Never Ready.

I’m walking home. There’s a storm around me. Raging, tumultuous and vengeful. The fear and excitement i feel is acute, if my thumping heart is any indication. I feel free. I feel brave. I feel confused. With that perfect mix, i look up and let the raindrops sting my eyes as i beg for death by the formidable bolt of Zeus. From Mount Olympus to my ticking heart, i do beg! Stop time!

The highway is a living breathing beast with a mind of it’s own. The vehicles, it’s lifeblood, the only sustenance it needs to roar and hiss. As i stand there, my dress fluttering to the wind being whipped up, i wonder if the beast will welcome me so that i can be one with it.

“I just want to fly…” “..but i will fall..” “..yet as i hurtle down down down…”

my grip on the railing tightens

“…i will call upon the mighty dragon in my heart to take flight and fly far far away into the galaxy, with my beaten broken soul in her grasp.”

Sometimes, when my mind is especially loud with the silence, i stare at the promise of peace in my hand. Flushing away broken promises is my new forte.

I remain a coward if only to live one more day. Tuck away another memory. For when I’m ready.