I Matter

I sit in class listening to the nonsense I am being taught. I'm wasting my precious life here in a classroom learning about something that I'll easily forget.

Then it hits me. My life. I'm wasting it. I'm breathing for no reason. There's no point. It's all useless. Everything that I do is pointless. Just like my existence. I can't breathe. I'm on the floor curled up in the fetal position trying to return to my original state. I'm choking on the air that once helped me breathe.

I hate everything. I don't want to be here. I don't want to live in this world. It's pointless. I'm pointless. I don't deserve to matter. I don't deserve the attention I'm getting. I want to die.

Black.

I'm breathing again in a hospital room. I look at everyone in the room. The mirror was the only one that caught my eye. I looked healthy, but I was sick.

I was still alive and yet I constantly felt like dying. My heart melted along with my happiness. Nothing tied me here except my human body. My existence tied me here.

I want to believe I matter.

But do I actually matter?

No.