The Disasterville Chronicles: Chapter One
Explanatory note: My name is Sophia Baumeister, and what you will be reading are slightly edited excerpts from a diary I kept. As strange as it might seem to some of the audience members, I only changed particularly problematic grammar and the names of people and places involved. Everything else is as factual as can be expected of a diary. I also decided to be kind and translated it from the triple cipher method I used, otherwise it would be unintelligible.
Day One:
Since I am officially starting high school tomorrow, I have decided to start keeping a diary. I suspect it will be necessary catharsis after dealing with the usual drama. Writing things down will also help me keep track of who is speaking to whom, the latest gossip, and most importantly who is on hero/villain rotation. You know, typical high school stuff.
Oh, who am I kidding. This city is the craziest place on the planet. I still can't believe we've lived here as long as we have; you would think my parents would be more interested in moving after the third time downtown got demolished. But no, our lives and jobs and houses are here, so no matter how insane it gets we're not moving from Disasterville. So this diary is to help me survive the weirdness that no one else cares about or notices.
First off, my initial assessment of Disasterville High. It is, without question, one of the top five epicenters of the inexplicable in this city. Last year alone major portions of the school had to be rebuilt thirty-seven times for "gas leaks." Make that thirty-six times, once it was "planned renovations" that just happened to follow a major kaiju smackdown thwarted by a girl in a poofy dress and her pet cat. That, of course, brings me to the second stage of the assessment. Based on the apparent age of most heroes/villains/alien robots in the city, combined with the number of the same in middle school, I'd say that my class will have, at most, 50% normal people. Knowing my luck, most of the teachers will be decidedly far from normal as well. I hope at least some of the teachers are both normal and competent; it will be much easier to come out unscathed if so.
Anyway, I'm trying to decide what to bring in my backpack. I have to bring the usual stuff for class, plus my sketchbook. I'll definitely keep the flashlight, glowsticks, nonperishable snacks, water bottle, and umbrella from middle school. I'm tempted to replace the extra walkie-talkies with a burner phone, but that would defeat the purpose of having a radio backup if the cell tower is down. I'd also like to bring something a little more defense-oriented, but I'm not sure school policies allow anything more than pepper spray. I might be able to sneak in some flour bombs if I pretend they're baking supplies since smoke bombs are explicitly banned. At least the water bottle is stainless steel. Oh, and I can't forget to bring the inflatable life vest I just got. I'll go add that now. Oh, and garlic. Lots and lots of garlic. It might be hard to bring a spare change of clothes with all that; maybe I'll just dress in layers and keep a heavy jacket in my locker.
My classes at least looks pretty good. I have history with Mr. Traveler (his first name isn't Tim, I checked), shop class with Mrs. Elric, Spanish with... actually the teacher isn't listed... geometry with Dr. Defender (take a wild guess what she does in her spare time), and biology with Mr. Daemon. Like I said, the classes look good, it's the teachers I'm worried about.
I should go to bed early but I'm nervous.I know I'll need to be at my best tomorrow, and that won't happen if I'm sleep deprived. I think I'll go double check the security system and set up the window cans just in case. In this city, you can't be too careful.