The day Lonely Left me Alone.

I used to feel lonely with my friends around.

Funny, 'cause I would laugh and smile where appropriate (and not).

They weren't the best of friends...

they were actually pretty toxic friends.

so I left them. (dramatic pause)

I should have felt great. I should have felt independent and invincible. I was standing on my own. That made me strong an everyone would see. right?

Right. For the first week anyways. then I felt lonely.

Did I have a mutated loneliness that haunted me with or without people?

No. that was the realization. Loneliness wasn't a  physical condition: fixed by company.

Lonely is the cavity. The feeling of a cavity rather; constantly nagging at you like a toothache. I hole must be filled. What is this hole?

I tried filling it with books and deeper conversations and found the antidote by accident; Peace with my own solitaire company.

I had to not fear Lonely, but love lonely back into myself. Lonely was a person in me who had been holding on to the fear and resentment of not being fully understood.

Lonely was a thing in me that longed for MY Love of MYSELF

Lonely was the soul in me crying for my company, like a child pained at being ignored by a parent. Lonely was the illusion sold to me by the media that suggested I should have 1 million friends and plans every night.

Lonely had a cure.

I was Loneys cure.

So I started talking to myself

(You'd be surprised what you say when you're not pretending)

I started asking myself questions like I was on a date

or befriending someone in elementary:

What's your favorite color? Why is it? What music do you like?

One day I awoke to my silence.

Alone.

and not Lonely.

Lonely faded away with the night..

And I..

Well I...I was simply Alone.

And Okay.