untitled
Remember the little girl who said she’s too dark?
Not seeing anyone on TV like her unless she was skinner and lighter?
Rising beyond your disposition to only be told to stay quiet or be “angry” or “aggressive”, but still a woman
All while holding in the pain that came with the parts that society wants to claim for themselves:
Your hair, your lips, your thighs, my pride, but never your melanin.
What shines in the sunlight and glistens in the stars
Destined for you by your mothers mothers.
Well look now little girl:
Since they’ll pay to look like us: fake tan, asses and lips
The world is changing, backwards and forwards
Just remember who you are…..so.much.more
--- I’m a Black Woman
Song reference: Black Woman - Danielle Brooks
SCARRED
I tread lightly, but give my all to conform to your embrace:
thrashed to the winds, no regards for the merciless tides.
asking myself in silence: is this surplus of pain worth your miniscule calm waters?
my feet are blistered and scarred
my hands wrinkled and worn
my eyes red and weary
my heart….just tired
yet I cling to your crashes and sways, no regard for the obstacles and dangers
as with that pain and sorrow was momentary peace and serenity
now, waking on the barren shores, my body is healing
my heart, slowly, and in time, will.
yet, I often long for your embrace, throbbing scars as the final reminiscence
revenge?
once in my oasis, now drawn,
thrusted almost,
into unsteady ground
though not where, I know who’s here:
with skin of teakwood and ash
lips larger than life
but with those scars, I knew it was you:
you that gave me false love
you that broke me in two
you that stole my innocence without a second thought
for the first time, I’m seeing you in
a state of innocence, your life
hanging in the balance of life and death
I stalk the drapes of your bedroom,
hushed as a starved rat, seizing every inch
of what can end all of you in an instant
but without a second thought,
I let you live, causing a distraction
leading the reaper to another target
why you ask? not for anyone but you
I wanted you to feel what I felt:
out of control, fearful, innocent
and never have that back
not just feel it, but live it, like I did
International Women’s Day
Females. Ladies. Girls. Women.
Living different Lives
Believing different Faiths
Having different Bodies and Colors
All with Commonality; Beauty.
Beauty in your Own Decisions
Beauty in your Own Love
Beauty in your Own Skin
Believe. Learn. Live. And Love It.
#women#interntaionalwomensday#empowerwomen
finalement
neither old or young
weak or strong
can escape from
life’s only certainty
I, young,
not yet so old
lie here
savoring life’s last breaths
I simmer
on life,
on love,
on how it’s bested me,
how I’ve lied,
been lied to times over,
been loved,
and been left in the cold,
how I’ve tried
my best to live
but failed to
barely exist
now, I slowly
cease to exist
losing grip on life’s
single tattered string
mother time approaches
with a smile
sealing my fate with
her gentle touch
to those I’ve loved and lost:
"Goodbye,
you’re better off
without me".
Where am I?
Countries, continents and universes from what I know
Thoughts of you wanders aimlessly, trotting, racing through my mind,
Making it hard to see if you can have them anymore
A bucket of ashes, that’s what you’ve become
The leftovers of the man that you were:
Protector, brother, friend, my father.
I’m anxious..I’m scared...I miss you
We’re two hours north from our sweaty cheap hostel
Through residential streets and marine bases and camps
Down a small set of stairs we find it,
An abandoned cove, private, where no one will see
Ashes in the sea, that is where we left you
Where you wanted to be, where you wanted to stay
I’m anxious...I’m scared...this is goodbye.
--- Cove's Edge
< present moment>
yesterday we were over; I felt everything.
it was never your intention, but you hurt me beyond my core.
your touch, what I craved in utter silence,
your voice, what subdued my inner termoil.
that night, there was a moment of violent screams and tears;
the only control I knew I had to keep my feelings at bay.
now, I’m alone; I can’t feel anything.
----- why did you leave me?
The Blame Game
Boredom sets in.
1st semester college finals
Love of Travel, Musicals and Les Miserables;
That’s how I met her. My Best Friend.
Stringy blonde hair
Pale blue eyes
Small frame
Somehow we clicked:
We shared twin beds,
bikinis in the summer,
and joys and sorrows year round;
Now, who’s to blame?
You: too drunk
and violent to tell me you
might be carrying his
baby?
Me: so weighted by
anxiety watching you hit
him that I left to save
myself?
That’s how I lost her. my friend.
Now it’s different:
No drunk Skype calls screaming
about dropping charges against your rapist?
No more voicemails shouting,
“Fuck you, I can handle myself.”
No more calls from your parents
wanting me to get you out of the psych ward.
No. More.
Now, I’m Free.
Thank you, Friend.