Grieving Waves
Soaking up the moments, They fly by so fast.
Two years to process the worst day of my life,
and the chapter of that day is almost closed
Whether it lingers or not depends on the mind, heart, intelligence and understanding of a jury of our peers.
I don't pray often. In fact I'm not sure what God thinks of me or what I think of him. If he loves me so much, why so much pain? Why so much hurt for one person? I ask him these things. Then I ask for mercy and a day without pain. I pray for the outcome I need, while I realize this is selfish, I need this for my life to continue in a way that I can process it.
What if I have to wake up without him? Knowing he's in a cell for a crime when he's also a victim? And then I can't breathe again.
Bricks sit on my chest.
My stomach turns.
The day turns black, and before I know it it's day once again.
I float through the days and the run together and I cry and I laugh and I scream and I panic and I crash.
I've seen our justice system fail and I've seen it succeed, but I've never seen it be consistent. This isn't a fair system when your life is on the line. Lives aren't games that should be sold to private prisons in the name of a win. I'm watching someone I love be a pawn in the game. The game we've created and named justice. I'll never call it justice again. There is no justice in being guilty until proven innocent.
The countdown begins... 10 days.