I have this idea for a book but I am unsure exactly where to start. Do I keep it pg-13 or do I dive into my want for some pretty dark romance? Do I use the book as an outlet for my current relationship questions? Writing pretty much is my therapy and I haven't picked it up in about 4 years now because I sit in front of an empty page with so much to say and no idea where to start. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I am struggling to stay sober and its never been an issue for me. Maybe it's because now with antidepressants I can't drink so I want to? who genuinely knows. I thought I might start writing again after my divorce, initiated by yours truly, but I just didn't. I thought maybe if I found more time outside of my kids but I just don't. And now I browse the challenge section looking for a little bit of spark to want to write. Congrats! This is my first post since I was a teenager. I've been rereading a lot of my old posts, and I realize that I was always a glaring red flag. I've had a hell of a year, officially being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and major depression was like an oh that's what happened that actually really makes sense and the sinking feeling that I won't ever be as close to normal as I want to be. Not that bpd can't be treated, but I will always be so so sensitive and overemotional and overdramatic, I will always feel the emotion attempt to consume me it feels so pointless at times. Anyways, back to original idea here, the book. I've had this idea for years, and it definitely requires more research into cults and structuring one to write about. I have this idea of a young woman who joined this cult to leave a tumultuous life behind with her young son, but the cult separates parents from children so that they are more moldable. The book will bounce back and forth between the son's perspective, mom's perspective, and the father's perspective. I plan to have it wrap around and say the life she left wasn't even tumultuous at all, the girl is just struggling mentally and yeah that is a reflection of me. Not that I regret leaving my marriage no, but I do often wonder if, with a lot of situations I've left, was I just overreacting or was it in fact that bad? One thing you'll learn is I just don't give up easily on anything, especially people, and that makes me a magnet for people who have no real desire to change. I tend to like my friends and significant others to be just as damaged as I am in a sense, probably because I do not know how to love me but I like to give the love I wish I could have. It tears me up every single time I do so, but I live in a constant state of crisis anyways why not? Why not turn this negativity in my head into something positive for someone else? I don't regret giving out that love because obviously they needed it, but I do regret letting it consume me to such an extent. I don't know if I should make it a one off novel or sequels. I should probably plan it but I also don't write well with a plan. It's gotta be the moment or nothing at all. I think I'll just publish it online because who reads hard copies anymore? I think I'll start on that book shortly after I am done with this challenge. Should I start it in the middle of action or should I build up the setting first? I don't like a heavy build up on setting, but I think it's important to grasp the cult vibes before it's ever called a cult. I think it would be a great movie/tv show too, but I don't know how to write screen plays. I could animate it, that would be quite fun, but I'd have to pay for animation software and learn it all over again. Animation on the computer was something I learned in high school that I actually liked it wasn't half bad. Maybe I'm just the creative type who knows? I've been talking with a friend who makes music, beats and lyrics, and I am so impressed because -