Red Cherry Jello
There once was a scientist named Bellows,
he did research in Antarctica with some fellows.
Between layers of earth in the permafrost ice,
they discovered living bacteria so very precise.
Bellows stroked his beard and laughed savagely -
he knew the bacteria was the key to immortality.
But how could he possibility smuggle it from view
with all the other scientists trying to snatch it too?
Well, Bellows liked jello, unlike the other fellows,
he liked all flavors but was partial to lemon yellows.
But he knew using cherry red, it’d be easier to hide
so he scooped up the bacteria and hid it inside.
Bellows iced down the jello and laid it on dry ice,
absconded with the bacteria without thinking twice
for he knew this bacteria was unlike any other -
it had arsenic inside, not phosphorous or another.
Bellows extracted the bacteria from red cherry jello
and injected it into himself, feeling quite mellow,
knowing full well that it was an alternative life form,
believing it would extend life span above the norm.
Bellows first had tried it on fruit flies and mice
and on human blood cells more than twice.
When he tried it on himself, he never caught
the flu or colds or diseases others fought.
Bellows never died, he lived longer than wife
and his children and friends without any strife.
But he no longer knew anyone on earth
with alternate life form ingrained in his girth.
Bellows was lonely so he injected some others,
knowing he wanted friends if he had his druthers.
Everyone was now comprised of alternate life forms,
not so alternate any more but more like the norms.
So Bellows and the new experimental fellows
lived on forever thanks to the cherry red jello
with the bacteria which wiggled and jiggled,
danced and pranced and sometimes giggled.