one should have to deal with. But I need you to believe me when I tell you you're better off for it. I know it hurts now, but believe me, you'll do some great things, and you'll meet some great people. You'll get through this just like I did. One day you'll meet someone who will change your life. she'll be your best friend. No. She'll be like your own sister. You'll go through everything together. You'll be an idiot, and she'll ground you to earth. Everything you do, she has an opinion on. she's truly the best friend you'll ever have.

But hold on. we aren't through this yet. things will get way worse before they get better, but don't worry, because you'll meet a friendly giant who will show you how to live your life once more. He'll teach you things you never knew, and you'll be the best friend he has (his words by the way). you'll meet a girl, and she's going to hate you, but that's not going to stop you from crushing on her for a year and eventually getting your heart broken. But believe me, you'll survive, and because of her, you'll learn the wonder of music, and even act in a play (and like it). Yeah. Those two things that you've hated basically all your life. oh and that computer crap you keep doing. yeah, that junk's boring now. you're gonna wanna get into English. It's a heck of a lot of fun.

You're going to reach your first low at the end of your first year at your new home, but you shouldn't worry, because you'll have writing and music to turn to. Those are real lifesavers, you know. and after a whole summer of being bored as heck, you're going to meet a really cute girl. she's really the best. her brother becomes your PE talking buddy, and you're going to start sitting at a table at lunch with a chic you hate simply because your friend wants you to. other than that, super uneventful. well push comes to shove, and you end up dancing with the cute girl in theater, and from that moment you will literally be in awe. the weirdest feeling ever. later on, you ask her out. And you won't believe what she says. She actually says yes. You date for a month and a half and you'll be really close, but don't let your wants get in the way. it's not meant to be. You'll break up. you'll reach your 2nd low as the world begins to crumble around you. you'll be trapped at home. you'll try to work things out and it won't work. all will seem lost. Eventually, she'll stop talking to you and it will be the worst feeling you've ever felt, in your life. But chin up. Life moves on, and you will be happy again. I wish I could tell you more but I really must be off.

Yours truly~ You

There is a difference between courage and fearlessness. To be fearless is to be ignorant and stupid in your ways, but to be courageous is to know you’re afraid and yet to still be in control. Courage is not the ability to have no fear, as to no longer be human, rather it is to be able to look at your fears head-on and admit you’re afraid but to continue to stand.

I fear tomorrow as I fear an hour from now. I do not know what will happen nor do I know if I’ll even have a tomorrow, but whether I do don’t doesn’t matter. I am to live in the present for the future, not in the future of the present. An ant does not worry about whether she will be crushed within the next minute but instead works vigilantly for the time she has for her sisters and mother.

We are in the middle of a trying time. Fear is all around us. Fear is within us. If anyone tells you that they don’t fear tomorrow they have lied. The truth is we are all scared but that fear should never be given control. In the months that are to follow, ask yourself something. Is your life finished? The answer should be “I don’t know”, because the truth is most of us don’t know. We don’t know the future. Not even our own. But courage is the ability to stand up and say to the unknown that you don’t own me. Stand up and say to each other, the truth. You are scared. We all are, but isn’t that what makes us human? Aren’t we supposed to help our neighbors through hardships, loving them as if they were of our own family?

I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that whether we like it or not, Future is readying his pitching arm for the throw, and we need to be ready to catch it scared or not. Because that is what separates courageous from the cowards

Chin up, cuz the sky is blue and blue is the best color. You could tell me I'm wrong but to tell me I'm wrong would be to tell me that the sky is not my friend and then where is my chin to go but down to stare at the ground, and what's so great about the ground? Isn't it quite brown, that ground? I much prefer the sky which by now is dark, but I can't say I hate the dark, as the moon leaves its mark, on the ground below. So chin up I say. Chin up to the sky. To see the moon. To see the stars. To see the entirety of heaven looking upon you as you find your way to them, and as the morning sun rises, chin up to see what's next, because if your busy looking down, you're missing the joys ahead. So I say once more. Chin up.

I used to look at the night sky. I used to look at the stars.I’d say to myself “I want to be as bright as them”, but then I realized that they all dull in comparison to one another. There is not a single star in the sky that can truly beat out another. They all one day fade. We all one day fade. Running the race of life until one day we stop. We all have to stop. We all breathe our last breath sooner or later. So why waste our chance looking at the stars. Why waste your time under the heavens, running a race that can never be won.

We all dream that one day we will reach the stars, but what else is truly at that peak? How far would you go to see your success? Who would you have to step on, and would you stomp their flame just for yours to grow?

The sad truth is we are all slaves to this world. We all run the race that can never be won. Individuality is a myth for so many of us. We live with that nightmare every day.

I used to wish to be as bright as the stars but the truth is that to reach the top is to hit the bottom and I pray that I never kill a fire to fuel my flame. The sky’s the limit that we shouldn’t try to reach

Today should be celebrated, but for me, it won’t ever be the same again. I hope you’re enjoying your day, dad. I know you’ll never read this but I want you to know that I still pray for you. I’m still the imaginative little boy that you knew so long ago. Sometimes I imagine that one day you’ll put down your beer and come back to me. Maybe we could watch Star Wars again as we used too. I could tell you how everything has been. I could tell you about my friends. Maybe even show you my skills with a bow.

I know you’re never coming back but I just want you to know I hope you’re happy with where ever life has taken you. I don’t know that if I saw you if I’d be able to recognize the same man that I used to look up to. The man that put imagination into me. All I can see in you now is the sins I commit. I know you hurt. I wish I could tell you it gets better but I can’t say it has for me. I hope one day (even if you never come back to me) you find the God in heaven. I hope I get to see you when it’s all over. I hope you never forget me. I hope I can cling to my few happy thoughts of you for as long as I can. I don’t want to let you go. I want to see you again. I want to see you happy. I want to be able to tell you my joys, and my sorrows. I want you to be there for me to talk to.

Sometimes I dream about the day I finally see you for more than the cross I must carry. I pray that one day you’ll see the light shine in the hole you’ve dug. I want to dig you out, but I can’t.

I’ve lost my hope of ever feeling the same way about you. I one day hope that I can manage to love you again. Maybe you’ll see me again and it’ll be enough for you to finally come home. The words you last said to me may have been from your mouth but I know that there is still love in you. A love that I one day want to see again.

My wish on this day. A day when hope seems farther than ever. My wish is that one day I can find you. I want to save you. In your old age, I want to be by your bedside reading you to sleep as you did for me so long ago. I want you to see how your little boy has grown. I want to show you the joy that I needed from you. No matter what you may have said that night, I am your son, and you are my dad. I love you and I pray for you. One day I’ll see you again. I hope you're doing well.

-Your Forever Son

Happy Father’s Day