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Write a formal apology to the body parts you accidentally injure most often or with the greatest intensity. Identify your personal cause of clumsiness, i.e. impatience, shortsightedness, and giddy thrills. This is meant to be lighthearted; please avoid sinister forms of self-harm unless the result is somehow hilarious.
Cover image for post Dear Hipbones,, by nfaulk6
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nfaulk6 in Education
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Dear Hipbones,

I want to take a moment to apologize profusely for your permanent bruising (especially the left one) as a result of my clumsy stumbling to the bathroom late at night in the dark. It wasn't my fault that I was born with such long legs so you are the perfect doorknob height for these purely unintended bumps. I suppose it is my fault, however, for keeping in shape so that you protrude absent any fat covering. But that's not going to change.

I suppose I should also extend atonement to my fingertips for my constant nail-biting (especially during football games, particularly those where my Chargers blow a fourth-quarter lead like they have four times already this season) and incessant typing. You little guys are tough, indeed. Keep up the good work!

Love,

Me  

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