Body stiffens into

silent scream.

Smoke screen of

bright color

masks mud

charcoal

mildew smell.

An acrid fire of

burnt shit

buzzing

pain.

Visions of bridges.

I swing.

Slide into aching

desire to destroy.

Smash.

Pens cracked.

Inky fingers

controlled by

cauliflower

rotten

and stinking

in the back of

the fridge.

Hallucinating names

of past lovers

I've allowed to

convince me

to abscond

to drag me

to grate me

into their hellish

mouths.

I want greasy

Hulk

strength

to explode my skull

like a pop bottle

beneath a car tire.

A praying mantis

snapped in half

with her eyes bulging.

Dissolve and bury

me in earth.

Speak of how

I binge ate

while children

swallowed mud

to soothe their

distended tummies.