The Voice
The Voice woke me from an uneasy sleep. My heart was torn as I slept in my bed. My young daughter sleeping soundly close to me. I hadn't seen her in weeks, I had been hours away at the hospital with my sick baby boy. Now I felt I should still be there, but there are things here at home that had to be done and Jaymie needed me too. Jeff seemed stable and his father was there. I would be back later today, but still I was uncomfortable.
The Voice was dark and demonic. I tried to tell myself that it was a bad dream that awoken me. But I knew it was my ears that heard it and not my mind. I checked on my lil girl, I hadn't woke her. Her sweet little face peaceful in sleep. She deserved some peace after this month of hell. Staying with friends and grandparents, it had to be so rough on her, not understanding what was going on. She was only six and we tried to protect her from some of the reality. Jeff had been her constant companion and her best friend. How do you tell her that even if he lived he would never be the same.
The words from that voice would haunt me for an eternity. Spoken with demonic glee "bye bye Jeffy, you are dead!" I thought of trying to reach the hospital or my husband but it was early morning hours. I was just nervous about being away from him, right? I lay there trying to go back to sleep. Fading in and out until the phone rang. My husband. He had died. My Jeffrey was dead.
The Voice has done exactly what it wanted. It haunted me. For Twenty two years it has tormented me. I could never understand the meaning of the Voice. It wasn't God's voice with a warning. I have never heard His voice as some people do. I believe He does speak out loud to people at times. But this was no Godly voice. This was definitely a Demon. But my baby is safe. He was pure and I KNOW he is with God. So what joy would satan have at his death.
I went to sleep last night, afraid. This is the anniversary and the voice still scared me.
But I slept. And this morning I woke with the answer. And it was so simple. Twenty-two years of torment, and it was so simple. It was Satan's voice. He was saying goodbye to my son because he could no longer torture him. He couldn't make his body deform itself any longer. He couldn't make him scream out for hours at a time. God had taken him home. Satan in all his power couldn't touch him again. But he used that voice to still have me. Today I say "Go to Hell! you have no more power over me"