IN THIS SANCTUARY
Little birds tend to fly away
Do not stay for captivity, for oppression
It is a cage because it is not a home
It is not a home because the walls are made of
Heartless laughter resonating against iron bars
And the dust on your skin mingles with cyanide
Breathing toxicity into the air I breathe
Seeding doubt where you are the one where doubt is due
Making your sins my own
Driving your nails through my hands
Onto this wood. Enough darkness –
I will flee in the beauty and melancholy of
Tchaikovsky in the violin concerto
Where you cannot find me
Imprisoning my body but without soul
And without soul it shall be useless
A chirping bird that speaks of nothing
And that cannot sing.
I am hiding in that melody
That drifts across space and time
And is heard again and again
By the multitudes which are always enchanted
By so much loveliness. When I listen
I hear a consolation beyond words
Music is beyond capture. It cannot be
Enslaved or forced to labor or to love
It cannot be bound by matrimony
It cannot be taken by trickery
It can only be understood by those who hear
The secrets it speaks slide off you like water while
I live in music and music is my sanctuary
But you – you built your house from noise
The sound of breaking things and deconstruction
There is no harmony in your dissonant heart
Therefore – I am hiding in that melody
Until I find strength to fly
Until I go and leave you
Did you think you could hold on to me
Drowning man in the water, refusing to die
Suffering sinner stealing the heart of other’s compassion
Ignorant fool poisoning what might have been
Your last chance at happiness. I reached out
To save you, but you snatched me from the water side
To not drown alone
To not end unwitnessed and unknown
But I am not drowning
This is not death. Not mine
Because I am not here
As I said to you before
I am hiding in this sanctuary of music
You built me a cage to keep me down
But I built myself a house out of hope
Where Tchaikovsky’s concerto plays to
Set me free, even in these chains