Love

"I love you without knowing how, or when or from where."

- Pablo Neruda

A riddle

Once small,

now endless

I gather fears,

I gather hope

I am the gatherer of contradictions

Fear me- for I can kill

Fear me not- for I shall bless

I unite-

tear apart:

A two-edged blade

Humans flee me;

Humans embrace me

I am the Durga of the hearts

simultaneously Lord Yama

Catch me if you can-

but you shall see:

I am a stream of transformation;

Ungraspable, unsolvable

If you don’t harvest me in time

I wither away and die

I am love

Sun

Locked up in a beehive of convention.

Producing lies - not honey.

Hexagons of frustration.

The sun can barely make it through those thick, waxy walls.

Walls built of promises not to break.

Photos of ancient smiles hanging off them.

Here I lay, naked.

The queen of the beehive.

An aculeate unable to sting.

Alone yet surrounded by a swarm of those built by my own flesh.

If you are crowned a queen you better say thanks!

Better stay put!

You have wings,

but not those meant to fly with.

The wings of the queen of bees are to be folded to her sides.

Diamond rings keep them from flapping.

She grows fat in time.

The beekeeper too.

Releasing a tear that reflects the dream of life outside,

through the bedroom window;

across the window sill;

down the cracked facades.

Through every street in an empty town.

Icy winds hinder not.

It lies in the palm of your hand in the morning when you wake up.

My sun!

My amorous apivorous!

You are a lady's mantle for my shimmering dreams.

Collect them until you find my face between your palms,

one morning in your waking hour.

Until then:

I fold my wings,

stay put,

say thanks,

grow fat,

grow old

and cry, cry, cry

with dreams of dewy meadows exuberantly flickering on my resting corneas.

Vagina

fold upon fold

my center-

your goal

borned through

yet hidden

watch in silence-

its forbidden

fruit,

flower,

the earth for seed

a glimpse,

a touch-

like silk for thee

Lie

I do not possess the loveless kind of love,

My love is wide;

I give my love to all whose eyes sparkle.

Seams of tenderness across hardened hearts.

I do not have the power to refuse each man’s right to love.

In my room:

shamelessness dripping from the walls.

Droplets of longing flows over my face.

I have no right to discard a man's right to love.

Between my sheets blessed spirits float.

I utter nothing but lies.

Path of lovers

On this road,

of thorns and broken glass,

dusty and dry,

through waterless desert,

we are bound to walk with naked feet.

Our palms we raise to the sky;

Our sights we keep up high

Not to witness how our path tears our bodies apart

Hearts are kept intact

This is the only thing

we cradle,

care for

as if our lives depend on it

We kick gravel and laugh;

Sing as snakes swirl up onto our legs

Smirk as the sun burns holes through our skin

Applaud as scorpions bite us

Giggle at jaguars lurking in the dark

We count the stars at night

In awe of the northern lights

Miles down the road:

we have lost our legs,

Torn down by endless walking

Legless torsos reaching for each other,

The gazing sun:

Tortures us, nurtures us

A pile of charcoal is what we will become

By-passers will find

Two golden hearts

deep within that pile

Gleaming,

Shimmering

And they will know:

This was the path of lovers

Caught in-between

My lungs between my children and father

My feet between my country and here

My heart between you and another

I braid time around those I hold dear

But it decomposes and blows away;

Mixed with cherry blossoms and pollen I watch it decay

My skin between what is real and what is not

My fingers between a laugh and a tear

My eyes between all remembered and all I forgot

I weave time around those I hold dear

But it decomposes and blows away;

Mixed with smoke and old breaths I watch it decay

My nails between heaven and my mother

My legs between your door and his

My hair between my husband and lover

I paint time around everyone I kiss

But it decomposes and blows away;

Mixed with sorrow and distress I watch it decay

Until death do us part

Baby,

do not ring the blues.

No, no- do not

Emptiness be

the only end

for lovers having lived

Baby,

weep not for me.

No, no- do not

Separation be

the only knowledge

lovers carry within

Baby,

do not mourn,

the awful about to happen

not having happened yet:

An irrevocable tragedy

Re-wind

I’m unriting you writings, on the papers and on the heart.

I am un-kissing these lips and un-**** this body.

I am a magician, with tricks in a hat not only filled with innocent bunny rabbits.

I possess this magic. How awfully silly of you not to acknowledge my inherent super powers.

*SWOSH*

I am passing our old hiding places:

benches in deep woods, and concrete walls of office buildings.

I am re-painting those places with forgetfulness: no naked body of mine was ever pressed against that surface, or this. Perhaps a confused version of the self. Once or twice. But this is not remembered.

*POOF*

I am un-starting to smoke, I am un-dreaming this dream.

I am un-un-zipping my jeans and I am un-doing the doings of the mind.

I am re-painting and re-modelling this future ahead

I am re-directing the longings of this slippery, slimy heart, still dancing to the lonely rhythm of its own beat.

I am re-applying to reality. Please accept my application as soon as you can! I am a useful citizen in Life, the home of my soul.

I am re-winding time to stop re-gretting having met you. Nothingness requires no remorse. Emptiness is risk-free. I rather float in vacuum than re-enter this cobweb of retarded love.

This “love” had one chromosome too many.

I am re-entering the road which was my own, in the life which I used to control.

I am rejecting you. I am referring you to the department of damaged goods.

No re-negotiation of the pillars of this plan of ours. No re-cognition of this so called love.

I am re-entering this road which was my own all along.

I am starting to walk.

This houndstoothed-covered back of mine was the last you ever saw of me.

Firefly

Lurking in the woods,

you pulsating beacons of green.

Two becoming one,

the most beautiful sight ever seen.

Watch them catch each other’s gaze;

Spread your illuminating sparks;

Float across the dewy grass;

To the rhythm of their beating hearts.

Two panting bodies reaching the ultimate high,

Enveloped by the forest,

while you illuminate the sky.

Lovers left in awe, enchanted by the light,

Their love carried on a thousand wings,

This cold and dark, dark night

Lanterns of the night, fireballs of lust,

Even the bluest of eyes turn black by the dusk