Hell Hath No Fury...
He wasn't there, when it came down to it. When the wire finally met the spark, he was gone despite all the promises and all the sweet words whispered in the dark. Sure, I had known all along the way things would end, but when it came down to it I realized that I had known the truth of it all along.
Of course, hindsight is 20 / 20.
I did everything I could. He knows I tried.
I bent myself, contorted myself until I could no longer bend the reality around me. I made myself into an image of him and suffocated on his words until my screams were drowned out in the horrible gurgling throes of my soul's death. I read the scripture and then read it again. I breathed him. I lived him. I contorted myself until my brittle bones broke on the rocks of his obstinate refusal to love me in the same way.
He watched me, though. He watched me bend the truth and break my back. He watched me tear myself and wrench away the only little things that made me whole in the beginning. He watched and he gorged himself on my pain and on my struggle. It was a feast for him, a divine ambrosia that fueled him on and fed the monster inside him that was more and more becoming the face on the outside.
But you can't live forever in pain and the blindness of love is only temporary.
When I saw the truth of him, really saw it, it was almost too much for me to bear. I limped off to lick my wounds after I saw in him the honesty of what he was.
It was too much. Their hands clasped together, his face the picture he used to show only to me. And another fool. Another poor, pitiful full sucked into the gravity of his immensity. It was enough to break anyone and it drug me down like an anchor of despair lashed upon my chest.
In the end, my grief was cleansed away and in its place a strange rage simmered. The spark that fanned the fire grew and I knew it was now my place to expose him for what he was: Tyrant. Abuser. I was done. Broken dust washed away into the black, red waters of brimstone. But I could stop him, I could prevent another from dying the way I did.
And so I led my battle to his gates and waited. Our time had come. We would go down together.