it's sickening to watch myself, as i struggle pathetically through this unfair and selfish world, as i attempt to make sense out of the nonsensical, and wonder when i will reach the stars, although my rational mind knows it is impossible
i hate the sticky feel of my skin and how the air feels so heavy, and how i cannot seem to do anything for myself, how i am so trapped by the physical and mental and psychological limits no one else seems to be subjected to
isn't it awful to know that everyone dies, and if it is, then why am i so comforted by that immovable, inevitable fact that eventually nothing we ever did will matter, that everyone and everything is equal in the end
my head aches as i grapple with this illogical reality, as i feel pressure upon my eyes i realize that tears are threatening, just how weak am i really, to feel this way at a few words
god i want to kill myself