No Fate
"I'd love to pat you on the back for a job well done, but my bloody hand's just been blown off my bloody wrist, ass wipe!"
"Whoa," I said, "easy there, buddy." Connor came right at me—he was a gnarled gnashing rabid dog thirsty for blood. "Easy—"
I felt his knuckle obliterate my face, scrambling my brain like a perforated yolk within a shell. My head hit the floor, thudding like a potato. The cold hard surface was in three places at once, but I was pretty sure I was hovering a few inches above.
"El jefe," someone from my squad called out. "Kid's head ain't been straight for a while now, that lil' brain of hers probably trippin' or somethin'."
"Do I look like I give a fuck?"
"Look, man. Your hand's gonna grow back aight?"
"Your 'kid' dropped the fucking ball, and one of the filthy bastard jumped me!"
I pushed against the horizontal wall. My heard was still swimming, drowning in a thick viscous fog that I couldn't seem to break free from. I backed myself into a corner, certain that Connor was going to finish the job. But then, my vision cleared, and I saw Reese peering down next to me.
"What the fuck, dude?" he said. I could barely hear him from the background ringing in my ears. "Are ya trying to get yerself killed?"
I shook my head in response. The words echoed loud in my head, but what came out was incoherent blabber.
"Connor?" I finally said.
"He gone, man. I had to suck up to him with mah mad skills."
"Thanks, Reese."
"That gonna sting like hell in the mornin'."
I touched my cheekbone. My face was already swollen, probably glowing bright red, with shadows of blue and purple around the edges. It only hurt when I pressed.
"Yeah," I said. "No shit."
"So, tell me, man. What went wrong? Did you skip dinner or somethin'?"
I cringed. Flashbacks of the event sullied my consciousness. One moment, I was there with my team, annihilating the invaders, discharging my plasma rifle indiscriminately; the next moment I had this weird-ass vision—it shook me to the core. But I soldiered on because that's how we were trained. No mercy. Only prejudice. The truth is: I hated violence, and I hated killing even more. Even if it was suppose to be vile creatures from another planet.
"Whatever it is, man... you gotta pull it together."
I detected a change in tone. Casey was eyeballing me; he might as well be scrutinizing me with a giant magnifying glass (and burning a hole through my forehead).
"Hey girlfriend, you listenin'?"
"Yes," I said, glaring. "I heard you."
"What really happened?" Casey asked. "Out there?" He nudged toward the blackness outside the view ports.
I studied his face, wondering if I should take a gamble with my only friend in this Godforsaken war. "For split-second," I said, "maybe longer, I saw women and children being slaughtered... by us."