[unsaved draft]

i did what i had to do, but the gods will condemn me still. the ashes that are my parents' old house, pictures of my bruises, invisible scars. after all this time, they're still here.

i want to forget it all and live out my life with you. i want to lose myself in your kiss, to fall asleep in your arms. you would cherish me and show me what i missed while i was hidden behind locked doors and muffled screams.

truly, i don't deserve someone as good as you. you, who grew up with two loving sisters and a brother who could do anything. you, whose feelings i danced around until i collapsed. instead of leaving, you helped me up.

i've met them. your family, i mean. they welcomed me with open arms and open hearts, gave me shelter. i would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my days teaching your little sister how to play the piano, to read stories with you until sunrise, to laugh with you and your beautiful family. i am truly, irreversibly in love.

but one night, your sister—older sister, as the younger one was already asleep—told me about your sleepless nights and your brother's job, and how much it took you to get here.

and i love you too much to take that away.

so please, i beg of you, please move on. i can't taint you with my past. you are just so good, and i am beyond saving.

goodbye.

[draft deleted]