Hurtfelt

Sometimes I don't know if what I did was right. But I need to shut you before it was done to me. Mistrusting and messed up. I messed this up, but that's all happened to me before. Broken and abandoned how else could I feel. I didn't deserve to reply, no final say, the choice was made.

Fooled into a false sense of security I could tell myself I was betrayed. That the knife in my back was twisted not by I when it was my own doing that shoved it deeper.

The time I needed was not time I had as a firm drew thick around my eyes. Suffocating myself from you. The pot was stired. The brew boiled over and I am cleaning up the mess.

But just once I wanted to pick up the pieces together. The apologies did nothing as I picked up the pieces of our breaking realtionship and shambled them back together.

I longed for a plan, some action on your part when you could not read minds. But this battle was just like the ones before and your armies beat my all the same.

For how could I ever defend against you. I knew your troubles as if they were my own. Your were my one happiness. My striving for in this bleak existence. Friendship wasn't I word I ever took lightly.

As days became years you became the very dragon I was fighting to defeat. The lies, deceit. The one you warned me of so many times was the one you became.

My anger and frustrations, the very solution you urged to take became our downfall as they turned against you.

Our poles from two different planes, I no longer know where you are. My ice drifts away. Alone again. For the best. But why does it hurt. Why do I still feel, but not feel enough to end it all. Would you mourn me? Or even know? Have you thought of me or was I welcome good bye.

We didn't talk. We knew the problem. But now I know we are too far gone. Perhaps it was my pride. I didn't want to break the fagile shell. I wanted to be proved wrong to talk it out. But anger seized me and I smashed it. Us. Nevermore?