Chapters, Sculpting, Changes, and the Game of Life

There are always mixed feelings when one realizes that a chapter of their life is drawing to a close and a new one is about to begin.

The thing is, life is full of change, even within a 'defined' chapter. So much of life is how we roll with those changes: How we adapt to them, embrace them, reject them, let them shape up or how we shape the changes themselves.

Knowing that, the first bit of guidance to be provided is stop thinking of your life as chapters, or at least the present and the future. It is easy to distill your past as such, but defining the present as the 'chapter in progress' can lead to complications.

Instead, view life as an endless cycle of hands of cards in a great game. Some hands you get dealt will be great fun to play. Other hands you will want to fold right away. Some sure-thing hands you will somehow still lose. Other terrible hands you will find ways to win with.

Keep track of the losing hands you win and the winning hands that you lose. Those moments in life tend to be some of the most profound you will have. They will show you milestones that are important to notice. Places where you were sure you were going to turn left, but ended up turning right. Why?

Most importantly, no matter how bad a hand or a run of hands get, there is always reason to play on. So, it is important to always tuck away the best and sweetest moments of life...

Because, life almost always throws everyone a wicked curveball at least once. A game-changing hand that is destined to change your course somehow. It is statistically unavoidable. Up until a certain point of life, I had the best and worst moments within a 45 minute window. That transition was brutal. And since that particular moment, I had even worse hands. But, I have also had sweeter as well. You will to.

We are all both lumps of clay to be continually shaped into something as sculptures shape with clay and we are slabs of marble that sculptures chip away at to discover the true shape within. Both at once. It is perhaps the most unique thing about being human.

You have a core to you, that will rarely change. Your foundation. The shape of you that is trapped within the marble. Life sandblasts away at the edges to try to find where the shape of you truly exists.

Off of that foundation though, you are molding and building upon it, as one would work with clay. To the skeleton of your soul, you are adding the sinew and the flesh. The quest to become more whole, with more purpose in the world. It is important to know what parts of yourself that are the rarely-changing core, and what parts of yourself are open (or susceptible) to change (whether you want the change or not).

Knowing and learning that, will help you in all things in life, and help you enjoy life even in the rough times. All of your relationships will improve, because you will better know which ones are the strong ones that fit you and which are not.

Along those lines, we live in a time where many like to see things in just the shades of their grey. It is important to still see the black and white in the world though. To see the good and the evil. The right and the wrong. Always re-challenge yourself to make sure you do not lose your way in seeing it.

Always try to wake up and have the first thought of the day be, "This is going to be the best day of my life." Easier said than done, but ever so important to try to do. Again, you have to play the hand dealt to you the best you can. In this case, sometimes you are the best source of good luck.

Understand love. Understand that it is not easy to understand. Recognize the people in your life that DO love you unconditionally. Feel the shape and the pattern of that love and try to apply it to all of the relationships that matter in your life. Always be a nice and good person, but recognize some relationships are not worth cultivating or holding onto.

Understand differences of opinion. In an age where polarity is all of the rage. Drawing lines in the sand. Perpetual us vs. them attitudes. It is ever so important to understand why the differences exist. Sometimes common ground cannot be achieved. But, often times, attitudes of 'agree to disagree' can and should. There is more to all of us than just our singular facets, yet we live in an age where for too many of us, we only let ourselves see people in those singular ways. Rise above that, as difficult as it is. 

Pay it forward. Do good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds. In a restaurant, pay for a stranger's meal. Every so often, drop some food stuff off at a food pantry. Instead of throwing away something used but still nice, donate it. Most importantly, whenever you get to be the hero or you do the yeoman's work, do it quietly. Don't do it and want praise or thanks, do it because it was the right thing to do. Sometimes you will get rewarded directly for it. Sometimes, you will get ridiculed for it. Be the quiet hero.

When you do 'fall in love' with the 'one' and commit. Know that that relationship will be the hardest and yet the best you will ever have. Savor the good times. Understand you will both change over the course of that life together. You might have to fall in love with that person multiple times because of it. It is worth it though.

Never take yourself too seriously or too foolishly. When in doubt, embrace your humility. The path of zen and least resistance usually resides there.

Write often. Journal or write poetry. Write essays or exploratory fiction. Writing can bring you comfort, clear a cluttered mind, help you discover something important, reveal truths shaded in fogs, etc. 

Never sell yourself short. You will stumble, you will fall. But you have purpose in this world. You will touch people in such unbelievably, wonderful ways, (whether with your words, your actions, your presence) that those times alone should be enough to remind you to never sell yourself short.

Finally, and most importantly. Enjoy the heck out of life. You may be have depression issues, anxiety issues, whatever. Find parts of life, everyday, to just ENJOY! To suck the marrow out of the bones.

Good luck! And make as much of that good luck on your own.