Driving
I feel it working up my insides from somewhere deep, a heaviness of my arms and legs that immobilizes me beyond extremely basic functions. Beneath my skin I feel a sharp tingle, a whole body experience of that pins and needles feeling of waking up fasterthanthis. At first it's not painful. Then it is. I try to breathe deeply, gripping the steering wheel hard because I'm trying to keep it together, the force of my concentration whitening my knuckles.
From a long way off I hear, "Are you okay?"
I am not okay. I know I should pull over but honestly, the thought of finding somewhere to pull over makes it worse. No, I will get through this, all I have to do is watch everything around me with maniacal focus and try to breath.
"Sure," I say. In, out, in. "Hey, can you turn the radio on?"