Disney Did the Dirty
Testing the waters,
I’m married to a rabbit
but I’m a human cartoon,
he’s the one who should
breed like a rabbit soon.
I was drawn to be
voluptuous and sexy
by Disney cartoonists
and they purposely forgot
to draw on my undies.
But, alas, my Roger
uses Viagra -
Roger can’t get it up
and all my curves
are going to waste.
blowing in the wind
with nary a taste
and I am horny
and unfulfilled.
In other words,
I swipe at dry crumbs
He’s unable to do
what rabbits should do.
I flail and curse at
my open heart
and open legs
as I turn bright red
on center stage.
Men in audience
stare back at me.
I jump into bed
with another stud,
part-owner of town
where I reside.
He’s not that hot,
but he will do
until I find
a replacement man.
I smooth my hands
over my svelte body
and notice a bump
crowding my tummy.
Dr. Doolittle proclaims,
"Congratulations, Jessica,
you’re having a litter,”
as I lie spread eagled
in a paper gown.
How can I have a litter?
I’m not a bunny
and it’s not my honey’s.
I slink back home
to confess to Roger
but he has been
arrested for killing
my paramour.
I cry to myself,
it’s all my fault
he didn’t want
to do such a
drastic thing.
But I was wrong
Roger didn’t do it!
Judge Sicko,
deranged psychopath,
had vowed
to destroy Roger.
Judge’s goggle eyes
had focused on me,
for his turn
at a tryst.
I meet Judge Sicko
for a drinkie poo
and poison his drink,
swirling it
with my little finger,
then leave the bar.
Roger is released
says he’ll accept
my litter so
I leave whole pack
of baby bunnies
with him and sashay
undulating hips
on my journey
to find a
hard lover,
fully aware that
a good lover
is hard to find
but a hard lover
is good to find.
After all, a sexy
cartoon character
takes what she
can get before
it’s too late, baby,
it’s too late!
Why, oh why,
did imagination
of Disney
make me this way?
I really can’t help
going astray.