her hair ran down her back

black, like a river.

we were sitting on the sofa

her child in my lap.

I said: happy birthday, momma

now you’re not a teen anymore

she said: really?

I said: no, you’re twenty. like me

she said: oh

I said: life is getting serious and smiled

she kept quiet

I was right

he had such pretty big brown eyes

an open face

a mind so bright

meanwhile so much has happened

and today I only hope

that he won’t remember any of it

as he is just one year old

he won’t recall me, that’s for sure

barely ever saw me

just for our weekly walk

or when she threw his food

across the room

shouting at my face that this stupid kid

never eats what she cooks

don’t call him that, I insisted

but always softly, too restrained and I know

now that he’s somewhere else

if anything he will remembers his mom yell

I just hope he won’t.

you

turn winter into spring

when the skin besides

your sky-blue eyes

wrinkles so sweetly

i can't describe

the butterflies

that free up in me

flying wildly

when you smile

how my soul sings

and when it cries

you make it right

you've given me strings

and i trust in them

you've given me wings

trying to make me

embrace my life.

crisp air

blue sky

short hair

bright eyes

and i watch you go,

roam

the streets of the city

you fit here so well

you're smart and you're witty

i dropped you off

with a bag and a moving box

while your parents were busy

and see how the time flies

how much you've bloomed

while i was gone

how good you healed

from getting torn

i love to see you like this

i like to have you shine

maybe i’m being selfish

hoping you won't outgrow me

and i watch you go,

roam

the streets of the city.

i picture you sit

bent forward on my bed

soft skin wrapped

in sunlit linen sheets

your naked back

reveals a universe

and golden curls

fall into your neck

the lines of your body

run into honey

colored hands

how deeply i long for you

each morning

in my chest my love

expands.

you said it's sad

stacks of poetry

unread

i'm losing track

tear me open and hold it back

bleeding onto sheets of paper

gives you stains and specks

you may like to listen now

but if i were a playlist

you hadn't heard most of it yet

and i doubt that you like

every song that i hold

or word that i wrote

more than the courage

i lack

the most intimate thing she had done

was to trust someone.

peeled off her layers

exposed to the sun,

unknown corners of her soul,

naked scars and wounds,

her bare heart and the sounds of her

past in her mouth,

overcoming the fear of revealing

what is beneath skin,

and withholding judgement, he took it in

and he listened and followed and

gave her the space,

gently offering a hand;

then he peeled off his layers

exposed to the sun,

unknown corners of his soul,

naked scars and wounds,

his bare heart and the sounds of his

past in his mouth,

overcoming the fears of revealing

what is beneath skin,

and withholding judgement, she took it in

and she listened and followed and

gave him the space,

gently offering a hand -

the most intimate thing he had done

was to trust someone.

so, i guess my favorite books would be

- the perks of being a wallflower (by stephen chbosky)

- looking for alaska (by john green)

- paper towns (also by the john green genius)

- all the bright places (by jennifer niven)

- eleanor & park (by rainbow rowell)

- the catcher in the rye (by j.d. salinger)

- alice in wonderland (by lewis carroll)

i would describe the first six of these as american coming of age kind of novels, that represent teenagers not one-sided but deeply complicated and contrary. they all somewhat concern mental health and deal with multiple questions about life, death, love, friendship, forgiveness, self-discovery and so on. i don’t know- i just really like youth books and although i might grow too old for them slowly but surely and although english isn’t my mother tongue at all, those books in their origanal language have inspired me more than any.

so, these are my recommendations to you. although i could imagine if you don’t like one or two of these you might not like the rest either, but everyone’s different..

(i’m sorry if the book discribtions you asked for is only one and really generalized, i just really didn’t feel like discribing each of these as i put seven)

i was bruised when we met

black and blue in my head

you called me a pessimist

tired of life when you told me

i hadn't lived, seventeen

watched you drown

your worries in high-proof drinks

craving to feel different stories

clearly having problems of your own

i stayed for a kiss of your liquor lips

you left me alone but

you never broke my heart

you only made me sick

we once looked like shooting stars

but we were just

actors and escapists

what do you want, why do you stay

what do think i could give anyway

do you expect me to be

a resource i'm not

have i ever had it in me

because right now i’m empty

wish i were a light to your universe

but i can't find the power to shine

can't even find right words to talk

maybe it’s time for you to walk away

because i'm out of stock

can't drain from me what i haven't got

i really feel i don’t deserve you

in my current life

because i have nothing just to offer

you're like my guest and all i have at home

is water