A Simple Girl
All my life, I have known I would never be a simple girl. I was meant to be extraordinary. I wanted more than anything to make a name for myself. I didn't want to meet the perfect guy. I didn't want to marry him and be done with all my ambitions. I wanted to make an impact on people's life. Help them through their problems.... I did just that. I was well on my way. Merely 25 years old with warm brown eyes and shoulder length hair, I was a psychologist. I, Amelia Jones, partnered with two other psychologist that graduated with me and together we opened our own office. I was well on being extraordinary.
Of course when being extraordinary, you don't take account of all the other anomalies in life. One anomaly that changed my life was meeting a guy. It never occurred to me that loving him would change the essence of who I am. Thinking back on it, I realize just why I fell so hard and trusting for him. I was alone. Plain and simple. I was alone in a town that I had no family or friends. My parents were dead and all my extended relatives lived in other states. I felt no need to make friends. He wormed his way into my life. He simply became my home. Nick James. Nick was handsome. He has hazel brown eyes and dark brown tousled hair. He was a doctor. He was quite a bit older than me. He was smart and funny and worst of all trusting. I was a fool. I'm not a simple girl. I let him hurt me. It happened two months ago but I remember it just like it was yesterday.
(Flashback begins)
I saw him. He was with her. His highschool sweetheart. Nina Thompson. She was the embodiment of beauty. Long luscious blonde bombshell curls, baby blue eyes, and curves that'll make any guys head turn. They were in his office. They were kissing. I cleared my throat. I tried to say something. They must of heard me because Nick quickly pushed Nina away from him. Looking back and forth between Nina and I, he told her to leave.
We both watched as she left. Looking at me, he made a step forward in my direction. Stepping back, I shook my head no indicating not to come any closer. "I'm not sorry", Nick said looking at me deeply.
Scoffing, I replied "Is that all you have to say?"
"I think Nina and I owe it to ourselves to see if we still have something between us." Nick said with a straight face. "Today was the first time we kissed since we broke up. It wouldn't be fair to you if I stayed with you while I have feelings for another girl."
Shaking my head with tears pouring down my face, I turned around and left.
(End of Flashback)
I never got any clarity. I just buried it away. I pretended like it never happened. Looking around my office, I smiled with pride. This is who I am. An extraordinary psychologist. Grabbing my purse and keys, I made my way out the door. Locking the front door, I turned around while looking down at my purse to secure my keys in a safe place. Looking up, I was startled to see Nick. He was looking the worse for wear. "'Melia. I'm sorry." He said sadly apologizing. I saw as he gazed at me "You look so beautiful."
It was in that moment that everything came crashing toward me. Every feeling I've tried to hide came back full force. "Stop." I said shaking my head.
"Look, I'm truly sorry. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have broken things off like that....but I still love you." He said trying to reassure me. After a brief pause he continued to say, "I know it's a lot to spring on you. You should just go home... It's getting late and you can think about it. We can talk about this more tomorrow."
He brought this up. He made me feel everything I've tried to hide. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to talk about it tomorrow or ever again. I had to say what I felt before I'd never get the chance to say it. I had to say what was on my mind before I could freeze up and wimp out. With tears running down my face, I took a step closer to him. "No. No, I can't go home. You. You were my home. Before you, I was just living in a house. Before you, I haven't been home since my parents were alive....then they died and I lost my home and my light. But then I met you and you wormed your way into my life...into my heart. It was like coming home. It was like I finally found my home, every time I saw you I felt at home. And then you left and you broke me all over again. I warned you. I told you I was broken. You didn't believe me. I guess you just wanted the chance to break me all over again so congratulations you succeeded." With one more step closer to him, I pointed my finger jabbing it to his chest as I continued saying, "I loved you, but I won't allow myself to love you anymore. You made me believe that there's no such thing as finding a home in someone. I've got to be my own home. You and I will never be together. You can count on that." As I concluded I turned around and walked my way home. I felt a burden being lifted off my chest...I had clarity. I felt a feeling of content. I am not a simple girl. I don't want the fairytale endings. I don't want to be the doting wife and mother. I was made for more than that. I am extraordinary. It's just who I am.