Harry Situation’s 12 Days of Holiday Reviews: The First Christmas: The Story of the First Christmas Snow
And now we are in unfamiliar territory for this next special. As in I don't have any memory watching this special at all. I don't have much to say about this special because there isn't much to say about it. It's completely forgettable.
This special is about a young shepherd boy named Lucas, who becomes blinded by a freak lightning storm. Funny, usually you get killed or get an awesome looking scar after being hit by lightning but whatever. He's taken under the care of the kind nuns at their abbey but the priest insists that Lucas must be taken to an orphanage due that he has no parents. And no I'm not going to make any pedophile priest jokes in this review. Period!
So throughout the special nothing happens. There's no crisis, no threat to the abbey, nothing to actually get the plot movie. Just for whatever reason he's just hanging out at the abbey and talking to the nuns and the kids there but that's all there is. It's basically a Rankin/Bass version of a Seinfeld episode. I guess the only other thing is that Lucas becomes part of the choir and he sings, and then snow falls and...he's cured of his...blindness? What the fuck?!? You're really trying me here, aren't you Rankin and Bass? I can look past Baby Jesus resurrecting a dead animal, I can look past Baby Jesus pulling a Jedi mind trick, but if you think I'm going to accept the fact that snowfall cures blindness because Jesus or whatever, you're fucked in the head! I guess you can get away with any bullshit just as long as you say, "Cuz Jesus" somewhere.
Hey everybody! I wrote a story where the devil is married and now a loving father! What? You can't do that! Why would you do such a thing? Cuz Jesus! Okay, that makes perfect sense.
Just to be clear I'm not trying to be mean or step on anyone's toes. Believe what you want to and I'm cool with that. I have my opinion and you have yours, so to each their own as they say. Just don't shun anyone who doesn't believe in what you believe or try to force your beliefs down their throats. Now put away those torches and pitchforks and cut me out of this noose, will ya?
Another thing that rubbed me the wrong way is when they state that like a good shepherd Lucas starts worrying about what will happen to his sheep after being blinded. If I was that kid I wouldn't care about my sheep. I've just been blind, I'd be freaking my shit out. I'd be wanting my parents. In fact, where the fuck are his parents again? Am I to assume that they are trapped inside the dimensional realm along with the dead Disney parents and missing fathers of Pokemon trainers?
Here's my biggest problem with the special: the voice acting is terrible. You can tell that the children are being voiced by child actors based on their less-than enthusiastic performances. God, I just want these fucking brats to at least try to emote. Give me some emotion! At least try, goddammit! The story's pretty weak too. I could even explain it to you even if you'd ask nicely.
Is there anything good about this special? Well, this special does feature the song 'White Christmas'. Not Bing Crosby's version but still. And it's thankfully short. Other than that I don't know what else I can say. This wasn't their best, but it certainly wasn't their worst.
Positives: Negatives:
-White Christmas -Forgettable
-Short -Bad voice acting
-Weak story
-Snow cures blindness? WTF?
Final Grade: D
Odds are you haven't seen this special so I won't ask that. So what's your favorite rendition of White Christmas? Do you think snow can cure blindness? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and check back for more holiday review specials!
Best Quote:
Lucas: "What a happy Christmas! The first real happy Christmas of my life."