The older I get, the more I realize it’s all a great strange dream

Just like Keuorac said

Sometimes I try desperately to read between the lines

Interpret every person, place and thing as a symbol of something larger

Searching for a pattern or direction that will make it all make sense

When the truth may very well be

That there is n o t r u t h a t a l l

No grand plan where the pieces fit together just so

But rather

Life is a great strange dream

Like the one you have after eating street meat

You walk on the ceiling and see your long dead dog

And wonder if the buzzing in your ears is a swarm of jolly bumble bees

or just your alarm clock

our love,

the sun turned

red giant.

expands

to consume

all in its path.

Mercury and Venus,

lost forever.

as our desire

burns its last bit

of fuel.

collapsing

into a dense

white dwarf,

devoid of fusion.

the memory of us,

a luminescent reminder

of what was.

and they wonder,

at our glow.

the final

evolutionary state

of us all,

even starfire ends.

hour glass

they call it,

my curves.

the end numbers

used to

match up precisely.

hips spread

in recent years.

in anticipation,

of a baby

i refuse

to grow within.

not that

i don’t enjoy

taking you

into my body.

it’s my

pinnacle, when you

release your

seed into me.

i’m certain

a deep primal

explanation exists.

i don’t care

to examine.

i’ve simply never

wanted to

bring tiny humans

into this

sad broken world.

never met

a man that

could live

up to title

of Father.

i had three

flawed examples.

i know for

a fact

it is an

impossible job.

one very few

men can

handle and i

refuse to

go solo for

such an

important life commitment.

i will

continue to protect

my womb,

and enjoy practicing.

explore my

valleys and caves.

run your

fingers along my

milky skin.

climb my peaks,

dive into

my abyss and

bathe in

my hot springs.

no obligations

i made it

most of my life

before the dark beast

wrapped its slimy form

around my core

burrowed deep

coiled its tail around my spine

claws digging

for a better grip

it whispers

so softly

words only I can hear

telling me I need it

to keep me warm

to keep me company

i’ll never be alone again

now that the beast has come...

Our time on this planet as a species,

barely the blink of an eye to Mother Earth.

Do you think dinosaurs contemplated the meaning of life?

Did they worship something?

Anything at all, the sun maybe?

Tilting their scaly heads upward,

drinking in the delicious warmth,

believing their God only returned so long as they paid tribute.

Or is that just a Homo Sapien thing?

The need for purpose,

to believe in a meaningful existence.

What about the Denisovans or Neanderthals?

Did the last Neanderthal know she was the end of her kind,

could she sense it?

Sometimes I feel as if I too am the last of my kind.

Staring at that bit of unassigned DNA on my report.

Amazed by the insanity that plagues our planet.

Does anyone else question the fabric of this reality?

Where is the rest of my tribe?

Do dogs worships humans as Gods?

Do pigs think they are in hell?

I would if I were them.

Do cats think they really are guardians of the underworld?

What if the Egyptians were right and you can take your material wealth with you?

Why do I always have a song playing in my head?

When the big life sustaining star in the sky finally dies will humans still exist to witness it?

The emotions one would face,

such a powerful ending.

Do chickens know their ancestors once ruled the earth?

I hope not,

I watched them pick the bones of our Christmas Turkey clean.

I am grateful to be much larger than those tiny raptors.

Whatever happened to ‘Storm Area 51’?

Do aliens exist or are we the aliens?

It’s kinda conceited to think we are the only life forms in all the universe.

Plus the orange man did create an actual Spaceforce after being told the nations secrets, the things that make you go...hmmmmm.

I sometimes think I must have many more revolutions to go on this earth because my brain has too many questions to be considered complete.

Like that Doctor Who episode where an organically enhanced ship went back in time to harvest a brain for its processor.

They had to locate the correct year in which the targets brain was complete.

I wonder when my year will come.

Are you complete?

What questions do you have?

What answers will you share with me?

Discuss.

I look her way and catch her eye,

She leads me where the wood seclude.

The clearing opens up the sky,

We find ourselves in solitude.

Dressed in gowns with lace and frills,

We waltz among the daffodils.

My 6 year old son sleep-ate a donut,

And my husband got it on camera.

I just watch that video over and over.

It has everything I love most:

My baby's Beatles haircut

- with bonus bedhead -

My husband's Pillsbury Doughboy laugh,

Evidence my son's neurodiverse brain

Will bring him as much fun as it will fight,

And

An inherited passion for donuts.

I’m fully taking this as an opportunity to gush about Hozier. I love all of his songs and I talk about him enough that *most* of my friends started listening to more of his music. He’s most well known for the song Take Me To Church, which is an absolute bop that fits about every single emotion I’ve ever felt. It’s my go-to song for scream-singing with a group of friends late at night, but it’s also the perfect soundtrack for all of my mental breakdowns. Just saying.

If I absolutely had to choose just one song from him, I’d probably start with Jackie and Wilson, but then I go and list all the other ones that come to mind:

-As It Was

-Dinner and Diatribes

-From Eden

-In A Week (feat. Karen Cowley)

-Shrike

-Would That I

I’ll stop myself now, but honestly, all of his songs are good.

Also, he accidentally uploaded this video to his Instagram story and I have it bookmarked on my computer and probably watch it way too often https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tQ-CRfZrhk

✴✷✴

Even though I do have a playlist of entirely Hozier songs, I listen to a bunch of other underappreciated artists too:

Chloe Moriondo- I love her Spirit Orb EP, and I’m considering the song Bugbear as my graduation song. Her Youtube channel has a ton of song covers, and she just makes me smile. Also, I’m obsessed with her music video for Kindergarten - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIs5il5HHyw

Mxmtoon- Her music has a more calm vibe to it, I really like her Dawn & Dusk album. There’s this concert video that popped up in my Youtube recommendations that I also have bookmarked- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJlVuZYA-J4. I don’t know if this is something I would laugh at if I didn’t already know the song but there’s that.

Cavetown- Not one of my absolute favorites, but worth mentioning because he still has a lot of good songs. My favorite is probably Devil Town (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBWQ2vVH43g this version in particular) Also, his music videos are really cute, I love the chaos in Lemon Boy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-itZVX-SUkI), and the art for Home is gorgeous (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2APLh8_ExU0). He also did a song featuring Chloe Moriondo called Snail, and her background vocals in that just get me every time.

Cullen Vance- My favorite Celtic musician. He has a cover for Fireflies which I love (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMAqzxHcGxs) and a cover of Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom which makes me laugh (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGEIWXAzKZI) Also, no hate but it’s better than the original.

Yungblud- This one probably looks out of place, but I’d be lying to myself if I denied enjoying his music. He appeals to the angsty teenager in me.

✴✷✴

And some songs I have on repeat recently:

Once- Kayar

Girls- Girl In Red

Daylight- Joji, Diplo

Boys Like You- Dodie

1980s Horror Film II- Wallows

Glitter and Gold- Barns Courtney

Line Without a Hook- Ricky Montgomery

Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

It Wasn’t Me- Shaggy, Rik Rok

Georgia- Pheobe Bridgers

Dirty Nikes- Ruth B