once in my oasis, now drawn,
into unsteady ground
though not where, I know who’s here:
with skin of teakwood and ash
lips larger than life
but with those scars, I knew it was you:
you that gave me false love
you that broke me in two
you that stole my innocence without a second thought
for the first time, I’m seeing you in
a state of innocence, your life
hanging in the balance of life and death
I stalk the drapes of your bedroom,
hushed as a starved rat, seizing every inch
of what can end all of you in an instant
but without a second thought,
I let you live, causing a distraction
leading the reaper to another target
why you ask? not for anyone but you
I wanted you to feel what I felt:
out of control, fearful, innocent
and never have that back
not just feel it, but live it, like I did
your words muted
your scents faint
and though illusive, your touch brings ecstasy
every touch like summer shivers
every kiss pierces with wintery blaze
every morsel of eloquent phrases
far from sin
far from immoral
far from unwanted
…embrace me always
International Women’s Day
Females. Ladies. Girls. Women.
Living different Lives
Believing different Faiths
Having different Bodies and Colors
All with Commonality; Beauty.
Beauty in your Own Decisions
Beauty in your Own Love
Beauty in your Own Skin
Believe. Learn. Live. And Love It.
neither old or young
weak or strong
can escape from
life’s only certainty
not yet so old
savoring life’s last breaths
on how it’s bested me,
how I’ve lied,
been lied to times over,
and been left in the cold,
how I’ve tried
my best to live
but failed to
now, I slowly
cease to exist
losing grip on life’s
single tattered string
mother time approaches
with a smile
sealing my fate with
her gentle touch
to those I’ve loved and lost:
you’re better off
Where am I?
Countries, continents and universes from what I know
Thoughts of you wanders aimlessly, trotting, racing through my mind,
Making it hard to see if you can have them anymore
A bucket of ashes, that’s what you’ve become
The leftovers of the man that you were:
Protector, brother, friend, my father.
I’m anxious..I’m scared...I miss you
We’re two hours north from our sweaty cheap hostel
Through residential streets and marine bases and camps
Down a small set of stairs we find it,
An abandoned cove, private, where no one will see
Ashes in the sea, that is where we left you
Where you wanted to be, where you wanted to stay
I’m anxious...I’m scared...this is goodbye.
--- Cove's Edge
i’m alone in a busy coffee shop;
words are coming
in unsteady waves,
scraping in journal entries
to keep me sane,
keeping face to not show
my inner fears,
but am I lonely?
it’s hard to tell.
< present moment>
yesterday we were over; I felt everything.
it was never your intention, but you hurt me beyond my core.
your touch, what I craved in utter silence,
your voice, what subdued my inner termoil.
that night, there was a moment of violent screams and tears;
the only control I knew I had to keep my feelings at bay.
now, I’m alone; I can’t feel anything.
----- why did you leave me?
The Blame Game
Boredom sets in.
1st semester college finals
Love of Travel, Musicals and Les Miserables;
That’s how I met her. My Best Friend.
Stringy blonde hair
Pale blue eyes
Somehow we clicked:
We shared twin beds,
bikinis in the summer,
and joys and sorrows year round;
Now, who’s to blame?
You: too drunk
and violent to tell me you
might be carrying his
Me: so weighted by
anxiety watching you hit
him that I left to save
That’s how I lost her. my friend.
Now it’s different:
No drunk Skype calls screaming
about dropping charges against your rapist?
No more voicemails shouting,
“Fuck you, I can handle myself.”
No more calls from your parents
wanting me to get you out of the psych ward.
Now, I’m Free.
Thank you, Friend.
My body, my canvas
My mind, my library
slowly drifting; transparent
in ripples of icy waters
....eyes wide open
Our feet; serene, buried in
endless sand castles
My hands, clamy and
thrilled from holding yours
Our fingers, intertwined
in an empty house
Your lips, kissing my
cheek with tears in my
The ink well runs on
blank pages as words
schoolboys on tree branches
You gave me the words to write again.
my peace of mind,
From Dust to Envy
It started with a bed:
A night of seemingly married bliss
brought a girl that didn’t ask for anything.
She adored what life gave to her
as a father:
Smart, sensitive, funny, brave,
Listened when she cried
Held her when she grieved
Praised her when she lived her dreams.
All this, and he was flawed:
A secret keeper,
And in his eyes,
A burden to those who loved him.
His life was only an existence, until Death
payed him a hasty visit;
They chatted on what comes after:
mistakes that can’t be changed,
wrongs that will never be made right,
and when it would all be over.
His existence left him slowly and
all she could do was watch.
It ended with a bed; he was gone.
A phone call in a lonely apartment sent a
downward spiral to her feet:
She shrieked, she cursed to the world, she punched walls
Truly, she envied Death:
The taker of the man she adored,
his gateway to his final eternity,
his one companion into something new.
all she did was cry.
Death has no compassion.
Her life continues as an existence.
She is her father’s daughter.