walls
I keep walls up around my heart. These walls have several layers. I keep my heart and soul guarded from the unknown. I sometimes walk alone. I sometimes and prefer to run alone. The thing about me doing these activities alone is that I am not alone. I am never truly alone. I always have God. He is the one who will never leave me, he is the one who will always love me; even when I feel as if I cannot love myself. I hear the chatter of my peers yet there is a shield. I feel as if I am observing them from above. Other times I am taking part in the chatter and my shield of protection is down. I do not enjoy or like being vulnerable yet I believe it is a vital part of the way humans interact. I have to reveal who I truly am to certain people. Few will have the cursed privilege of getting to truly know me. I will always have a special place in my heart where I cherish those individuals. When I am alone, I am not sad nor am I not depressed. it is good for me to get in touch with myself and focus on my true emotions. I hide my emotions from ninety-nine percent of the world. The other one percent is who I live for. It is the people I love most in life that can only be counted with two hands. They will never know how much I truly appreciate them. I hide my intelligence by the innocence of childhood until I can't keep the shield up for any longer. My grades aren’t perfect because neither am I. My life isn’t perfect because the humans in it aren’t. It is human nature for us to mess up and ruin things. Living a life of solitude is not entirely terrible. That does not necessarily mean I want it. Jane Eyre wandered the streets until a light shined and led her to her family. Her faith in God never let her down. God is not a magical fairy. God doesn’t grant every wish we ask for with every eyelash we blow. His presence is always here although sometimes we may not always feel it. His presence is like the wind; the effects are not palpable but they are most certainly perceived.