She ..
( The only thing I want you to do dear reader ..
Is to play each song I mention while reading its part ..
Belive me dear it will give you a good feeling ..
I’m just saying at the end it’s up to you darling ..
I hope you enjoy ! )
_________________________________________________________
lost ..
As she was listeing to her favoite piece of KEATON HENSON’s music titled ‘’ EARNESTLY- YOURS ‘’
Where she went to a whole new world ..
She was lost ..
On her little toes she made a work of art ..
Making some smooth moves ..
She flight wildly just as the petals of dandelions flower ..
Although no one had taught her how to dance ..
She followed the music’s rhythm ..
Without knowing the exact destination ..
She was lost ..
But in that unknown path ..
She made her own kind of art ..
Her first steps to fly ..
« MAYBE BEING LOST IS ANOTHER WAY TO BE FOUND .. » She said ..
Continued on walking forward ..
Making her own feetprints ..
Left her own singnature in every holy step she had made ..
Left that eargasming music took her to her own world ..
The music rolled in slowly just as soft as her trying to touch her iceberg heart ..
She wept !
Cried rivers ..
She could hear her heart beats ..
« ARE YOU MELTING ? » Asked her heart and wondered : « AM I FEELING ! »
She felt warm ..
That kind of warm ..
That feels like being alive ..
She felt a bit alive ..
After those big wars ..
And ruthless storms ..
Where she had lost the way to feel ..
Where she couldn’t feel neither sad nor happy nor anything ..
Being a cold-hearted ..
Wasn’t easy at all ..
And it’s not being strong at all ..
It was actually ..
The strongest weakness ! ..
Deep inside she wanted to feel alive ..
She wanted to cry ..
She wanted to laugh ..
To smile purely ..
And truly ..
This girl was just in her room ..
And that eargasm aesthetic music took her away ..
Kinda like music porn ? ..
She had escaped to her own artistic world ..
And let me explain something we should all know ..
That anyone in this world want inside to be loved ..
Everyone wants to be touched in the right way ..
To be cuddled tightly ..
Everyone ..
Yes ! We like to be alone ..
But never being lonely ..
Isn’t it right ?
SHE ..
She decided to move from her home town to have some rest in a safe area .. To get a little peace after the war ..
The train was going so fast yet she felt that everything was going on slow motion ..
She was listening to ‘’ The Do – Dust it off ‘’ ..
The rain and her tears were falling on the same rhythm as the music ..
A great nostalgia .. Longuing to the old days ..
Remembering every smile .. Hearing every laugh .. Every cry .. Flashbacking every moment ..
Happy or sad .. glad or mad .. Every face .. Every touch .. Every feeling .. Every soul ..
Though she felt unsafe there .. But there’s a special charm in that town ..
There are places that we can’t forget ’cause we had left in every single street our feetprints ..
Not just that .. In every place of it we had felt a certain feeling .. A certain memory ..
She wept rivers till she fell asleep ..
..
She woke up as the train whistled ..
Finally she arrived ..
What an athmosphere ..
Walking out ..
New faces ..
New city ..
New path ..
Mybe some hope ..
Well ..
She is so sorry ..
’Cause she didin’t mean to leave you guys suddenly in a rude way ..
She really didn’t mean to do it ..
’Cause the most thing she hates is leaving without saying good bye ..
Soul ..
She is now listening to a song called ‘’ Satellite ‘’ by SALTNPAPER ..
This song makes the soul feels the longuing ..
Longuing to the old memories ..
Memories that has happened in a past life ..
Eventhouh they make her feel as if she lived them before ..
Have you ever felt that you’ve met someone before ..
Although it’s the first time you’re talking to him/her ..
Like you’ve met before .. In another era .. Or another life ? ..
Haven’t that feeling passed by you before ? ..
Could that really happen ? ..
It feels like you were meant to meet that someone ..
Like your soul belongs to that someone ..
You feel as if you know that someone from centuries ago ..
Isn’t it weird ..
Isn’t it beautiful ..
What a great power it is ..
You can’t even escape ..
Whatever you do trying to proove that it’s not possible ..
No matter what you do to run away ..
The fate always brings you back ..
To that someone ..
Isn’t it funny ..
It’s like a fairytale ..
Or a legendary ..
It is a speritual feeling ..
It’s not just about physics and logical scientific things and proofs ..
We can’t just ignore the speritual part ..
We can’t just stand on the physical touchable things in our life ..
And if we’ll do we’ll be missing alot of things and experiences ..And feelings ..
New House ..
« I’M EXHAUSTED » She said while hitting her hands on the wall
« WANNA WEEP OR CRY BUT I GOT NO MORE TEARS »
She asked again for almost the milloin time : « WHYYYY ?! .. ME .. »
She had got no power to get up .. Or even to move her little toes ..
She was exhausted of having lessons from life ..
She wanted to run .. Move .. Make new steps forward ..
She wanted to dream ..
Yes she knew that no one was going to light the lamp for her ..
She knew that she had to make her own efforts to jump upon those struggles ..
She knew that she had to bound her own boundaries by her own self ..
She knew that if she won’t hug her self no one would do ..
So she decided to open her room’s door ..
And face the storm ..
The wind was so cold ..
Her skin freezed ..
But she kept on moving forward ..
Maybe she would find a warm light to hold ..
Walking alone in that cold old strange place ..
..
Suddenly she felt something was behind her ..
A warm breath ..
A quite whisper ..
« HEY .. ( Cough .. Cough ) .. »
She Ignored it as if nothing was there ..
And kept on moving on ..
A hug .. A neck kiss from behind ..
« DON’T TRY .. I’M AN ICEBERG .. I WON’T MELT .. AND YOU MAY CATCH A COLD FEVER » SAID SHE
« STOP WALKING .. » That stranger person answered ..
« PLEASE ! » He added
She kept on walking ..
« WELL YOU LEFT NO CHOICE »
Turned her ..
And (CRACK !) To the wall ..
Looked at her eyes ..
Deeply ..
Her empty eyes contacted with his honey brone eyes ..
( SILENCE )
Grabbed her injured hands on up forcibly ..
« WANTED TO SUICIDE ? » HE ASKED
« WHAT’S YOUR BUSNISS WITH THAT ? » SHE REPLIED
« IT LOOKS SEXY ON YOU .. YOUR INJURIES I MEAN .. I CAN’T HESITATE THEM .. WANNA SMOKE ? .. » He said
He lighted up a cigarrette ..Gave it to her .. She took a whisper and put it down .. And like a movie scene..
He had inhaled the whisper of smoke from her lips before she exhailed it ..
« A SMOKEY KISS » He said while adding a sweet smile ..
With an empty voice she said : « LEAVE ME ALONE »
( HE SMILED )
She turned her way back and continued on walking ..
Because her heart beat and ached a bit ..
She was surpprised to see someone in that cold empty street ..
She thought no one would go out in that weither ..
« .. IS HE EVEN REAL ? »
She walked back yelling : « UGH .. ALRIGHT .. YEAH .. CURIOUSITY WINS ON PRIDE .. »
But she couldn’t see anyone ..
For a while she started doubting that it was just a day dream ..
( SILENCE ) ..
« HEY ! .. KNEW YOU’LL BACK .. WANNA A CUP OF COFFEE ? .. » HE SAID
It’s her love coffee .. But she had to reject it ..
« WHO ARE YOU ? WHERE ARE YOU FROM ? SINCE WHEN YOU WERE HERE ? DO YOU KNOW ME ? » She wondered
« HOLD ON MISS CURIOUS .. WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP AND DRINK COFFEE .. LET’S TALK SLOWLY NO ONE IS RUNNING AFTER US IN THIS EMPTY TOWN » He said
« ANSWER ME .. ’CAUSE I’M NOT IN MOOD TO CHILL WITH ANYONE .. »
« OKAY I’M .. I’M AN ALIEN .. WANTED TO DIE BUT .. IT WASN’T MY TIME TO GO I GUESS .. MAYBE IM’S JUST LIKE YOU ? AM I WRONG ? »
« UM .. IT SEEMS YOU‘RE IN MOOD TO JOKE SO .. »
« WAIT ! ( SHOWING HIS CUT BRUISED HANDS ) I’M JUST LIKE YOU .. WHY WALK ALONE THEN .. JUST STAY WITH ME .. PLEASE MISS ICEBERG .. »
« SILLY AF .. » SHE SAID while turning back and continud walking again ..
« I KNOW .. YOU DON’T BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WILL LOVE YOU .. YOU DON’T WANNA HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH ANYONE .. I KNOW YOU’RE EXHAUSTED .. HAD ENOUGH OF LEARNING .. IN PAIN AS HELL .. COLD AS AN ICBERG .. NO HOPE .. NO TRUST .. NO MORE SUFFER .. CAN’T DREAM .. CAN’T FLY NO MORE .. WANNA DIE RIGHT NOW .. JUST THE SAME I’M FEELING RIGHT KNOW .. » He shouted out ..
She stopped walking ..
« YOU SAY THAT I SHOULD FACE MY FEARS
THAT I SHOULD HOLD MY PAIN AND SWALLOW MY TEARS
YOU SAY THAT I’VE BETTER FAKE MY SIMLE .. HIDE MY SADNESS BEFORE SOMEONE APPEARS
YOU SAY GET UP AGAIN ON YOUR FEET !
AND SHOUT : « IT’S JUST A LIFE LESSON ! LEARN IT AND MOVE ON ! »
I WONDER ..
WHEN WILL LIFE STOP GIVING ME THE SAME FUCKIN’ LESSON ALL THE TIME ?
WHY DOESN’T LIFE LET ME LEARN THINGS BY TRAVELING AND DOING THINGS I WANT ..
I WANNA LEARN AND GET TAUGHT THE WAY I LOVE TO ..
WILDLY .. BREATHLY .. MADLY .. LIVELY ..
WANNA LIVE .. NOT JUST EXIST ..
I WANNA STOP SURVIVING ..
I WANNA START LIVING ..
I HAD ENOUGH OF DIVING ..
PLEASE DRY MY TEARS ..
I HAVE GOT NO MORE POWER TO FACE MY FEARS ..
I WANNA LAUGH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART ..
« THAT ONLY IF I STILL HAVE A HEART »..
BECAUSE I’M FALLING APART ..
CRASHING ..
DROWNING ..
WHEN WILL I FIND MY SERENITY ?
I’M TIRED AS FUCK ..
WILL I EVER FLY ?
IS IT TIME TO LEAVE ? » Said she ..
HE ADDED : « BUT LITTLE LADY .. THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU NEED A HUGE HUG .. THAT COLLIDES YOUR BROKEN PIECES ..
AND A DEEP KISS TO HEAL YOUR PAIN .. A LONG CONVERSATION THAT NEVER ENDS .. YOU WANT A THERAPIST .. BETTER THAN PILLS .. YOU WANT TO SEE A SHOOTING STARS SHOWER ! .. YOU WANNA DANCE WITH NO MUSIC PLAYING .. YOU WANNA LIVE .. FEEL YOUR WARM SOUL ALIVE ..
NO MORE JUST EXESTING .. NO MORE JUST SURVIVING .. YOU WANNA SOMETHING THAT BREAKS YOUR EYES FAUCET AND MAKES YOU WEEP AGAIN .. FEEL AGAIN .. SCREAM AGAIN .. SHOUT AGAIN !
YOU WANNA FEEL ALIVE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW RIGHT ? THAT’S WHY WE KEEP TRYING TO DIE RIGHT ? »
« JUST .. STOP .. PLEA .. »
He run out to her .. a tight hug ..
« STAY AS YOU ARE DON’T MOVE .. » Said she ..
She was weeping ..
Didn’t want him to her .. ’Cause she had never cried in front of people ..
She let him get up when her tears stopped ..
He said : « LOOK AT MY EYES »
As she did .. He added : « YOUR EYES ARE BRIGHTENING .. I WONDER WHY .. DID I MAKE YOU CRY .. DID THAT ICEBERG MELT ? OMG ! »
She kept staring at him with no answer ..
« I SEE GALXIES IN YOUR EYES .. » He said
Kissed her forehead ..
She was shivering ..
She couldn’t see anything ..
She fell on the floor ..
So he piggybacked her home ..
..
As he entered his house ..
He had put her on his bed ..
Turned on a song called ‘’ Love is a bitch ‘’ by Two Feet ..
« .. I’M FEELING COLD .. »
« Where Am I ? .. I should see a doctor .. » She wondered
He bounded her hands ..
« SHUUT .. I’M YOUR THERAPY .. LET’S GET DRUNK OF OUR TEARS .. » HIM
.. He added : « DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MAGIC KISSES ? .. HUMM .. LET ME SEE .. OH ! YOUR HEART IS BROKEN ! YOU NEED AN URGENT SURGERY ! DON’T WORRY THIS SURGERY NEEDS JUST A HUGE TIGHT HUG TO COLLIDE ALL YOUR BROKEN PIECES OF YOUR HEART .. ALRIGHT ! »
She just kept staring at him .. And said : « SILLY AF .. »
« YOUR EYES ARE WEIRD » She added
( THEY BOTH SMILED )
Biting lips .. Crying rivers ..
Biting neck .. Making blue marks ..
As a piece of art ..
Hugged her till she fell asleep ..
He took a cigarrette .. While listening to ‘’ OPERA HOUSE ‘’ by Cigarrettes After Sex ..
« What a classic mood » .. He said ..
..
As the morning has came up ..
She woke up ..
Rolled a bit in that house ..
Finally she found him ..
A tall handsome man sleeping deeply like a child ..
She took her jeans jacket and walked out to her house ..
She had left for him only a cigarrette and wrote on it ‘’ Thanks .. Stranger .. ‘’
To be continued ..